relationship compatibility

Remember studying magnets in science at school? If you put two pluses or two negatives together they would repel each other, but popping together a negative and a plus would stick like glue. It’s the nature of magnetism but does it ring true for relationship compatibility? Should you only date people who are opposite to you? Does the rule of opposites attract actually apply when trying to find a soul mate or is it only related to science? And is there such thing as a person who is too opposite for a relationship to work?

The science behind it

After a quick Google search, it seems the opposite theory rings true. Opposite personalities do attract. But why? Relationship experts believe we are attracted to people who are different from us because it automatically creates excitement. There is so much you need to learn about this new person because they are nothing like you. There is also a theory that we are attracted to opposite personalities because of our lives quest to be perfect and complete. Seeking out a partner who has strengths where you are weak allows your subconscious mind  to believe that when you are with this person, together you make a perfect package, therefore obviously your attraction towards them is higher than a person who is similar to you. Because who would say no to perfection right?

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What can you gain from dating an opposite partner?

If you have met someone recently who is your opposite and you are in two minds as to whether you should progress in dating them or not, read the following. There are some strong positive reasons for dating someone who is opposite to you and not only is there potential to find someone you really gel with, but also you may find that it improves yourself.


Dating someone with a different outlook to you allows you to make an effort to really try to understand why a person thinks, feels or is interested in certain things. Developing understanding for your new partner grows your empathy towards them and as a result perhaps to other people in your life.

New experiences

If your new partner has different interests or hobbies to you, it is a chance to experience new things as a couple and show your partner all the things you are interested in too.

A better understanding of people

In other aspects of your relationships in life, be it with friends or family, it is likely we surround ourselves with people who are the same or similar to us. Spending a large amount of time with a person who is opposite reminds you that there are a lot of people in the world and can open your eyes to a new way of thinking, feeling or dealing with situations in life.

Improvement of communication skills

One of the most important factors in relationship compatibility is communication. But dating your opposite may come with friction when it comes to communicating. They may think or deal with things differently to you so it is important that your mind is open and be honest. In understanding who your partner is, you need to make sure you communicate to them who you are too as differences in personality may mean differences in, for example, showing emotion or being intimate.

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How far opposite should you go?

How can you be sure you are picking a person who is opposite to you but not so completely different that you just don’t have anything in common? The negatives in dating a person who is largely different from you, is your differences can create a divide. Unless you are both great communicators who have open minds and are able to compromise on difference of opinion, a divide can suddenly become a big wedge and drive you away from your partner. Yes, dating someone who has different interests is great, dating someone you disagree with at every turn is not fun. You can be opposite but still compatible as a couple and that’s what you have to be certain of in order for dating an opposite to work.

Is there such a thing as too opposite?

As you go through life, you meet a plethora of different people from all different backgrounds. Sometimes you hit it off like a house on fire, some become your acquaintances and some you just don’t get along with. And that’s fine. You don’t have to get along with everyone. The same applies when you are playing the dating game. You could meet someone and think they are so different, therefore they will bring out a different and exciting side to you but you need to still be able have some sort of common ground. I’d say when dating an opposite you still need to be relatable on some level, whether that be your points of view, your focus in life, or even your sense of humour. Yes maybe it is interesting to be with someone who has completely different hobbies and interests, but to make a relationship work you must be on the same page in terms of what you want from a partner or what you want to achieve from your life together. It is always good to get a different perspective and learn from it but you don’t want someone who will hold you back or make you question anything you want to achieve.

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It may attract, but does it last?

With every relationship, one of the hardest things to do is to keep you both interested in one another. Initial exciting feelings can fade and ‘the honeymoon phase’ dissolves into real life. So is keeping your spark lit easier when dating someone who is opposite to you? I’d say it’s definitely possible.

If you both have different hobbies or interests, it takes a longer time to explore all the different things you are both interested in together. Differences in opinion allows for controlled debates (who doesn’t love a good debate) and heaps of compromise which can only make you appreciate each other as you are both willing to develop for the other person, giving you a sense of being appreciated regularly.

So if you are playing the dating game, and currently looking to date someone new, remember not to shun someone who isn’t the exact same as you. After all you can’t start disagreeing with the science of sexual magnetism.

Elle works as a freelance singer, travelling the world performing on cruise ships and in hotels. Find her on Facebook or check out more about her writing on her website.

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