keep the spark alive

Relationships are always tough and things don’t get any easier as time goes by. You don’t get any better at it just because you’ve been on the job longer. With most long-term relationships, there are going to be periods of ennui and speed bumps of tedium along the way. Wandering eyes can also become a problem when anyone spends most of their time with just one person. The most important thing is to be aware of the inevitable lulls or moments of doubt and to make a plan to counteract them. Just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun being in the relationship and keep the spark alive.

We assume that since we’re committed, our relationship is solid and doesn’t require the time, attention, and energy it did in the early, less secure days. On the contrary, it’s a big mistake to take your partnership for granted and assume that it doesn’t require the same kind of care and attention as it did before. If neglect continues for too long, it can be a recipe for disaster.

If you and your partner want to be together for a long time to come, you’ll surely want to find ways to keep the spark alive and prevent a long-term romance from becoming just a companionship. Follow these steps that will help you put the sizzle back into your relationship.

1. Keep your finger on the pulse

In most relationships, there is usually one partner who gets involved more than the other. If you notice that the romance is fading, introduce corrections to foster more closeness and playfulness. A bouquet of flowers with no particular occasion or a bedtime story snuggled next to your partner might seem like small things to you, but they will mean a lot to your loved one. You are not solely responsible for keeping an eye on things but because of your awareness, you will be capable of influencing the strength of your connection.

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2. Stimulate an adrenaline rush

Studies have shown that doing activities with your partner that produces an adrenaline rush or an aroused state of mind will easily transfer excitement back into your relationship. So, even if you haven’t hit a theme park since you were a teenager, you can always go and ride that stupid-high rollercoaster together or maybe go zip-lining together, snorkel with stingrays, or jet off to a country that you know absolutely nothing about. It may sound scary, but it will be a bonding experience that you’ll never forget.

3. Exercise together

If roller coasters aren’t your thing, exercising with your partner will trigger the same kind of chemical reaction in your brain. Whether you run in the park or spot each other at the weight bench, sharing that heightened physical experience can actually instill some new energy into the relationship, not to mention boost your libido.

4. Unplug

Put all your tech gadgets aside and designate ‘sacred time’ to each other. A tech-free zone will assure that there are no interruptions to intimacy. Then enjoy.

5. Soak in a hot tub

Some delightful ways of spending an evening together don’t cost anything. Take a bath together by candlelight, followed by more candles in the bedroom. It will surely enhance the romance.

6. Eat together

Eating together helps to promote trust and closeness between people. To make it even more intimate feed each other every forkful of a meal. Sit across the corner of the table so you can be close to each other. Feeding each other also slows down the rate at which you eat, which is a good way to lose weight.

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7. Write love notes

Love notes stuck in books, under plates and pillows, and in the underwear drawer are sure to draw smiles of appreciation. It’s the little things that add up!

8. Challenge each other

You and your partner are obviously a team. But sometimes you may feel like you’re lacking the mystery and excitement you had in the beginning stages of your relationship. Find silly ways to get competitive with each other, whether it’s playing stupid games you love or challenging each other to a cook-off.

9. Control your anger

Everyone gets angry, and mild anger can sometimes be useful to express strong feelings. However, when expressed in harmful ways, it has a powerful potential for destruction within a relationship. Try to manage it so it wouldn’t start sinking your love.

10. Speak the language of love

Last, but not least, is the way lovers talk to each other. It needs to be sincere, intimate, and coming from your heart.

Knowing how to keep the spark alive in a relationship may seem easy, but it’s actually more difficult than most lovers imagine. You have to remember you’re not always going to be the same teenager who fell in love with another person. You will evolve and so will your partner.

Ali and Lubaina are a couple from Mumbai, India. They are on a mission to travel the world together without compromising work, family and other duties before turning 50. They are travellers, foodies and fashionistas writing their blog Lubuzine.

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