Have you ever tried to get a relationship going with a Capricorn man and found it impossible for him to emotionally open up? The first date seemed so promising, but he’s been too busy with work to spend much time together, and he doesn’t know what to say once you get him off his career topic. You try to show your growing love, and he just doesn’t seem to get the hint. People often wonder, why are Capricorns so cold?

This guide to understanding a Capricorn man will reveal the hidden motivations behind even the most mysterious Capricorn behavior.

What are Capricorns known for?

There are actually a lot of good things about Capricorns. You might have first noticed your Capricorn for his achievements at work or school. In school, they are found in the practical majors that are likely to lead to stable jobs. Even though Capricorns may not be drawing attention to themselves, their quiet accomplishments eventually result from getting them noticed.

Capricorns are reliable and steady workers. They function best in an environment that has a clear structure. They are often found in more conservative settings that have defined hierarchies and processes. While they might not be the freewheeling artists themselves, they appreciate the finer things in life, including the arts, and look for jobs that will allow them to afford that lifestyle.

There is so much to like about Capricorns that their flaws can come as a surprise. They tend to focus on what they already know they are good at, typically practical, physical things. When life events push them outside their comfort zone and force them to confront the emotional side of life, they don’t know what to do and they hate it. It is this anxiety that can make a Capricorn man distant.

There is so much to like about Capricorns that their flaws can come as a surprise. Click To Tweet

What does the Capricorn Zodiac sign mean?

Zodiac signs are based on what season a person was born in. Each of the four seasons — spring, summer, fall, and winter — is divided into three Zodiac signs for a total of twelve signs. Capricorn, beginning at the winter solstice around December 21, is the first sign of winter. In the Northern Hemisphere, that is physically a cold time of year.

Each sign also tends to be a reaction against the excesses of the sign before it. Sagittarius, from late November to late December, is often a time of wild holiday parties. From late December to late January, Capricorn is, therefore, a time of cleaning up the mess.

Think of New Year’s resolutions tied to New Year’s Day on January 1, which falls within the sign of Capricorn. Capricorns are ambitious and want to improve things. Sometimes a New Year’s resolution that works harmoniously with the existing structure of a person’s life can lead to lasting benefit. Everyone has also seen New Year’s resolutions that don’t last because they try to impose excessively harsh restrictions. This can be mirrored in the negative traits of Capricorn.

Each sign is also ruled by at least one of the planets or luminaries. Capricorn is ruled by the planet Saturn, which is known for its cold rings of ice. In astrological symbolism, Saturn is associated with restriction and limitation. Until Uranus was discovered in 1781, Saturn was the furthest planet from Earth known. Hence, it was the limit of human knowledge for a long time.

Saturn is also associated with a structure, a form of restriction and limitation that can help you build a positive foundation to grow from. The key to getting around Capricorn’s negative traits is to address Capricorn’s need for structure.

How do Capricorns show affection?

Capricorns might seem cold-hearted to everyone, but they do mean well. A Capricorn can be more interested in revising your resume or making a spreadsheet for chores at your house rather than hearing you talk about how you feel. However, Capricorn’s feelings require an environment of deep security to emerge, and your Capricorn man is quietly working to build that environment where he will feel safe.

The very beginning of a relationship is easy for a Capricorn. He is probably successful enough to impress you with his achievements, and he can afford to take you somewhere nice on a date. The routine of preparing for and going on a first date is clearly defined. He has probably studied a few lists of questions to bring up in conversation.

The Capricorn man will kiss you only when he is sure about his feelings, so it may not happen on the first date. However, when he does, it means he is pretty serious about you.

The married phase of a relationship is easy for a Capricorn. He loves the stability of marriage and having a family. He will still be achievement-oriented and may have trouble balancing his career and home life at that point, but he will be very proud of his family and will love the role of being a good provider.

As things get closer to marriage, the Capricorn gets more comfortable. He is good at meeting your parents and helping plan the wedding, and his plans for the wedding will be realistic and not over budget.

It’s getting from the first date to almost married that’s the hard part. That’s where Capricorn man’s problems of getting suddenly distant or acting hot and cold come in. He excels in school, where there’s a defined syllabus explaining what you need to do to get an A in the class. In a work environment with a clear job description, he’s okay too. But how do Capricorns act in the ambiguous setting of dating, where cultural norms are continually shifting? Capricorn men are anxious because they don’t know what is expected of them, and so they might retreat. When Capricorns are hurt or even uncertain, they tend to withdraw. They hate to take risks where they don’t know how things will turn out.

If he’s overwhelming you with practical advice about how you ought to live your life, as annoying as that might be, he is trying to maintain a connection with you. This is his comfort zone where he feels confident, and he might go there when he feels overwhelmed by confusing emotional stuff that he doesn’t know how to deal with. The more confident he feels in the personal realm, the more the over-the-top elements of advice-giving will settle down.

He might also, rather than talking, be good at helping out with chores and other tasks. Capricorn’s love language is very practical. He wants to be a good provider and make sure both of you have your physical needs met. Isn’t that enough?

Capricorn's love language is very practical. He wants to be a good provider and make sure both of you have your physical needs met. Click To Tweet

How to deal with a Capricorn man

If you are not willing to meet a Capricorn partway, you probably should never date a Capricorn. You might need more emotional support than your Capricorn is inclined at first to give — but, frankly, your Capricorn needs emotional support too. Capricorns may never be the most effusive people on Earth, but they are still people.

Capricorn’s emotions are there, but they need a safe environment to come out. First, the Capricorn needs to know the context of the relationship. How committed are you, and what does that mean? What would that level of commitment look like on a school syllabus or a job description?

These things can be tough to pin down. However, the more specific you can be about what you are looking for, the more your Capricorn can help you get it. If you want commitment, does that mean moving in together? Do you want to be engaged or married before you move in together? How long do you want to date before making a step forward like moving in together or getting engaged? When you are dating, how often do you need to see or hear from each other?

Whatever your answers to these questions might be, you need to know them, and your Capricorn needs to know them too. The issue is not so much the actual content of your answers as it is the Capricorn being aware of what is expected of him. Once he knows what you are looking for in a relationship, he can make an informed decision as to whether he can move forward. He probably already knows what his own answers to the big relationship questions are, so, if he hasn’t told you yet, feel free to ask him.

Capricorns are often found in traditional religious settings that provide clear expectations and a general sense that everyone agrees to them. Even if your Capricorn is not religious, he might be drawn to traditional relationships and family structures anyway because he likes practical stability.

However, some Capricorns could be happy in a polyamorous relationship as long as they maintain the spreadsheet of who sleeps with whom. Their main concern is to have a clear path to be successful and achieve stability and status.

Once your Capricorn has a clear idea of what is expected of him and how he can achieve it, and once he knows you aren’t going anywhere, he can relax a little. Capricorns are realistic to a painful degree, so what might get him laughing and then help him open up is dark humor. While Capricorns adhere to the public structures’ rules, they are secretly aware of those structures’ ridiculousness. If his favorite structure is the corporate world, watch the movies Office Space or The Office with him, and if he has ambitions for financial success, try The Wolf of Wall Street.

Being an earth sign, Capricorn is grounded in the physical world, so expressing physical intimacy might be more comfortable for him than expressing his feelings and emotions. Don’t push him to display physical affection in public, though. Capricorn likes to keep his public image serious, and interfering with his reputation is a surefire way to set off his temper.

The more you can use your words to be clear about what you need from him, the better. For instance, if you come home from work and rant about something that happened at your job, his natural tendency will be to give you advice on how to fix the problem. If that’s not what you want, you need to directly tell him something like, “When I’m upset about my job, I need you to just listen to me rather than give advice.”

If you can tell him things about your style of processing emotions, like, “When I’m sad, I need to be alone for a while,” or, “When I’m angry, I need to talk about it,” that helps him. It might even encourage him to share similar insights about himself.

When the emotional realm has rules, Capricorn is better at it. This allows him to feel safe enough to be more expressive.

Capricorn likes to keep his public image serious, and interfering with his reputation is a surefire way to set off his temper. Click To Tweet

What is the good part of Capricorns being cold?

You were drawn to your Capricorn and picked him for a reason, though. If you traded him in for someone else of a different sign, you might miss his quiet ability to see the big picture and be calm in a storm. While many people get paralyzed by too many options in life, a Capricorn can easily cut through the muck and pick a path forward.

Sure, there is a fine line between decisive and cold. A Capricorn, however, is decisive because he wants to make sure his considerable capabilities are going toward the situation where they can achieve the best possible result. Once he is confident he is in that situation, he can finally get comfortable there.

Capricorns’ reputation of being cold comes from their fear of not knowing what to do when they get outside their comfort zone of practical achievement. Though Capricorns seem old even when they are young, they are basically looking for boundaries like little kids are. The more you can be clear about the structure of the relationship you are looking for, the more your Capricorn can work with you to build that. Once your Capricorn feels secure in the relationship, that coldness might start to melt.