Some people will tell you that it’s impossible for a career driven person or for an aspiring entrepreneur to simultaneously enjoy a successful relationship. But guess what? They’re totally wrong!
I recently overheard a conversation in a coffee shop between two women about combining career and relationship:
“For sure, I would never be able to fit a man into my schedule right now. No way,” said one of the women.
“Same here”, the other agreed. “I just don’t have the time for a man right now. I’m not saying I don’t want to fall in love with someone – I just don’t want to yet”.
Let me make one thing clear: there should always be time for love. If you seriously believe you have no time for love, something is wrong. Your hectic schedule, far from enhancing your life, is clearly hindering it. It’s robbing you of those magical moments we all deserve.
You might argue – as the two women in the coffee shop did – that entering a relationship while leading a busy lifestyle just wouldn’t be fair to the man.
“Moreover, what kind of relationship would it be?” asked one of the women.
“An unhealthy one.”
Look, you don’t need me to tell you that having too much on your plate can stop you from enjoying a relationship with a man, but only if you let it. It’s all about adjusting your mindset, as well as making minor but significant changes to your habits and lifestyle. If you still don’t think it’s possible to lead a busier than normal life and have a relationship at the same time, here are a few ways to make it totally possible.
Manage your time
This one is obvious, right? But it can’t be that obvious if you still haven’t managed to figure out how to date a guy while leading a really hectic life!
One of the major reasons why relationships break down when one or both of the partners stop prioritizing their relationship. If, for example, you have a job that demands that you work 50+ hours a week, plan a weekend getaway with your man at the end of the month when you finally have some time off. Planning this sort of thing ahead of time gives you both something to look forward to and keeps the relationship buzzing along.
Your boss also needs to know that, yes, you value and love your career, but you also value your relationship. Forging a strong relationship with your boss is essential if you’re going to get the most out of your job, as well as your life outside your job.
We are not in the 1960’s anymore, an era when it was next on impossible to stay in touch with our partners while working insanely long hours. We’re in 2016, and we’re all fully connected. This means keeping your relationship alive when you can’t be with them in person is easy. It just requires a bit of effort on your part.
According to a popular productivity hack, the best way to excel at work is to work for 30 minutes before taking a five-minute break. Then, you work for another 30 minutes before taking another five-minute break. During your five-minute break, you could easily send a message to your partner. Write on their wall, send them some emojis. Let them know you’re thinking about them. You haven’t got the time to get into a huge conversation about your feelings, but you totally have the time to put a smile on their face.
Remember the power of saying ‘No’
If you can learn how to say ‘no’ more often, you might find that you have opened the lock to the ideal balance between your career and your relationship. Saying ‘no’ to something is incredibly empowering, and it stops us from getting overburdened with commitments that we just can’t keep up with. If you say ‘yes’ to everything – which is certainly something many workaholics do a lot, you will find that you aren’t able to spend time on the things that would really add value to your life, like a loving relationship.
Saying ‘no’ is not easy, especially if you are trying to combine career and relationship. But there are little hacks you can employ that will make it easier. For example, according to a linguistic study on self-talk, saying “I don’t want to do it” is much more effective than saying “I can’t do it”. If we say we can’t do something, the other person will try to convince us that we can. But if we immediately say we’re simply not interested, the other person has less of a reason to keep pushing us.
If you’re worried about the impact saying ‘no’ will have on your career, just remember this quote by Confucius: “The person who chases two rabbits catches none.” Basically, you cannot do everything. Prioritise your goals, double down on them – and make time for love. Love is the good stuff. The rest is details.