Finding someone compatible with some emotional maturity and can be a life partner you can count on can be a struggle. Some of us are old souls and mesh well with those older and wiser. And this puts you in the bucket to consider marrying an older man. An allure can come with spending your life with someone older. But there is a bunch of other stuff to consider, too.
Living with an older man who is more mature and highly self-aware of who they are can shift your world in some unique ways. It’s not that an older man is necessarily better. Being with an older man can equate to teaching you about real-life experiences because they have usually been there and done that, offer you unique perspectives on what may appear to be obstacles in your life, and are living proof of these experiences. And this can feel very different from marrying someone your age or younger. I narrowed it down to 10 things you need to know before marrying an older man.
1. Open communication
As you mature and get older, holding back your feelings, your point of view, and your perspective becomes less instinctive. Being straightforward and honest about your feelings is something you are more likely to do. You will experience this firsthand when you spend time with an older man. It can be very refreshing if you feel like you have been stuck dating people who are less than honest or transparent in expressing how they feel about you, life, or just things in general.
2. There is less judgment
One of the things that can be refreshing about living with someone more mature is that they have learned to have self-acceptance. Therefore, they tend to encourage you to accept who you are, too.
Suppose you are struggling with your uniqueness, quirkiness, or those weird, eccentric qualities that others peg as weird when you are with someone older and mature. In that case, they have often learned through life experiences that everything doesn’t always fit neatly in a box. They may relish having someone around who is multi-faceted and brings a different perspective. The bottom line is you may feel more comfortable being true to yourself with someone more mature.
3. Better sex
When a man has some maturity under his belt, pun fully intended, this can translate into him being a better lover and sexual partner. Since time is on his side and he is older, he has had time to realize what may not have been effective and ineffective in the bedroom.
As they mature, men also crave more of an emotional connection than a physical one. If they are truly mature, which comes with age, it’s harder for them to build a relationship and sleep with someone purely based on physical attraction. What this equates to in your relationship is someone willing to work to get to know you, which usually results in a better sexual experience with you.
4. He is mature
Maturity brings some insights along with a different perspective on life. With some maturity comes some real-life experiences. You go through ups and downs and learn to navigate various obstacles to move forward.
Dating someone older means they can provide insights and different perspectives when you encounter something that can seem impossible. It can save you time and needless energy overthinking a problem and, more importantly, help you move forward quickly.
5. He has more patience
Aging and getting older teach you something you cannot escape: patience. Things don’t happen overnight. Being with an older man can be a good balance for you, especially in a world where things move at a hyper pace. With maturity comes a greater appreciation for the little things in life and being with someone mature can help you learn to slow down, relax, and recalibrate.
Sometimes, with someone your age, it can be a little competitive. You might need to outdo one another when you are closer in age and achievements. When someone is older and because they are more established, they may not have the same need to compete with you. This age gap relationship dynamic can dial back the immaturity of poor communication and ego-busting that can happen with someone closer to your age. They may become your biggest cheerleader, pushing you to levels you may not have felt you could accomplish.
7. He had a life before you
A relationship with an older man means he has some history. It can include past marriages, relationships, kids, grandkids, etc. Navigating this in your relationship can take some patience on your part. You will also need to have clear parameters and communication with one another of what to expect from one another as far as their relationships with ex-wives, kids, etc.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions about past relationships he may have had, how he navigated through the relationship, divorce, etc. It can provide you with clarity on his intentions his relationship patterns and help you determine if he is the right fit for you. The past is generally a strong indicator of future behavior. If he has a history of infidelity, emotional or physical abuse, or other issues, keep your eyes open to determine whether the behavior has been corrected or is repeatable.
8. He might be set in his ways
The older you get, with the comfort of knowing yourself comes the comfort of doing things a certain way. When a man has had a level of success and is happy with the way he is, trying to break habits that might annoy you or introduce him to things outside of his comfort zone may not be so easy. Hang in there. In a relationship where you mix someone a relationship of someone younger with someone older, if you are truly compatible, you can both learn and teach one another valuable lessons.
9. He is more stable
This isn’t a rule for every older man. But, generally, if you are dating someone older, they should be more stable. They should have some level of consistency in their life as they should have been able to create a more solid foundation in their life. This stability can be soothing versus dating someone still trying to figure out who they are, what they need to accomplish, and where they are heading.
10. He helps you feel more balanced
Someone with a level of maturity and understanding of life can help you learn not to take yourself so seriously. He has lived a little more than you have and realizes that life comes one day at a time. Bringing this clarity into your life can help you learn to ease back, relax, and be a bit less intense.
Every relationship comes with something in the mix. But going into it with your eyes wide open will give you a clear vision of what to expect when you decide to marry an older man.