young guy flirting with girl

So you’ve been dating this guy, and you really like him. Every date ends in bed, but something does not feel right. He is passionate and seems attracted to you, but you don’t get the attention you want outside the bedroom. You start doubting if he is serious about you. Is he a player who only wants casual hookups?

Here are the telltale signs he only wants you for your body.

1. He only praises your appearance

Does the guy you are dating compliment you on your personality, or does he only notice your appearance?

There’s no denying he is attracted to you sexually if he compliments your physical attributes. Of course, men do compliment girls on their bodies. If they find your dress sexy, they are going to say it. However, a man who is seriously into you will compliment your intellect, sense of humor, or personality.

A man with serious intentions admires qualities beyond physical beauty. However, when he only comments on your legs, breasts, or butt and acknowledges you when you wear sexy clothes, it’s a sign that he wants to get into your pants and is only enthusiastic about an intimate relationship.

So one thing is clear, he sees you as the object of pleasure. However, to determine if this is the only reason he is with you, pay attention to other signs on this list.

2. He repeatedly touches you

Did you notice the guy you are dating can’t keep his hands off you? Does he touch you anywhere, anytime, even in public? Regardless of whether you are busy or not?

When I say “touching,” I don’t mean affectionate hand-holding or hair-stroking. I refer to grasping, touching, or slapping your bum or slipping his hand under your skirt.

Does he touch you intimately when he shouldn’t? Do his actions make you feel uncomfortable?

If that’s the case, you should exercise extra caution in his presence. Not only is he interested in sleeping with you, but he may also embarrass you in front of your friends or relatives.

His behavior shows a lack of respect toward you and suggests he is only here to fulfill his physical desires.

man touching womans leg

3. You barely talk over texts or on the phone

How would you describe the relationship dynamics with the guy you are dating? Do the two of you talk on the phone or text each other regularly?

When you ask him, “How was your day,” does he get back to you and share what he’s been up to? 

Is he trying to get to know you more? Do you ever exchange good morning and good night messages? Does he ever text you saying he is missing you?

How do your conversations go? Do you talk only about basic things, or do you have deep conversations? Or maybe you don’t communicate for days before an intimate encounter?

Does he take the initiative to text you, or do you initiate the texts? Does he reply to your texts immediately, or does it take him some time? What kind of reactions does he give? Do they indicate any interest in you?

The guy who is into you will call you to hear your voice. He will get excited thinking about chatting or talking on the phone with you.

Communication is a must in a relationship. So if the guy you like doesn’t seem interested in talking to you, it is a big red flag.

If you see these signs, he likely has no interest in your life or what you do. That’s why he won’t even bother calling or texting you. Sad but true!

4. He disregards your boundaries

Does the guy you are dating disregards your personal boundaries and wishes? Does he ignore your emotional needs?

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He might ignore your opinions and desires, insulting you for insignificant matters. He may make fun of your decisions or coerce you into doing something you don’t want to. Even worse, he might accuse you of wrongdoings making you feel pressured and trying to convince you made a mistake.

He’ll focus on finding ways to state his own desires, as making love is the only thing on his mind. He believes you are gullible and would go to any lengths for him. He likely wants to take advantage of you and is here for your body. 

You don’t need a man who doesn’t respect your boundaries, to whom it makes no difference if you consent. A guy who cares about a woman never pressures her.

man pressuring a woman

5. He makes sure you never meet his friends or family

Has the subject of his family ever been brought up by your partner? Have you met any of his close friends? Has he ever asked you to join him when hanging out with his buddies?

When the two of you are together, and he gets a phone call from his friends, does he typically answer it and talk in front of you? 

He is only interested in you for your body if your answer to most of these questions is “no.” This reveals a lot about his intentions toward you.

Just keep him at bay, girl! Once he achieves his goals, he will hurt you. How you feel won’t matter to him. He might even ghost you. Usually, those ghosters come back when they are bored or feel like boosting their ego.

A person who is interested in you and cares about you will make his feelings known to others. However, if he isn’t, he will do whatever it takes to keep you a secret.

6. He shows interest in other girls

Have you ever found him watching other girls or just talking with them? He might even speak to them in your presence. Consider his actions and body language while he converses with other women.

Yes, even in a relationship, we still find other individuals attractive. However, respect for your partner is something that one expects.

When you are on a date, notice if he openly flirts with other girls. He might smile a lot and act very differently from how he does when he is with you.

This behavior indicates he is with you for your body and keeping his options open. If there are warning signs that he is drawn to other ladies, he is playing with you. He will likely ditch you when he gets bored or finds someone else.

man flirting with two women

7. Texts with him always get sexual

Even if your partner texts you occasionally, his conversation is always sexual. He is keen to hook up with you if he sends you provocative text messages referencing your body.

For example, when you mention taking a shower, he might comment, “I wish we could shower together.” He doesn’t pay attention to anything else and constantly tries to flirt. Instead of texting casually, he starts sexting.

He would want to talk about your life and listen to you if he likes you and wants to connect more deeply. Otherwise, he won’t even bother about what is happening in your life.

Of course, in a committed relationship, sending intimate texts to your partner is perfectly alright. But it can’t always be about intimacy. He needs to get serious.

8. He leaves right after lovemaking

Does the guy you are dating leave after each hot intimate night? Or does he ask you to leave? Does he ever indulge in pillow talk or wants to spend the night together?

He may make an excuse about needing to get somewhere, being busy, or having an important meeting, even on weekends.

He will use you as an object to satisfy his desires and depart as soon as he is finished. It’s because he’s only interested in your body. He is merely exploiting you to fulfill his sexual craving.

If he truly cares about you and pursues you for reasons other than your body, he would stay up all night cuddling with you. He would want to spend time with you, not only a hookup.

couple cuddling in bed

9. Everything you do ends up with sleeping together

Whether you want to watch a movie or have dinner with your partner, he constantly manages to get into bed with you. You end every date by sleeping with him. Do you even go on proper dates?

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This is nothing to be surprised about. He does arrange your dates in a way where he can get you to bed. He plans his movements in that way.

What would be another plausible explanation for ending up in bed with him when you didn’t want to? It seems like he has an exclusive pass to your bedroom.

If no intimacy is involved, do you spend any meaningful time together? If the answer is “no,” there is a good chance he only sees you as a booty call. Not all dates should result in hooking up. He can break your heart if you start developing romantic feelings for him.

He’s not here to receive your affection. Well, maybe he is here for love. But not the love you are hoping for. He is here for the love of lust!

10. You feel uncertain about him

Does your partner silence you all the time? Or perhaps you catch him ignoring you and talking to someone else when you are in a group? Does he always cancel your plans and come up with last-minute excuses?

Does he make plans only if it is convenient for him, whenever he is in the mood? Does he threaten you by saying he will break up?

If he does, try talking to him about these concerns and see how he responds. If he truly likes you, he will apologize for making you feel like that and try to change.

But if he is here just for your body, he might merely laugh at you and brush everything under the rug making you believe you are imagining things.

He might coerce you by insisting it’s not like that by gaslighting you and accusing you of making him insecure. He might even get mad at you.

Be careful, girl! Sometimes, we fail to see the truth when blinded by love. It takes some time, but you will eventually realize he is merely interested in sleeping with you and is emotionally unavailable.

couple arguing in bed

11. You feel like the relationship is just a task

See if your guy treats you as he treats any random person. If he does, maybe you are the source of his satisfaction for his intimate needs. He is faking a relationship with you and does not involve you in his life decisions.

If your relationship makes you feel unappreciated, you can’t enjoy being with him, and the thought of meeting him doesn’t excite you. Doing anything related to your relationship puts pressure on you and feels like a burden.

He only sees your body; otherwise, he has no interest in you. You are stuck in a complicated relationship that has no love-based commitment.

This man does not deserve you and carrying on might impact your mental health. It will be best for you to let him go and move on.

12. He never talks about the future

It is normal to hesitate when committing to someone. However, as time passes and you are still together, you may start thinking of plans with that person. However, this is not the case. He never talks about the future with you. No plans for the next month, summer holidays, or new year celebrations.

You ask him questions, but he either responds with “Let’s see what happens” or gives vague answers. One date at a time is the furthest you could plan with him. 

Alarm bells!

Chances are, he is with you for your body, and you might even be his side chick while he plans the future with somebody else. One thing is for sure: he is not interested in a serious relationship. Call it quits if he wants nothing more than a casual fling.

unhappy woman and indifferent man

13. His heroic side has not surfaced

A man connects with a woman on a deeper level when he feels she needs him. When his hero instinct is triggered, it serves as one of the innate drivers, making him desire to look out for and take care of you. He will begin to be empathetic towards you and try pursuing you romantically. 

However, for this to happen both partners must be ready for a commitment

If his heroic side has not surfaced, you can try to evoke it by asking him for advice, complimenting him on his achievements, and telling him how much he makes you happy. Encouraging your man to feel needed and valuable is the easiest way to trigger his hero instinct and connect on a deeper level. 

Sometimes, a simple conversation or move can help your relationship progress. However, if you feel your efforts are unanswered, and your man only cares about himself, he likely wants you for your body.

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14. You are the only one who makes an effort

Does your guy make any effort in your relationship, or are you the only one who does? Does he return your love with similar affection? He may say he loves you, but his actions speak otherwise.

Where are his efforts if he truly cares about you? Does he want to hang out with you? Did he ever invite you for a romantic picnic, prepare dinner, or spend exclusive time with you?

He never acted this way? Then there’s a good chance he only puts in effort when he needs something from you and wants to sleep with you.

A man is abusing you if he doesn’t reciprocate the affection you show or if he only uses you to get what he wants.

It is a relationship that won’t progress. You will be grinding for it to work, but he won’t invest any effort in the relationship. He is simply wasting your time.

If a guy likes you, his top priority will be you. He’ll make an effort. Sadly, it seems like this guy is only interested in hooking up with you.

woman blowing a kiss

15. He always marches straight to the bedroom

Every time you set up a meeting or a date, does he enter your home, then gives you a kiss and an embrace, and march towards the room?

Without thinking about anything else, he pulls you close in just a few minutes and starts making out with you. He doesn’t even check in to see how you’re doing and avoids all small talk.

Guys are always curious about the girl they like. They arrange a date to get to know her better and ensure she is more than just a casual acquaintance. They can enjoy a lovely evening conversing about their lives, watching movies, or engaging in interesting activities. However, since he isn’t, it is clear that he is more eager to sleep with you.

Tell him you don’t want to sleep with him, that you are not ready. The next time he does this, try having an honest conversation with him.

Instead of sleeping, let’s have a proper date, watch a movie, or spend quality time together. Then, hear his response.

Whether or not he is interested in you will be apparent from his responses. If he seems annoyed and gets angry, he is after your body.

16. He acts selfishly in bed

Does your guy attend to your needs when you are in bed? Does he display any romantic feelings? Or are things rushed?

According to research, a man’s sex drive is higher than a woman’s. So if he is selfish and focused on only the intimate aspect of your relationship, you should talk to him and make him aware of how you feel.

Be open and tell him about your needs. If he continues acting the same way and ignores your desires, he’s only there to satisfy his lust. It’s probably time to admit that he doesn’t care about you.

Emotional connection is as crucial as intimacy in a serious relationship. And it’s not wrong to speak your heart and expect a man to respect your needs. You have every right to do so.

unhappy woman laying next to man in bed

17. He is a mystery to you

Do you know much about the guy you are seeing, what he does in life, or just basic things related to his lifestyle? Do you know where he lives or who his friends are?

If not, it’s a sign that he does not intend to make you a part of his life. There might be various reasons for him acting that way, but one thing is certain – he is only eager to sleep with you.

Guys interested in more than just a casual fling will share details about their life with the girl they like. While you can’t expect a person to be an open book from the first date, as time goes you can expect to get to know a person better.

Has it been weeks or months since you’ve been seeing this guy and you still don’t know much about him? Unless you enjoy the casual relationship status, it is unlikely to progress anywhere.

Telling him you aren’t here to fulfill his lust would be best. What about your needs? You are an individual and not just something he can sleep with when it’s convenient for him. If you aren’t happy, let him go so you can make space in your life for someone you truly desire and deserve.

Camilla is a marketer and a self-proclaimed gadget junkie. She works online and lives in her suburbia house with her three cats. Camilla has made plenty of relationship mistakes along the way. She wants to share these experiences to help other people gain insight into their problems and hopefully find a path to their solutions.

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