the wrong boyfriend

It is truly surprising the lengths that many women will go to hold on to the wrong boyfriend – someone who does not share their goals, values, and vision. The wrong boyfriend is someone who you feel insecure about being with because he has not done much of anything to make you feel as if you are a high priority in his life. Does any of this sound familiar? Being with the wrong boyfriend can have devastating effects.  

No one enjoys having regrets in life, but there are certainly plenty of regrets that you will feel if you attach yourself to Mister Wrong. He does not add much positive long term value to your life, but for some reason, you feel you need to hold on to him. Perhaps because you are so emotionally attached to him and cannot imagine your life without him, even though you feel unhappy when you are together. And, what is even sadder is that he lets you hold onto him even though he knows that the two of you are not compatible. Here are some things that you should consider when dating the wrong guy.

1. You can miss out on the right guy

There comes a time in each person’s life when the need to “graduate” occurs. We graduate from school levels, and we also need to graduate from relationships. We don’t often don a cap and gown when we graduate from one relationship to the next relationship or friendship, but moving forward emotionally is still a very monumental step. When you stay too long with the wrong guy, you miss out on being with the right guy.  

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I have read some opinions from people who have divorced and remarried. Many of the people who shared their experiences in online forums had stated that they feel relieved after moving forward from their past relationships. One woman posted that she could have died (not literally, but emotionally) when she thinks about the wonderful life that she almost missed out on with her current husband if she had decided to stay with the wrong man (her ex-husband).  

The wrong boyfriend can become the wrong husband

If you do not put a stop to a “going nowhere” relationship with the wrong guy, you might stay with him and eventually, marry him. Once you commit to being in a marriage with someone, it gets even more difficult to get out of it. I am following several direct sales leaders on social media, and one of the leaders is a woman named Kimberly. In addition to having a thriving business, Kimberly is married and has 2 children from her first marriage, and 2 more children from her second and current marriage. I have seen videos of Kimberly describing how horrific and mean her ex-husband was to her when they were married to each other.  

Now, Kimberly is a mother to four children and she is happily married to a man who she is always gushing about on her social media pages.  If she had not given herself a chance, Kimberly might still be stuck dealing with the dysfunctional behaviour of her first husband. Or, she might have chosen to avoid finding love again, and her children born from her second marriage might not be here today. Never underestimate the power that your significant other has on your future. If you are not careful, the wrong person will become a part of your life.  

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He dismisses your ideas

Your guy should value your opinions and suggestions. When your man is on the same page as you are, the biggest problem that the two of you have is that you finish each other’s sentences. The wrong guy is not tuned in with you enough to know how important sharing your ideas is to you. If your boyfriend only cares about his thoughts, goals, and feelings, then it should be clear to you that he is not the right boyfriend for you.  

Having your feelings dismissed is a terrible feeling because you start to question your worth. It is not vital that your boyfriend worships you, but it is important that he respects you. And, when your value in the relationship is overlooked, then it is clearly because you are not being respected.  

You avoid spending time with loved ones

When people are in unhappy relationships, they tend to isolate themselves from their friends and family. Some isolate themselves due to feeling embarrassed about having to explain why they are not in the best of moods. Can you relate? If your boyfriend is someone who you do not feel a loving connection with, you are going to feel unhappy about that.  

If your significant other is the controlling type, he might persuade you to avoid spending time with your loved ones because he knows that you will most likely share details about what is going on in the relationship. Your guy knows that your supportive family members and friends will not like hearing about the shenanigans that he has been up to in your relationship, and he does not want to deal with the criticism of the people who love you. Isolating yourself from your friends and family will only make you feel more alone and uncertain about taking steps to improve your situation. The last thing that you should do when you are with the wrong guy is to rely upon him to help you find clarity.  

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The right thing to do is to let the wrong boyfriend go. It is absolutely silly and pointless for you to deprive yourself of the best things in life.  You were created to be awesome, and you need to be in the company of people who value you. Are there aspects of your mate’s personality that you don’t admire? Do you feel that your personality doesn’t mesh well with your boyfriend’s? If so, now is the time to let go. If you do not feel ready to let him go right away, you can start doing it slowly. Take control of your life by recognising who should and should not be part of it and remember: there is no place in your life for the wrong man.  

Akua is a Canadian born and raised girl with Caribbean roots. She is a journalist, actress, music teacher, performer, owner and marketer of 3 worldwide dating websites, as well as an independent Pure Romance business owner selling passion products for singles and couples.

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