mr wrong

Do you keep falling for the unattainable, undeniably sexy, uber charming bad boys? The guys who sweep you off your feet in a matter of seconds. The ones that make you feel completely enamored to point you just can’t say no even though you know they are Mr. Wrong?

The sexual attraction between the two of you is off the charts and you can barely wait till you see him again. He knows how to pull you in and push you away with his game of tug and war. He is the king at playing hard to catch. Desiring you long enough to only reject you in the process so you crave his attention even more. He has you on an endless loop and he is in control.

While you’re caught up in the chase with just another face, you begin to realise you’re still in the same place. A place where your relationship goals aren’t being met. You can’t keep dating the same bad boys if you are wanting a commitment from a guy. You’re only setting yourself up for another devastating heartbreak. Meeting your love goals are further away than you can imagine.

Dating solely on physical gratifications won’t bring you the relationship of a lifetime. If you want fulfillment and joy, then you’re going to have to date a genuine guy who doesn’t treat you like an option. Finding fulfillment in love comes when you put yourself first. Here is how to make your love goals a reality.

1. Own your self-worth

When you own who you are and know what you deserve you will not accept anything less. Accepting less than you deserve for instant attention from a bad boy won’t give you the happiness you deeply desire and long for. Attention is short, respect lasts a lifetime.

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When you show a guy how much you value your worth, then he will step up and give you what you deserve. If he doesn’t, then you know he isn’t worth your time. A guy who is unable to see your worth will not have the emotional stamina to give you what you need to be fulfilled in a relationship. In order for a relationship to be healthy, both partners need to value and respect one another.

2. Adhere to your relationship values

Your relationship values are the qualities in a person you need to be met to feel happy in the relationship. Your values are a way to guide you to determine if the person you are dating is a good match or not. More than likely, your bad boy will not meet these values, as he isn’t ready for a mature relationship. He is still on an ego quest to prove himself to the world and will unlikely own up to his actions.

You can establish your top 5 relationship values by clarifying what you find to be desirable with a partner and must-haves for a healthy relationship. While sexual chemistry is important for a relationship, it is not a value. Examples of relationship values are trustworthiness, honesty, integrity, open communication, loyalty and a fulfilling relationship grows by meeting your relationship values.

When your needs are met with the guy you are dating, then you will find yourself dating with intent and integrity. Establishing alignment with your values and the kind of relationship you need will be key to your overall happiness and peaceful partnership.

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3. Commit to change

If you want a genuine relationship that meets your needs, then you’re going to have to commit to changing the types of guys you pursue. Cutting out the bad boys is the only way to make room for meeting a guy who can give you what you need. By not changing the type of guys you date, you will end up with the same unfulfilled relationship you had with the last Mr. Wrong.

Committing to yourself is the first step to reaching your love goals. You can do this by operating from your relationship values to attract the relationship you dream of. There are plenty of good guys out there who can give you what you need and whom you find physically attractive too. Seeking an adrenaline rush will only result in short-lived romances and heartache after heartache.

Relationships that last gradually build over time on a firm, consistent foundation of character and substance. When you hold a guy accountable according to your values, only then will you see a change in the type of relationships you engage in. A healthy relationship starts with the relationship you have with yourself.

Jillian and Jan are twin Relationship and Lifestyle Coaches who help singles attract love by uncovering the secrets of what the opposite sex desires. You can visit them at Entwined Lifestyle or Instagram for their latest word. And if they aren't at their desk, you can find them gallivanting outdoors or at a local bakery indulging on confections.

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