We all have our moments in relationships where you question the longevity of it. Where are you both going? Is this working? Are you compatible? Are you happy?
Sometimes it’s just a phase, however it could be time to call it a day. But how do you know when it is time to end your relationship? What signs make it apparent that you should transition to being single again? And how do you go about breaking the news to your partner?
Breaking up with someone is a big decision and it should never be done lightly. If you are having second thoughts about your current relationship, here are some things to question before you take the step into ending it.
You are not happy
Everyone deserves happiness in every aspect of their lives, especially their love life. If you are feeling down and the reason behind this seems to be more often than not down to your relationship, you need to take another look into whether this is the right relationship for you. If you are not happy, it’s likely your partner is feeling down too and I know I would not like to be the reason of someone else’s sadness. Have a serious conversation with your partner and find the root of your unhappiness. It could be something that is easily fixed once you have had a chat about it or it could be time to say goodbye to each other.
You are both in different places
You could both be doing everything right. Investing enough time and emotion into each other, making each other laugh and generally being supportive for one another. But love isn’t just about finding someone you work with. It is also about timing. If you are in different phases in your life, whether it be where you are in your career or what you want to achieve, or whether you want something serious or not in your love life, it could be time to end it before it develops further if you and your partner are on different life pages.
But don’t get down about it. It is nothing to do with you or your partner as individuals. It’s not that you are unlovable or you can’t make a relationship work. It’s just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You are both arguing
There is a lot of pressure that life throws at a relationship and arguments are inevitably going to happen. However, if arguments are happening very regularly, are over petty issues or are getting personal, this is not a healthy relationship. You can try to work through your problems by talking about how these arguments are making you feel and the effect they are having on you and your partner but if nothing changes, it is time to seriously think about ending it. After all, life is too short to spend most of it screaming and shouting at the person you are supposed to love more than anyone.
You think about other people
When you are in a relationship you should only have eyes for your partner. But if you find that your mind in wandering and you are thinking about other people in a sexual or intimate way regularly, you need to question why this is. Are you missing affection in your relationship that could come from your partner after talking about what you need from them? Or are you imagining being with someone else because your relationship has ran it’s course?
There is no excuse for cheating whilst in a relationship, and if you feel this is where it is headed if you keep having these thoughts, you owe it to your partner to reexamine your relationship before anyone gets hurt and these urges take it a step too far.
You’re not emotionally invested
It can feel like society sees being single as a negative thing, and you can be quick to jump from one relationship to the next just so you’re not on your own. If you are not ready for a relationship and not emotionally invested, you should take the time for yourself and be single. Otherwise it is not fair on yourself and it is most definitely not fair on the person you are with. They could really like you, develop strong feelings for you and end up getting hurt. If you are not balanced emotionally in yourself, you can not understand your emotions for someone else. So be an adult about it and make sure you are being your best self for the sake of you and your partner.
You see ending it as failing
The pressures you feel from friends and family about being in a committed relationship can stop you from ending something that doesn’t feel right. One of the scariest things in life is change and as humans we try our best to avoid it. But don’t see it as giving up and failing. See it as moving forward. If you try everything to make it work and it doesn’t, the right thing to do is to end it instead of staying in a toxic relationship that can never be fixed.
If you are reading these points and relating to them it is time to reevaluate the positives and negatives of your current relationship and if you come out with more negatives, then you need to have a serious chat with your partner. After all, communication and honesty is key in any relationship. It’s not a fun task, but it is only fair if your relationship is not going the way you thought it would. After talking through your issues, you and your partner could come up with some solutions to your relationship problems and make it stronger in the long run. Or it could make you realise it is not working and it is time to end your relationship. After all, it’s better to be single than in an unhappy relationship, for both parties involved.