I recently had to explain to a friend what the meaning is for “can’t see the forest for the trees.” It happens so often, doesn’t it? We become so engrossed in a situation that we don’t stop to consider very key details that make it clear what the situation is actually about. Much like the “can’t see the forest for the trees” expression, people who are dating often overlook important experiences that point out what the true nature of the relationship is and whether or not there is partner compatibility.
Relationships function best when two people are on the same page. While it is rare for couples to agree on everything, there are key lifestyle choices that couples should be in agreement about. Here are ways to figure out if you and your partner are a good match, or if you should burn a match to your relationship.
Dealing with money
While relationships make the world go round, they cannot just survive from good feelings and love alone. It is hard to function as a couple and operate a household together if there are limited funds available to keep the two of you going. Do you and your partner often argue about money? If so, you’re not alone. Money is a source of contention for many couples. The interesting thing about currency is that it is available for anyone to earn however they want to, and it is also very flexible, meaning that it can be spent multiple ways. But, what happens if you want to spend your money on something that your partner doesn’t value?
I recently read an online discussion thread on the Reddit website, and the thread was started by a woman who wanted advice because her husband’s credit card bill was charged five thousand dollars for his recent visit at a strip club. The woman felt betrayed because she was the main breadwinner and bill payer in their home due to her husband being unemployed. I don’t know about you, but a $5000 bill for a one night visit to a strip club with his two friends would be a huge reason for me conclude that my husband and I are not compatible. A charge for $500 for spending a couple of hours at a club is a lot of money in my view. A $5000 credit card charge for one night’s entertainment is astronomical. If your partner isn’t pulling his or her weight in the relationship, is taking advantage of you, and you are the only person who is investing in your relationship, then it’s time to consider jumping ship and forging out on your own.
Views on career goals
Your career goals are somewhat related to how each of you deal with money, because your career is the source that fuels your finances. Do you respect what your mate does to earn an income? Does your mate respect your career? What you do to earn your living provides more than a paycheque. Your job gives you a reason to wake up in the morning, strategies to form, and a way to utilize your strengths. A career gives many people a sense of purpose, but when two people don’t understand each others’ careers or don’t make any effort to understand them, a couple can mentally and emotionally drift away from each other.
Someone who I’d been involved with had made a few comments that my career is much easier than his because I mainly operate my business from home. He implied that his job working in a restaurant required more active effort than my job, and I disagreed. I certainly wasn’t thrilled with his comments, and I passionately pointed out to him more than once that each job contributes to society, including mine. No one likes being criticized for what they choose to do to earn a living. If you and your partner are constantly competing with each other about who has a more valuable career, then you will build resentment instead of building a close rapport.
Language barriers can often interfere with how two people interact with each other. You might speak the same language as your loved one, but you will have difficulties getting along if your love languages are different. Staying in love and keeping love alive requires an effort in listening and understanding your partner. If one of you in the relationship is very affectionate and the other person isn’t comfortable with showing outward signs of affection, then there are going to be problems.
Some people like to cuddle close to each other on the couch, while other people prefer spending time on their own without feel pressured to express their feelings. It is so important to be in agreement with your lover about how you spend your time together because someone who craves attention might not stay faithful to someone who isn’t lavishing them with praise and devotion. A more reserved person might feel annoyed and turned off by a partner who is clingy and constantly demanding attention.
Keep your eyes wide open in your relationship, and you will soon see whether or not you and your significant other have enough qualities and goals in common to sustain a healthy union. Don’t make the mistake of dismissing your differences, because those differences can’t always be overcome. The differences between you could drive the two of you further apart from each other after the honeymoon period is over. Ask yourself if you and your partner spend more time arguing with each other than you spend laughing together. When disagreements dominate a relationship, then that’s a clear sign that partner compatibility a problem. It can only be resolved with joint proactive measures to repair the relationship. If cohesiveness can’t be achieved, then the next step should be to end the relationship and move forward separately.