relationship advice

I truly appreciate the opportunity to benefit from the wisdom of other people. I live in a very diverse city where I can interact with people from all walks of life, and I enjoy asking people about their perspectives when it comes to relationships because let’s face it; relationships shape and influence every part of our lives. If you are unsure about whom to ask for relationship advice, here are some great ideas on who to approach.

The online community

Asking strangers on the Internet for relationship advice may or may not seem comforting to you, but there are plenty of good reasons to join discussion forum websites like Reddit. For one, you can be anonymous if you choose to conceal your true identity. If you are contemplating ending a marriage, or you have feelings for your brother-in-law and you’re not sure whether or not you should follow your heart, an anonymous Internet stranger will be more than happy to share their opinions and tell you what to do.

Typically, once a thread is started on a forum, other contributors are happy to chime in and share their opinions. It is good to get more than one viewpoint on a situation so that you can make more informed decisions. There is very little risk of your identity being uncovered from relationship advice forums, especially if you use a username that is completely unrelated to your actual name.

People who are at least a decade older

Age isn’t always an indication of ability, but I have found that people who have at least 10 years on me are people who can provide some good solid advice about love. Friends and acquaintances who are more than a decade older than you have been where you are and have seen the solutions to some of the relationship problems that you are trying to solve.  You will also benefit from being exposed to values that are most likely different to your values because the generations that we live in shape our interactions with others and our belief systems.

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I have a friend named Joyce who is in her 80s and she gives me great guidance on relationships. Joyce has been married, has lived through the death of her husband, and has interacted with many people in her life. I truly enjoy listening to Joyce share the details of what her life was like growing up in Scotland during World War II, moving to Canada with her husband in her 20s, and building a career and a life with her husband and relaunching her career years later as a widow. I value Joyce’s opinion very much, and although some of her values are different than my values, I feel that I benefit from her sharing her viewpoints on love.

Divorced men and women

I really don’t like when people try to exclude divorced people from people who they should approach about matters of the heart. Divorced men and women have experienced their fair share of heartbreak, and what is worse is that they did it with lawyers and courts involved in their personal affairs. I have a friend who is 19 years older than me, and she has been married and divorced twice. Some of my most informed conversations throughout the years have been with her because her life experiences have helped her to gain perspective and recognise when something is worthwhile pursuing and when it’s not.

I feel excited and motivated when I see people starting over. It doesn’t matter to me if a person is on their 3rd marriage, or if they had a string of former partners. There is something hopeful that burns within me when I find out that someone I know or know of is giving love another try in spite of their past disappointments. Life isn’t a fairy tale, but there are many people who try their best to overcome adversity and they won’t let past experiences jade them on finding their soulmates.

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Common-law couples

When two people stay together because they want to and not because they are afraid of the consequences of ending the relationship, those are people to seek advice from. I’m genuinely shocked by the amount of people who I meet who have learned to live in uncomfortable situations. You think that it’s just happening to you, but when you do a little investigating, you discover that you’re not alone in your situation.

As the owner of 3 dating websites and an independent Pure Romance business owner, I attract many people who are looking for someone to talk to discreetly about their relationship issues. Through these discussions, I have discovered that there are many people who are comfortable living in uncomfortable situations such as loveless marriages and non-mutual infidelity because they have grown accustomed to lackluster unions. Some people are too afraid of the financial and emotional consequences of ending a bad marriage, and they stay in a miserable situation instead of taking risks and changing the situation. Some common-law couples face the same issue that legally married couples face, but they typically have fewer financial consequences to splitting up, and they would be good people to talk to if you are debating whether or not to get legally married.

Make sure that the person who you talk to is someone who can be trusted to be discreet. The last thing you need is for someone to betray your confidence. I believe that we were all put on earth to learn from each other and to teach each other. While it is unrealistic for the person who you approach for advice to be a perfect person, he or she should be someone who has at least overcome their personal obstacles and strives each day to set positive examples. Try not to feel too discouraged about the problems you are experiencing; do your best to overcome them and form healthy relationships. There may be a day in the future when other people will be seeking your relationship advice, and when that happens, you will be equipped to help them as best as you can just as the advice of someone else helped you to make better decisions.

Akua is a Canadian born and raised girl with Caribbean roots. She is a journalist, actress, music teacher, performer, owner and marketer of 3 worldwide dating websites, as well as an independent Pure Romance business owner selling passion products for singles and couples.

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