I’m not going to write about this sugar-coating subject. Whether you’re buying or renting a place, you will encounter the moving-in challenges you never thought you would when you lived apart. You find out things about your other half that may surprise you. So here it is, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
You can’t hide the not-so-sexy things
When you first move in together, you want to keep the romance in your relationship alive and hide all of these things. Non-man-friendly products and granny pants will seem like the kinds of things that you will want to lock away in a guy-proof cupboard. The fact is that you can’t. Trust me when I say I tried! No matter how far back you push them, he will go through the cupboards to find his stuff. I mean, they are his cupboards too! If your relationship is good and mature enough, he’ll be completely fine with it all. I don’t mean walking around in your granny pants and waxing your legs on the dining room table but wearing a face mask. Go for it! At some point, he’ll see something you never thought he would, but he will still love you no matter what.
You will realize how much stuff you both own
Now, this is one thing that shocked me. How much stuff we both owned? It was a real eye-opener! My other half had come from having his own home, and I, from my parents, so there was a bit of a difference in the amount. Even I was shocked with how much I had managed to accumulate living at my Mum and Dad’s! There were clothes for clothes and enough kitchen items to sink a ship. For me, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to declutter. I really can’t recommend it enough. When you move in together, remember that over time, you will both collect even more stuff as a couple. So start on the right foot and give yourselves room to grow. Stay neat and tidy, and please buy some storage. You do it even if it’s plastic boxes under the bed or storage boxes for your attic. Just do it! It will help.
Try not to sweat the small stuff
He always puts the cushions on the wrong way on the bed. He squeezes the toothpaste at the top, not the bottom. His wet towel is left on the floor to “dry.” Who cares. Honestly. The small stuff is the stuff that doesn’t matter at the end of it all. You can always rearrange the cushions. You won’t self-combust if you must redo the toothpaste the way you like it. That wet towel? Leave it on the floor so it’s nice, cold, and wet when he comes to use it again. I’m only joking! But seriously, just hang it up. It takes two seconds of your time, and let’s face it, he’ll either learn one day or he won’t. I’m sure there are things you do that annoy him too! Make sure you keep an eye on all the important things in your life. These things aren’t deal breakers and are not worth fighting over.
Continue to grow as a couple
Remember you’re in a relationship still and not just roommates. Don’t fall into the trap of getting too comfortable and losing any spark and romance you once had. Plan date nights, go to the cinema and if you’re lucky like us, try out your local pub! No matter how long you’ve lived together, you must always put the effort in. Think of new ways to spice things up. Go get ready for your date that little bit earlier and slip into something sexy. It will give him a surprise and something to look forward to when you get back from dinner. You have to try and find new ways to create mystery when you have less privacy. Also, let each other have guys’ nights and girls’ nights. It is still so important to have your own life and to do your own things with your friends. You will both find a new appreciation for them and trust me, the other one will still be there when you get home.
The good, the bad, and the sickness bugs
You are going to get to know each other well. When you lived apart, you will have taken time away from each other when you weren’t well. You can’t do this now, no matter how hard you try! Part of being a good partner in a relationship is looking after the other when they’re not well. You do get used to it, I promise. They’ll be there to hold your hair when you’re throwing up, it’s all part of it. There’s also nowhere to run when you fight. Don’t go around slamming doors and making a meal out of it. All I can advise is to talk it out. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that it’s so much easier and less effort actually to sit and talk about it like adults. Work through things together. You are a team, you’re in this together! You’ve always got to love and respect the person you’re with and accommodate them and their feelings, and vice versa or it just won’t work.
I think a general thought is that nothing will change when you move in together, but it does. And so it should. If nothing changes, then I will worry! Even if it’s the smallest changes, such as feeling more love and trust, that say a lot about your relationship. Moving in together is such a big step. Enjoy it, work hard at it, and don’t lose sight of why you did it in the first place. You love each other.