husband material

When you first meet a guy and start dating, you have no idea where it will go. While dating with intention, you hope a guy is husband material, and your relationship leads to a happily ever after. Still, it can sometimes end up in a ditch because you didn’t know the guy very well, and you have to start all over again.

Luckily, you may have met a guy you have chemistry with who accepts you and loves you this time. Although he may not have all the qualities you are looking for in a guy, that does not mean he is not suitable for marriage. So let’s find out together before you jump in and say, “I do.”

1. He is honest

Honesty comes in many forms, from the brutally honest, telling that you gained weight, to the genuine honest, suggesting that the job is not suitable for you. But while dating and looking for your potential happily ever after, you want your boyfriend to be balanced somewhere in the middle.

You want a different kind of honesty from a husband material guy—the type of honesty that leads you to trust and not question his intentions or whereabouts. The type of honesty which allows him to leave his phone unlocked, and you have no desire to check his text messages.

His honest behavior tells you that he is a man to fall in love with and begin to think about marriage and a family.

2. He fights fair

You’ve probably been caught in the crossfire of a filthy fight at some point in your life, whether with a past boyfriend, a friend, or a family member. So when looking for your person to go from boyfriend to husband material, you want to be sure he fights fair.

No one wants to be committed long-term to someone who makes them feel bad, unloved, or even unwanted. So even while fighting, the guy you’d want to marry will make you feel safe sharing your feelings without interruption. He will allow you to express yourself and then have proper conflict resolution.

No one wants to be committed long-term to someone who makes them feel bad, unloved, or even unwanted. Click To Tweet

3. He is understanding

Ironically enough, understanding is often misunderstood. It takes cool second place to communication. While communication is a part of a successful relationship, understanding is its backbone. To communicate effectively, first, you must understand your partner, how they grew up, previous relationships, and past trauma.

Can your boyfriend understand where you are coming from or try to understand when you are sad, hurt, or angry? Then there is a good chance you will go from a man who is good boyfriend material to a man who is great husband material. When relationship status changes, that does not mean the person will change. Before you commit and build a family together, be aware that he will not be a good husband if he is not a good boyfriend.

4. He can communicate well

A stable man will communicate with you in a way you understand. He will be able to express himself, and you will not feel confused about how he feels, where your relationship is going, and what he wants for dinner.

Good communication on both sides is essential to a healthy relationship. If a man is a good communicator, he is good husband material.

The right partner will want to hear how you feel about certain things. He will want to know what upsets you or makes you laugh so he can move forward and try to either not hurt you or contribute to your happiness. A good communicator is also a great listener who is either on the same page as you or can get there.

woman communicating to a man

5. He is independent

An independent guy can cook and clean and knows why laundry is separated before washing. Husband material is a man who can help around the house and wants to help, not just expect the cooking, cleaning, and laundry to be done by the time he gets home. A good husband will be a good hands-on father and a solid family man.

An independent guy also knows how to make tough decisions, can speak up for himself, and can say no when necessary. An independent man may not need a wife, but he knows the value of having a good partner by his side and looks forward to building a family with a good woman.

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6. He is financially secure

Many people go through a period where their financial situation is not great, especially when they are just out of school and getting started in their careers. However, living in economic insecurity all the time is a tough place to be.

It is refreshing to meet a man who has their financial act together. Of course, no one is saying a guy should pay for everything. Still, it is a big reassurance of your future with a potential husband. A financially stable man will not be a burden for you, and he can take care of business if you need him to.

A financially secure man understands how to invest his money and when to pull out of an investment. He will also know where to draw the line on spending habits.

A potential husband will guide you with your finances in a way that helps you and will not make you feel bad for not knowing everything about it.

It is refreshing to meet a man who has their financial act together. Click To Tweet

7. He is emotionally mature

Being emotionally mature certainly helps a marriage to succeed. A good husband material will not shut down, tune you out, or walk away in the middle of a serious conversation.

An emotionally stable man will also share his good and bad feelings. He will be able to open up to you, talk about your relationship, and discuss where it is going. He will not play games with you, and his intentions will be clear.

8. He adds happiness to your life

Yes, you are happy on your own. And no, you don’t need anyone to make you happy. However, finding marriage material guy will add happiness, value, and joy to your life.

A guy who causes disruptions during your workday or nights out with your friends and can’t respect your alone time is the wrong man to be married to and not a great choice to have children with.

When a man respects your boundaries and makes you feel free in your relationship as a boyfriend, he will do the same after marriage.

A husband material won’t make you question how he feels about you. He won’t mislead you if he doesn’t intend to be on with you. Instead, he will cheer you up, ask how your day is going and let you be you. He will accept you for who you are naturally.

happy couple in the park

9. He is brave

Brave is good, but not in the way of “let me kill this spider” brave. Your life partner should be open about his feelings and intentions toward you. He won’t leave you wondering how he feels about building your future together.

A husband material guy is brave enough to say, “this upsets me, and I want to talk about it.” Brave enough to say he screwed up and wants to fix things with you. A brave man is a good partner and future husband because he can also be honest and feel comfortable being his true self.

A brave man knows that not everyone is perfect, and he can admit his mistakes. Therefore, a brave man will be strong enough to be brave for you and to stick with you no matter what.

10. He is dependable

As you date a guy who you may consider your future husband, you often look to see how dependable he is. If a man shows up when he says he will or takes your call as you are stuck on the side of the road, chances are he is a dependable man who will respect you and show you that you matter to him.

But suppose you sit back and observe him in his natural habitat, and you notice he is not there on time, cancels dates, and has had a few no-shows. In that case, you can easily see he is not dependable. That is not a quality anyone should forgo while looking for a long-term partner, especially when considering marriage.

Don’t settle for a man who does not respect you as his partner. A man is not a keeper if he instills any doubt or disappointment in you at any point in your relationship.

A man is not a keeper if he instills any doubt or disappointment in you at any point in your relationship. Click To Tweet

11. He is considerate

As humans, we all like to be taken care of, fed when we are hungry, given a drink when thirsty, and a blanket when cold. So if you are dating a guy who eats without asking you if you are hungry, hogs the covers in bed, or doesn’t think of you when you are sitting next to him, you know he is not considerate. Therefore he may not make a good husband.

A guy who wants to spend his life being married to you will think of you even when you are not around. This quality is a must-have when contemplating matrimony.

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If he is not a considerate boyfriend, he will not be in your marriage. Solid communication can help with this, and if things change for the better, you know he is someone worth investing in. If no changes are made, you may want to pass on this one.

12. He makes you a priority

Life gets busy. Between family, friends, jobs, and taking care of yourself, it can, at times, be challenging to make someone else a priority. But a husband material guy will find a way always to make you feel like you are important to him. For example, he may call more often, send a text, or even a picture of the two of you just to remind you that you are on his mind.

Yes, he may have a demanding career, and at times his job may come before you, even when married. In addition, illness in the family may also come before you. Still, a good husband material will never allow you to feel that you are unimportant to him, even if other things are more pressing at the time.

couple in love glamping

13. He helps you grow

When you are young, you are told to pursue good education to land a decent job. You get a good job to have a good life. As you build your future, you meet a person who shows you how much more you can grow in your career, yourself, and as a human.

He is capable of being with you or giving you alone time if you need it. When you meet this person who helps you grow and become a better version of yourself, he has many qualities that would make him a good life partner.

14. He is consistent

You hear it all the time: consistency is key. Whether you are losing weight, trying to have good grades in school, or even fighting for that job promotion, everyone else wants the same. To find success, you have to be consistent. The same goes for relationships.

To keep a person interested in you, you have to be consistent. When you meet a guy who constantly shows up for you, supports you, and helps you to set goals for your life, he is good husband material.

A consistent guy will be there for the good stuff and help you get through the tough times. He is not only a great guy, but he will also be a great life partner.

A consistent guy will be there for the good stuff and help you get through the tough times. Click To Tweet

15. He puts in the effort

Effort goes a long way. Putting in effort seems as if it can be easy, but in reality, it’s not. Especially as you juggle everyday life, you can sometimes forget to put in a reasonable effort.

Someone who puts in the effort, even just a little, shows you how important you are and wants to be with you. If a guy shows up, even when he’s tired or had a bad day at work, he loves you deeply, and he will make a great husband.

The effort needs to shine through on a regular Tuesday, and that could be a small love note or a filled gas tank. However, the effort should also be there after mistakes have been made. If he messes up and never shows you that he is sorry, you may want to reconsider building a future with him. It is better to wait long than to marry wrong.

16. He talks about marriage

It’s challenging to find a person even to admit they are in a relationship with you, never mind talk about marriage. Marriage is a word that sends most men running for the hills. So if your guy is talking about marriage even without being asked, he is genuinely interested in committing.

When these conversations come up, he sees you as his long-term partner. A man who can see a wife material in a woman will go out of his way to show her that he is worth her, and he sees marriage as the next step of the relationship.

engaged couple holding hands

17. He is not afraid of commitment

Along with marriage, commitment is another scary word for guys. Men fear losing their freedom, identity, and privacy when committing to a relationship. For some, a relationship may feel like it’s too much work. Sometimes, people will feel committed but not admit it out of fear of feeling trapped. When a guy is not afraid of commitment, he will tell everyone about you. You will see he is good marriage material.

He will talk about you whenever the chance presents itself and even when it doesn’t. When a man finds the woman he wants to marry, nothing will stop him from being in a committed relationship. He will be proud of his relationship.

A guy who is not afraid of commitment will welcome the conversations about your relationship. He will be transparent about his past and what he truly wants from you. He will not leave you wondering where this relationship is going.

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18. He is stable in his life

A man ready to be a husband will have a stable life. He will be entirely on his own, have a steady job, and work hard to provide for himself while single. Of course, he may not have an enormous house or a high-paying job, but he will be stable in his life.

Someone ready for real commitment will only want one woman in his life. One woman to talk to, enjoy spending his time with, and travel together. When a man has a stable life, his exes will all be in his rearview, not his DM’s.

Someone ready for real commitment will only want one woman in his life. Click To Tweet

19. He wants to be a husband

Some women want to get married so badly that they forget to see if the man they love wants to be a husband. When you give ultimatums, and a man is forced to choose, he might stay in the relationship. Still, he won’t necessarily be invested in it.

A guy who wants to get married will support your dreams, treat you well, and motivate you. So give it some time and let your boyfriend decide what he wants. Allow him to show you he wants to be your husband. A man who is ready for marriage will show it by bringing up marriage on his own accord.

20. You feel safe with him

Safety is one of the basic human needs. A good husband material will be physically protective of you and protective of your heart, mind, and overall well-being.

A man you feel safe with will sit next to you and let you vent about your bad day, evil boss, and your friends who let you down. He will make you a part of his world, even when that may be hard for him to do.

A perfect husband material will allow you to be yourself and guide you when he knows you may be in the wrong. He will do anything to make sure you are always OK. He will not hide how he feels about you. He will want your opinion on his life choices and introduce you to his parents.

woman resting head on mans lap

21. He takes time to get to know you

It takes time to get to know a person. You need to be patient for someone to be comfortable enough around you and open up about themselves. It can take years to figure out if you want to marry someone.

The longer you date before getting married, the lower your risk of divorce will be. If the man you are with has shown genuine interest in you and he is not rushing you, you may have found good husband material.

22. He genuinely cares about you

You know a man is suitable marriage material when he shows you he cares about you. Is he trying to get along with your family members? Does he give you emotional support? Then, you might have met the perfect partner for life.

A man who wants to settle down with you will be a problem solver, treat you with respect, and laugh with you as much as possible. Yes, he may get frustrated with you sometimes, but he will show that you mean the world to him.

You will be comfortable letting your man know what you need are and if your needs are not being met.

You know a man is suitable marriage material when he shows you he cares about you. Click To Tweet

23. He is trustworthy

Trustworthiness is one of the more important qualities to look for in a man. But how do you know a man is trustworthy?

He will show it to you without in his daily behavior. He will pick up the phone when you call him. He will have no problem telling you where he is going and who he is going with. He will invite you into his world and make room for you.

He will not freak out if you leave things at his house. Instead, he will embrace seeing your stuff in his home when you are not there.

A trustworthy guy will only have eyes on you, and everyone around you will see it. He will introduce you to everyone he may run into, showing how much you mean to him. If you have met a trustworthy man, he is marriage material, and you will have a safe future with him.

A trustworthy man will never have you confused or feeling neglected. Of course, he may not always succeed at putting you first, but you will see his effort.

A man ready for marriage will do what he can to show you that he values you. You may not tick every item off this list, but if a guy is marriage material, you will feel that you are the only woman he wants to be with.

Kelly is a certified Relationship and Dating Coach and the founder of Be Brave Coaching. After being a toxic wife and then suffering herself at the hands of an abuser, Kelly found herself in a recovery program where she recovered from codependency, anger, and control issues. Years later, she released her first book 'Signs in the Rearview Mirror Leaving a Toxic Relationship Behind' which is her story of leaving toxic relationships with her mother, her ex, and herself behind.

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