Picture the scene: your phone has just buzzed with a notification. You check it to see that you have a new match on Tinder—and she’s hot! Plenty of thoughts will probably be going through your head at this point, like, “OMG, I have to talk to her!” “Damn, how can I impress a girl this gorgeous?” and “what if I scare her off?” Not knowing what the best Tinder openers are can cause you a lot of stress.

When I started using Tinder, I had no idea how to make the most of it. I could barely hold a conversation—let alone get a date. I was sending dozens of messages a day but barely receiving any replies. I decided to try out different approaches and different opening lines. I soon worked out which openers got guaranteed responses and which ones didn’t. I decided to write this guide to share the lessons that I learned the hard way. Here are some of the most effective Tinder openers tried and tested by me.

Use humor

They say that if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything you want. This might be an exaggeration, but humor is undoubtedly a significant part of attraction for most women. Cracking old jokes one after another is likely to annoy her. Still, a funny (and a little dirty if you prefer that way) pick-up line is a great way to spark a conversation, and these openers for Tinder are great examples.

Do you like Titanic? *Her response* I think it’s a good icebreaker.

Depending on the girl and her response, this can be followed up with a joke about “going down.”

So, does this mean we’re dating now?

Funny Tinder openers that are also flirty can be great, and this one is simple, playful, and effective.

Damn girl, you’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop!

Complimentary without being overly serious is an excellent combination for a Tinder opener.

Are you a loan? Because you’re gaining my interest.

Sometimes the simplest pick-up lines are the most effective.

Hey, I would like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

If she responds, “I don’t have LinkedIn,” you can ask for her phone number instead. Either way, it’s an in.

Hey, I was wondering if you could help me. I lost my phone, please could you text me on *your number* to see if anyone has found it?

Of course, she knows you haven’t really lost your phone as you’re using Tinder! If she’s interested, she might still give you the digits or at least start a conversation.

Spark her curiosity

Picture the scene: you are an attractive girl who has just opened Tinder to see hundreds of messages from thirsty guys. There aren’t enough hours in the day for you to respond to every single one, so the boring ones are going to get filtered out quickly. Don’t make the same Tinder mistakes that other guys do! Chances are, girls are much more likely to respond to messages that make them curious to find out more, such as these Tinder opening lines.

OMG, I can’t believe this! I wonder if you remember…

This opening line can instantly get her attention. She’ll think you’ve met her before, but you can follow this up with a joke or flirty line.

Hey *name*, do you know what’s so interesting about your pictures?

She will probably be dying to know more, which gives you an excellent opportunity to follow things up with a compliment.

You really remind me of someone…

If she replies, “who is that?” you can follow this opening line with the name of a beautiful actress or model.

You won’t believe what I just saw today!

She may think that this one is just the opening to a pick-up line, but she’ll probably want to find out either way. You can reply with “a beautiful girl called *her name*.”

Hey *name*, can you keep a secret?

This is one of the most effective Tinder opening lines at getting a quick response.

Offer her choices

Do you think a girl is more likely to reply to A: a simple “Hi”, B: a recycled joke she has heard before, C: an explicit image, or D: a multiple-choice question that gives her the chance to talk about herself? These questions are great for getting an answer from your new match and developing into a conversation.

Hey, *name*, Truth or Dare?

This is a great chance to either follow up with one of your best pick-up lines or dare her to give you her phone number.

Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or just one horse-sized duck?

A classic dilemma, the wackiness of this Tinder opener can work a lot of the time.

Hey *name*, how would you rather spend the perfect Sunday—a hike outside in nature, cocktails at a bar, or lying on the couch binge-watching Netflix?”

Not only does her answer tell you a lot about her to start a conversation, but it also gives you date ideas if the two of you hit it off!

Heading to the store, you want anything?

This line is a little off-the-wall, but her reply can tell you what kind of person she is. Plus, if you live close to her, you can actually set up a meeting at short notice this way.

Would you rather have A: a nice date over coffee, B: intelligent and meaningful conversations, or C: Multiple mind-blowing O’s?

If she answers “all of the above,” you can say, “oh, so you want D?”

Pay her a compliment

People like those who make them feel good about themselves. Paying a girl a compliment is a great way to endear her to you. However, a generic compliment is unlikely to stand out. Compliments that are too forward or too intense may get results, but likely not the ones you want. These pick-up lines can strike precisely the right balance.

Hey, I know this is a fake profile, but I was just wondering if you could let me know the name of the model in the pictures?

She knows you don’t really think her profile is fake, but this is one of the best Tinder opening messages. It is funny, unconventional, and flattering all at once.

Damn girl, let me know your skincare routine!

Not only is this a way of telling her she has good skin (which every girl wants to hear), it also gives her the chance to talk about herself.

You look like someone who knows how to have a good time!

This is one of the classic flirty Tinder openers, suggestive enough to work without being too forward.

Wow, you look so good that you made me forget my pick-up line.

What could be more complimentary than implying that her beauty made you forget the words?

I love your style!

Most girls on Tinder get plenty of compliments about their looks. Focusing on her choices, such as her makeup and outfits, shows that you like how she expresses her personality visually.

You have great taste in music! Would love to run into you at a show one day.

If her selected Tinder Anthems impress you, let her know. Shared taste in music, or any other interests that may be reflected in her bio or pictures, is always a great conversation starter.

Invite her to talk about herself

Most of us love to talk about ourselves, even if we would deny it. When people are listened to, it makes them think more positively of the listener, which is true on Tinder and in real life. Not to mention, there are plenty of annoying guys on dating apps who aren’t interested in listening at all. These good Tinder openers can make you stand out from the rest of the pack.

Hey, *name*, what’s the most exciting thing that happened to you today?

A lot of the time, nothing that interesting will have happened to her. However, this still gives her the chance to vent, and you can show how much of a good listener you are.

So, what’s the best pick-up line you’ve heard on this app?

This one essentially turns things around, so she gets to try pick-up lines on you! Plus, if the conversation dies, she still gave you ideas for other good opening lines for Tinder.

If you could tell me just one thing about yourself to really impress me, what would it be?

Whether she responds seriously or uses humor, this one can work to put the ball in her court first.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose?

This is an excellent opener on Tinder if her profile shows she enjoys traveling. If she’s keen on a hookup, she might even reply, “in your bedroom!”

Tell me two facts and a lie about you, and I have to guess which is which…

The “two truths and a lie” game is a classic icebreaker for a reason. Any list of good Tinder openers for guys would be incomplete without it.

You look like the kind of girl whose favorite movie is The Notebook. Am I right?

You can adapt the specific movie based on what you think matches her appearance and vibe. Whether you’re right or wrong, it gives her an opportunity to talk about her favorite movies.

What to avoid doing on Tinder

Every girl is different and has different preferences. However, there are some things that you should never do as a general rule when considering how to open a Tinder conversation. Below is a list of things that you should avoid at all costs if you want to succeed on Tinder or other dating apps.

Don’t be boring

Of course, being boring is never a good way to attract anybody. The question is; what constitutes “boring”? The answer to this will vary depending on who you ask, but there are some things that most girls will find dull. Talking about generic, surface-level topics such as the weather is unlikely to catch anyone’s interest. Going into extreme detail on specific topics that a girl hasn’t shown interest in is also to be avoided. You should aim to strike a middle ground and try to talk about something you can see from her profile she is into.

Don’t insult her

While teasing is often effective, this can also be taken too far. If you are insulting a girl, even unintentionally, you can expect to be unmatched pretty quickly. Sometimes the line between teasing and insulting can be fine, but as a general rule, play it safe with topics when you do not know her that well. Once you know her and her sense of humor more, avoid topics that you know she is insecure about.

Don’t be too forward too quickly

Being too “forward” too quickly can be a massive turn-off for girls or even cause offense. Guys who are too forward on Tinder usually do so in two ways—they are either too romantic or too explicit too fast. The first type of guy can scare girls off by professing his adoration of her too soon. The second type of guy can offend her by asking her to sleep with him, asking suggestive questions, or making inappropriate compliments before having a proper conversation. Whether you are looking for your future wife or just a hookup, you should gradually build up to the point.

Don’t send unsolicited nudes

One typical example of being too forward with a girl on Tinder is sending unsolicited nudes or other explicit images. Not only can this annoy or upset her, but it is also illegal in many parts of the world! As a general rule, don’t send her nude or anything explicit unless you have clear confirmation that she wants you to do so. Communication is key!

Don’t pretend to be someone you are not

The term “catfishing” refers to the process of luring someone into a relationship using the fake profile information, such as a fake photo or name, to deceive people on dating sites and apps such as Tinder. Lying about your identity is not only disrespectful to the people that you are talking to, but it is also pointless. Just think, what is this girl going to do once she finds out you are not who you are pretending to be? Ultimately, there is no reason to be a catfish.

When it comes to Tinder opening lines for guys, the truth is that even the very best openers are not going to work every time. The fact is that most girls on Tinder get a lot of matches and messages from guys, especially if they are attractive. It means that they are not likely to be unable to find time to respond to all of them even if they wanted to.

Although there is no perfect strategy to get every girl you want, you can increase your chances by trying out some of these Tinder openers. The most important thing to remember is not to take Tinder too seriously or too personally if you don’t get a response. Not only are you competing with lots of other guys, but you are also competing with other distractions. Generally speaking, the trick to Tinder’s success is to send the best openers, send plenty of them, and don’t get hung up on just one girl. Tinder is mostly a numbers game, so you will likely be successful if you follow these tips and keep practicing.