how to keep a conversation going with a girl

Although talking to others is a part of everyday life, it can get tricky if you are nervous. This is even more true when chatting with a girl you are attracted to. Nerves can get in the way, and you may feel like you’ve entirely run out of things to say! If you wonder how to keep a conversation going with a girl you like, this list of ideas will come to the rescue.

1. Ask her about her day

You will often hear the blanket advice of “ask questions” when it comes to making conversation. There is undoubtedly some truth in this, as everybody loves to talk about themselves and like people who listen to them.

However, too many questions can make a conversation feel like a job interview or an interrogation. Therefore, some questions are usually best avoided (more on this later.) A reliable question to ask a girl is how her day was. This is an excellent way to start a conversation or to revive a floundering one.

2. Tell her something interesting that happened to you

Although you should allow a girl to talk about herself, she will probably want to learn about your life if she is interested in you. You don’t have to dive in with the deep stuff too soon—you can start out by talking about interesting things that happened to you throughout the day.

If you got into some funny, strange, or thought-provoking situations, this could be a great conversation starter.

3. Send her pictures of exciting things you see

Text conversations can offer opportunities to bring “dead” topics back to life that face-to-face chats don’t have. On top of that, you can send pictures to people who you are not currently around at the time.

Telling a girl about a funny thing you saw can be great, but a photo of it is even better. After all, they say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

4. Compliment her photos

Most girls love to receive compliments. If she has posted a selfie or a photo of herself on social media, don’t miss the opportunity to compliment it. If a girl has sent the picture directly to you, she will appreciate a compliment even more!

When giving compliments, remember two things: be honest, and don’t be too sexual. If you don’t know a girl that well, you should definitely lean towards innocent compliments. When you’ve been flirting with each other for a while, you may be able to gradually move towards sexual compliments, but only if she responds positively.

5. Don’t make assumptions about her

young woman with sunglasses

Nobody likes assumptions to be made about them, even if they turn out to be true. If you jump to a conclusion about a girl because of how she looks or how she acts, it is usually best to keep it to yourself.

Every person is different, so you just can’t reduce them to stereotypes. And even if your beliefs are correct, a girl will probably like you more if you don’t act as a psychic. So instead of making assumptions, why not try to get to know her?

6. Don’t be afraid of pauses

When you try to keep the conversation flowing, awkward silences may seem to be your biggest enemy. However, pauses are not necessarily bad. It is completely natural for a conversation to ebb and flow. People need time to think about things sometimes.

In fact, one of the worst things that you can do is keep talking just for the sake of talking and not give a girl any time to herself. You want her to miss you at least a little bit, and she can’t do that if you are constantly talking her ear off or blowing up her phone with messages. So don’t overstay your welcome.

7. Don’t repeat yourself

Even if you have the funniest things to tell and the most hilarious anecdotes, don’t keep returning to the same stories over and over again. You will end up becoming predictable, and too much predictability can kill attraction.

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If you want to get a girl interested in you, you need to offer something new each time you have a conversation. Don’t be like a broken record!

8. Keep things light most of the time

When starting a conversation, always keep things light. Don’t dive straight into asking a girl about heavy topics that may be emotionally draining or tiring to talk about. At the start, light-hearted fun is usually the best approach.

However, don’t think that “light” has to mean boring. If you can strike a balance between unique and tedious, you will most likely catch the girl’s interest. If you wonder what conversation topics to choose to reflect this, keep reading this guide for suggestions.

9. Don’t be afraid to talk about deep topics

You may be thinking, “Wait, what? That’s the exact opposite of the last tip!” However, deeper conversation topics can be more interesting to girls—you just need to choose the right time and place for them.

People who know how to have a great conversation understand that a balance between small talk and deep, meaningful discussion is essential in connecting with somebody.

10. Pay attention to her body language

young couple looking at each other smiling

Body language is essential in face-to-face communication. It can give you an idea of how interested a girl is in starting a conversation with you and whether she wants to keep the conversation going or not.

For example, signs such as angling her body towards you and making eye contact may indicate interest, while folding her arms or avoiding eye contact mean the opposite. If a girl touches your arm or looks at your lips, it can even show romantic interest in you.

11. Use emojis when texting

Of course, when you chat with a girl over text, you won’t be able to use body language cues to read from. This is where emojis and GIFs come in—a girl who uses lots of these is likely to be interested in the conversation (unless, of course, they are always negative emojis).

You can also drop some emojis into your messages to turn the conversation slightly more playful and avoid it looking too formal. But like with everything, don’t overdo it.

12. Ask her opinion

Asking personal questions can be a very effective way to keep a conversation going with a girl. If you aren’t sure what kind of questions to ask, why not ask her about her views on something that interests you? While you can ask her opinions on heavier topics such as religion or politics, it is usually best to start a little lighter.

Asking a girl what she thinks of certain movies, types of music, or food is often a reliable tactic. Open-ended questions are usually better than simple “yes or no” questions. For example, instead of saying, “Do you like rock music?”, ask her, “What kinds of music do you like?”

13. Use her name in conversation

One simple trick to make a girl like you is to use her name when speaking to her. Research confirmed that hearing our name makes us feel more positively toward the person we are talking to.

However, don’t overdo it. Using the girl’s name in every sentence is likely to come across as unnatural and strange. If you don’t know her name (for example, if you have met her for the first time out in public), the best thing is to ask her what it is as soon as possible.

14. Don’t be rude or disrespectful

Being rude or disrespectful is a way to instantly kill a girl’s desire to keep a conversation going with you. So don’t criticize her, objectify her, or ignore her boundaries.

Knowing what a girl is likely to find rude or disrespectful is something you can work out as you get to know her better. This is why it is crucial to start a conversation light and avoid potentially controversial topics or statements.

15. Don’t brag about yourself

young couple sitting on a curb chatting

Let’s be honest; when you talk to a girl you are interested in, you want to impress her. This is completely natural. However, make sure that you don’t take it too far.

Bragging is a sure way to make you seem to cross the line from being confident to arrogant. So whether you are bragging about your appearance, achievements, personality, or anything else, you are likely to turn a girl off.

16. Tell jokes (but not too many)

Another way that guys often try to impress girls is by telling jokes. Making a girl laugh is a good thing, and most women find a good sense of humor attractive in a guy. Well-timed and well-chosen jokes can really make a girl want to keep the conversation going.

However, telling a string of jokes one after the other can come across as desperate and unnatural. This is another area where moderation is key. You will get to know the girl’s sense of humor over time, but you should avoid jokes that are mean, hurtful, or discriminatory at all times.

17. Don’t tell lies

Telling little white lies can seem like an easy way to impress a girl or hide your less appealing traits or insecurities. However, this can actually cause you a lot of problems in the long run. They say that a man who always tells the truth never has to remember what he has said.

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Most of the time, the truth comes out in the end, and when it does, you are likely to find that her trust in you has been damaged. However, telling the truth doesn’t mean telling a girl your whole life story. You have the right to have your own boundaries and avoid topics you aren’t comfortable discussing.

18. Talk about shared interests

Once you have found out what her personal interests are, talking about these is often a great way to relate. Getting to know a girl in this way is always fun. Even if you don’t win her over as a potential date, you still get to have a fun conversation about something you are interested in.

When you share an interest, avoid simply listing facts about it. Instead, make sure that you focus on why you both like it, which can build a connection. Again, open-ended questions are helpful here—ask the girl about her favorite band, movie, or hobby and how it makes her feel.

19. Be open to learning new things

You found a common interest that you both a passionate about? That’s a great start! However, make sure you don’t talk about the same thing all the time. Being interested in a variety of topics makes you seem like a well-rounded and interesting person.

Besides, you might learn something new from a girl or be introduced to new things you never knew you would love. In fact, I discovered some of my favorite movies and bands from conversations with girls from Tinder. So be open to learning and discoveries.

20. Don’t belittle her

confident guy

If you want a girl to hate you, belittling her will undoubtedly achieve this. You may think this may grab her attention or make you look cool, but in fact, this is one of the worst things you can do when you try to keep a conversation going.

Examples of belittling someone include playing down her achievements, trying to “one-up” her, or talking negatively about her. Avoid these at all costs if you want a girl to like you and to respect you.

21. Don’t patronize her

While being patronizing isn’t quite as bad as being directly rude or belittling someone, it is usually a massive turn-off for a girl. For some reason, many guys assume that girls are uninformed on particular topics—don’t fall into this trap.

An excellent way to get her to feel respected is to treat her as an intelligent person. She is likely to appreciate this. If a girl does ask questions about a topic, this is a natural way to keep the conversation going.

22. Avoid topics she does not want to talk about

When you wonder how to keep a conversation going with a girl, it is even more important to know what not to talk about. Each person has their own sensitive topics that they don’t wish to discuss, especially with people they hardly know.

You can’t be expected to read people’s minds and know beforehand what they don’t like discussing. However, you can learn this over time. If you bring up a topic and a girl looks uncomfortable, tries to change the subject, or even tells you directly that she doesn’t want to talk about it, you should change lanes.

23. Pick up on hints

Look out for signs of what a girl wants to talk about. If she asks you a question about something, she is probably interested in that subject, and she wants to talk about it with you.

Other signs that a girl wants to continue with a topic include her body language becoming more positive. For example, do her eyes light up when you mention something? Then you are probably going in the right direction and should stay in this lane.

24. Don’t interrupt her or talk over her

One of the worst things you can do when talking to somebody is talking over them or interrupting them. This usually comes across as very rude and disrespectful.

Sometimes you may find yourself doing this just because you get carried away talking about a topic—this is common when a conversation is stimulating. However, if you catch yourself doing this, then causally apologize, and let the girl carry on speaking. People tend to forgive this quickly when you say sorry.

25. Be flexible in conversation topics

guy having a conversation going with a girl

Make sure you stay open-minded to new conversation topics. If a girl wants to talk about something you are not particularly interested in, you should still listen. You may even end up gaining an appreciation for it.

Remember, the most exciting conversations are often the most unpredictable. So you don’t have to stick to a script of topics.

26. React to what she says

One of the best ways to be a great conversationalist is to be emotionally engaged in what the other person is saying. Make this clear when you are having a conversation with a girl. You can ask many questions and be respectful, but if you are emotionally detached, you probably won’t build a connection with her.

For example, if she tells you bad news, make it clear that you empathize with her. On the other hand, if she is excited about something, react to her excitement as much as you can.

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27. Laugh at her jokes

Girls like to giggle at guys’ banter, but they love to share jokes with you too. So one thing that you can do to instantly endear yourself to a girl is to laugh at her gags when she tells them.

Even if her jokes are incredibly cheesy, you can still find humor in them. In fact, you can take this as an opportunity to playfully flirt with her (e.g., “that was the worst joke I’ve ever heard”).

28. Let her know you like her personality

As well as compliments on a girl’s appearance, it is vital to let her know that you like her personality. Many guys are very focused on looks. Therefore, girls often receive many more compliments on their appearance than on their inner qualities.

If you think a girl is funny, kind, interesting, or notice any other positive personality trait, make sure you let her know that. This is one o the absolute best ways to endear you to her and make her want to keep a conversation going with you.

29. Don’t hide your interest in her

If you have managed to keep a conversation going for a while or have been chatting with the girl repeatedly, make sure she knows that you are interested in her.

While you shouldn’t imply that the only reason a girl wants to talk to you is that she is attracted to you, you should be honest that you like her in a romantic way. This will help to avoid miscommunication and allow her to consider her level of interest in you.

30. Show her the real you

guy playing guitar to a girl

We’ve all heard the cliché advice of “just be yourself” a million times. However, there is definitely some truth in it. While it is normal (and can even be good) to downplay your flaws, this doesn’t mean hiding them all.

Being your natural, authentic self is the best way to increase your chances of a happy relationship. You can’t pretend to be someone else forever, and even if you tried, it would be very tiring in the long run.

31. Mirror her energy

If you really want to know how to keep a conversation going with a girl, try mirroring her energy. The best conversations are those where each person has equal enthusiasm, so try to talk as often as she does about the same topics and with the same level of interest. When there is a connection with a girl, this can be a wonderful experience.

32. Give her space when she needs it

Sometimes people just aren’t in the mood to talk, which isn’t necessarily a reflection of you or how a girl feels about you. She may be tired from work, or there may be a million other reasons in life.

If this is the case, it’s not the end of the world. Give a girl space if she needs it, even if you really want to know what’s wrong and help her. Being respectful only increases the chances of her wanting to talk to you again.

33. Try to arrange future conversations

You probably don’t want to have just one conversation with a girl you are interested in, even if it’s a really long and interesting one. At some point, you will want to arrange future conversations with her. This could mean asking a girl on a date if this is your goal.

If you want to get to know a girl without pressure, you can mention that you would like to chat with her again and simply exchange your phone numbers or connect on social media.

34. End conversation on a high

Of course, every conversation will end at some point—that is just an inevitable fact. This isn’t a bad thing. When it is time for both of you to get going, make sure that you finish on a positive note so that the girl wants to talk again.

If you have anything negative to say, this is not the time to do so. One of the most critical factors in a good conversation is the way that it ends. Before saying “see you next time,” make sure that her most recent memory of you was a good one if you want to be a next time at all.

35. Enjoy the process

It is easy to think of conversations with a girl you are interested in as just a process to complete. Naturally, you want to impress her and get her interested in you. First, however, you need to make sure that you enjoy talking to a girl—if you’re just trying to get something from her, she will probably pick up on this.

Remember that getting to know a girl is part of the fun of developing a relationship anyway. After all, if you don’t enjoy chatting with her, she isn’t the right person for you.

If you follow these tips, you will likely notice your conversations with girls improving and their interest in you increasing. However, remember that not every tip is going to work with every girl. A hundred percent success rate is impossible—not even the best conversationalists achieve this! So if a conversation dies despite you trying your best, don’t beat yourself up over it. There are plenty of girls to talk to, and one is bound to enjoy talking to you.

Andy is a storyteller who loves good books and good jokes. In the rare moments he isn't writing, you can find him jogging in the park or perfecting barbeque ribs.

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