why am I still single

No matter how many dating sites you join and how many friends you ask to hook you up with someone new, it seems like nothing is working out for you. There are many reasons why relationships work out and why they don’t. You know that old saying: you can lead a horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink. Perhaps you are single because you do not want to focus on a relationship at the moment?

If you’ve been asking yourself “Why am I still single?”, there is a reason for that. Do you know what that reason is?

You resist making changes

Bringing a new relationship into your life is going to require making some important changes. When you are dating someone, it is not just yourself that you need to think about anymore. You will also need to consider someone else’s feelings besides your own. How you spend your time is going to have to change when you form a new partnership. Even though you might prefer to relax on your couch and watch a movie on a rainy Saturday night, your new guy might want to take you out bowling instead. Do you feel that it is worth your time and energy to change your habits?

If you are resistant to making changes to your daily routine, being in a relationship will be a huge adjustment for you. In addition to living your life and taking care of yourself, you will also need to carve out space and time in your day to reassure your partner that he is a top priority in your life as well. In your heart and in your mind, you know all of this. If you are not ready to be someone else’s support system, it could be a reason why you are unattached at the moment.

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The right person is not available

Some people hold onto the memories of someone who they had been involved with from the past. For whatever reason, they cannot seem to let go of the past. Does that sound like you? If you are clinging to the hope that you will reunite with your former flame, it is clear that your focus is not on building a connection with someone new.

This might be a good time to question your reasons to holding on to someone who is obviously not part of your life anymore. When someone truly wants to be part of your life, they will be part of it. You will not need to convince them to spend time with you. The past is gone, and hoping that the past will come back is not changing your situation. If you want to resolve your single status, you will need to let go of something that is no longer serving you. Those fantasies that your ex will pop back into your life and carry on with you as if nothing changed are probably not going to come true. You are better off carving a new path for yourself.

You do not know where to look

Simplicity may be boring, but it does have some advantages! For example, before the 21st century, dating was a bit simpler. Couples were often matched through mutual acquaintances and they did not have as many things to consider when finding a mate. Flash forward to today, and there are multiple ways to find someone new. There are hundreds of dating websites on the market that single people can join, and there are many other ways to meet people.

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With so many choices to consider, it can be hard to know what the best way is to meet a mate. It can also be difficult to figure out who the right person is when there are many possibilities. If you are unsure about the best way to change your single status, talking with a dating coach to generate some ideas is a good way to create an action plan.

You enjoy your solitude

After witnessing some not-so-satisfying relationships in your lifetime, you are happy to take a pass on committing to someone who you are doubtful you would want to share your favourite meal with, let alone sharing their last name. Skepticism has been your best friend, and your cautious attitude has protected you from getting involved in scenarios that you suspected were not worth your time.

Besides, you enjoy being alone. You like having the time to focus on your ambitions.  Even if that ambition is watching a classic movie while eating a bowl of ice cream, you do not feel that you should have to account for your habits to anyone. Being single gives you time to just be yourself, and you like that very much.

Your single phase really depends upon what you want. If you do not want to be single anymore, then you will make all of the necessary changes to your life to welcome in someone new. Building a new relationship is like building a career; it needs consistent focus and dedication. If being single appeals to you, then there is nothing wrong with stretching your season of singleness a little bit longer. If, on the other hand, you want your single status to change, you would greatly benefit from doing some soul searching and consulting with a dating coach. Step out of your comfort zone and try something new because your new adventure could lead you to the new special person who will be part of your life.

Akua is a Canadian born and raised girl with Caribbean roots. She is a journalist, actress, music teacher, performer, owner and marketer of 3 worldwide dating websites, as well as an independent Pure Romance business owner selling passion products for singles and couples.

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