What’s the number one thing that ruins a relationship? You’re probably ready to say, “having an affair!” But that’s a given. Aside from bed-hopping, bad texting etiquette can destroy a relationship irrevocably. So how to text a guy you are dating?
I can’t imagine the guy who invented texting worried that he was basically inviting more stress into the world than even God Himself could manage. But you know what? That’s precisely what he did. Gosh darn you, texting-inventor man! *shakes cell phone at him*
Look, things change when you start dating someone. The chase is pretty much over. He’s yours. You feel more comfortable around him and can say things you’d never have imagined saying before you hooked up. However, one of the things that doesn’t change is texting etiquette.
There are still rules, and breaking them could ruin the good thing you’ve got going here. To help you out, let’s take a closer look at how to text a guy you are dating.
Texting means something different to him
Girls prefer to call guys much more than guys prefer to text girls. Is it because girls are more emotionally involved in a relationship? Is it because guys are on lockdown during the NBA playoffs (no, I have no idea what I just said)? I’m not sure.
But now that you guys are an item, don’t take it as a given that, instead of just texting him something, you can call him instead. Sure, you’re dating him. But that doesn’t mean that he’s available on tap. Nor should he feel like he has to be available on tap.
Try to keep phone calls to only the really important stuff. If you want to call him up to talk about tonight’s dinner, even though you know he’s at the sports game, just text him. If he doesn’t answer, it will only make you feel bad, and if you keep calling and leaving messages, it might annoy him.
Good texting etiquette is about keeping things short and simple. By keeping most of the stuff in texts, you’re letting him reply when he’s good and ready. Which is just perfect.
Don’t play hard to get
You’re dating the guy, so why make his life even tougher than it might already be? If the guy is emotionally mature, he isn’t going to respond kindly to a girl who is clearly purposefully being distant so that she doesn’t come across as too keen. Does he have the energy to keep chasing you? I’m not so sure.
If you know you can’t respond to a text right away, leave it until a more appropriate time. If you can respond to a text right away, why wouldn’t you? It makes no sense to leave him hanging.
Talk about your likes and dislikes
Maybe there was something you wanted to say to him before you guys dated about the way he would text you while at work but didn’t want to in case he took it badly. Well, now is the time to tell him what you like about texting, and what you don’t like.
If you have boundaries, set them. Communicate your needs. Let him know that you can’t reply while you’re working, or that you don’t have the time to write out lengthy texts in reply to his. This is just basic etiquette that prevents problems arising in the future. It’ll end any possible confusion, and hey, if he takes it badly and ghosts you, that’s his problem.
Text in the morning and at night
Now that you’re dating, I think it’s important that you make him aware that you’re thinking about him first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
You don’t have to go overboard (and it’s best that you don’t), but just sending him a simple “Good morning you! sleep well last night?” text is enough to put a smile on his face and remind him that you like him and want to be the first person who he sees when he wakes up.
You don’t need to text too much during the day, especially if you’re both busy. But bookend the day with your texts – it’s a nice, sweet gesture.
Don’t be persistent
So he hasn’t replied for a few hours? “Will he text me again?” is a question that starts spinning in your head. Okay, maybe he’s made a Facebook status in the meantime and clearly isn’t dead. What gives?
Sure, it’s spectacularly frustrating when a guy doesn’t reply for hours on end to a simple text message. But there may be many reasons for it. I think the best way to manage such a situation is not to lose your cool and ask why he is ignoring you, but to wait until the next day before communicating your thoughts on this. Maybe he just isn’t big on texting. Ask him and find out.