Most of the healthy relationships that I’ve observed have one common denominator — trust. If you tend to mislead or lie to your guy about things, your relationship is in danger and you need to take action before it gets destroyed.
My goal is to save relationships, so that you will be happier with your love life. Here are seven reasons why mistreating a guy might destroy relationship. Improve, and avoid these mistakes that may lead to disaster.
1. Deceiving him
Deception can lead to suspicion in a relationship. Maybe you’re going out with your girlfriend way too often, or maybe you’ve been caught texting your new male colleague from work that you’re getting warm and cozy with. You can blame your guy all you want for being suspicious, insecure, or accusatory, but if you’re deceiving him and lying to him about a number of things, this will not get you far. You may want to take a deep breath and realise that your behaviour is causing his insecurity, and you’re not being loyal to him. It’s easy to get complacent after you’re comfortable in your relationship, and you may not realise how much your deception is hurting him and your relationship, or how important to you your relationship really is.
2. Disrespecting and belittling him
You should never insult or belittle the one that you love as respect is the foundation of lasting relationship. Even if you’re having a nasty argument, there is no need to be verbally abusive with him. You will want to refrain from this behaviour, because he will inevitably leave you so that you can disrespect your next guy. If he’s smart, he will no longer be your punching bag.
3. Not taking his feelings seriously
When he’s being upset or emotional, do you show him empathy and openness, or do you tell him that “he’s acting childish?” Guys can be sensitive and have strong feelings while they feel hurt or mistreated, and you should be there for him if you truly love him. If you’re putting him through hell, quit it. Otherwise, it will destroy his love for you, and he will end up resenting you.
4. Not spending time together
If you’d rather spend time elsewhere than with him, you need to reexamine the foundations of your relationship. Sure, it’s fine to have your alone time and independence, but if you are consistently avoiding him, you should ask yourself, “why?” Is your interest level plummeting? Do you fancy somebody else? Couples will stay together, travel together, and spend quality time together in a healthy relationship. If you’re avoiding him a lot, it can be detrimental to your relationship and your loving connection together.
5. Being too bitchy
There may be that perception that guys love bitchy women, but this is simply not true. Most guys that I know simply hate them. So if you’re yelling at him too much, being negative, and not being kind enough to him, why would he want to stay in the relationship for future beatings? It helps if you kindly sit down with him and just discuss what is upsetting you. You can be open with him, flexible with him, and communicate with him without losing your cool. Maybe the next time that you lose your cool with him will inevitably be your last, because he’ll be free from you and your repression.
6. Dominating in the relationship
Do you find yourself making all of the decisions in the relationship, and calling all of the shots? Why not share the responsibility with him? Maybe you need to give your relationship an equal balance, so that you’re not feeling so overwhelmed and stressed out with life’s daily challenges. Let him make some of the plans, and be the guy and leader that you love. If you feel like you’re in control of the relationship, try to instil confidence in your man so that it will pay off for you down the road.
7. Cheating on him
Cheating is a brutal act that most relationships will never survive. It’s like a rubber band that snaps, and you simply can’t put it back together again to the way that it used to be. If you’re in danger of cheating on your partner, be open with him and talk about it first. Think about ways that you can save your relationship, or think about the positive things that make you happy within your relationship. No one should have to suffer from a broken heart from your cheating behaviour. If the relationship or marriage is just too bad for you, initiate a break-up or divorce first, before you decide to put him through the ringer of pain.
If you have ticked off most of the boxes from the list given and you don’t want to destroy relationship, I would recommend communication to try to establish a more solid connection with your partner. You can apologise, he may forgive, or you may seek couple’s counselling. Trust is difficult to regain, and it takes a lot of time to build it back up.