he stopped texting me

You met a great guy that you can see yourself getting along with when all of a sudden poof! He stopped texting, stopped calling, and simply just disappeared. So, what to do?

Ladies, I get it, a great guy doesn’t come around every day. Right? Wrong! If you live under the assumption that good guys don’t come around every day, so why not wait for Mr. No Show to contact you, you might find yourself waiting for a very long time. Or, the alternative, you could end up with a guy that disappears, then reappears weeks later. The key is to set some boundaries and stop waiting around for or worrying about a guy that suddenly stopped texting you.

Don’t try to justify him

There are all sorts of reasons why a guy stops texting you: he was in the hospital; he lost his phone; his dog ate his phone. Whatever the reason was, don’t try to justify his behavior. If you haven’t crossed any boundaries or pissed him off, there is no reason a guy stops texting you unless he is no longer interested.

Ghosting is not cool, however, people are free to do what they want. No law states that if a man is not interested in you that he has to call or text you to let you know. That’s called etiquette, and let’s face it ladies, some men, and admittedly some women lack etiquette. They just do not have the class or the courage to behave like a mature adult in a relationship. Would you want to be with a man that acts like an immature child?

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Stop wasting your energy

If you do not block this guy right away, one day, when you are feeling whole again, he will text you out of the blue a cool “Hello”. And, what you will do is not necessarily what you should do, so why not save yourself the drama and block him. Don’t wait for him to try to slip back into your life uninvited and then slip out the same way he came in. Set some boundaries.

When you give a guy who stopped texting you your energy, you are saying to the universe that you do not believe that you deserve better. Sure, it sucks not hearing from a guy you like. However, what’s worse is limiting yourself to a guy that didn’t either feel you were worth texting or worth an explanation as to why he no longer wants to see or hear from you. This is why you have to let go and move on. The more energy you expend on a guy that is just not that into you, the more you will be saying to yourself that you are not worthy.

Work on your standards

If you do not set some standards as to what you will or will not tolerate, you’re likely to wind up with another Houdini that thinks he can whisk himself into and out of your life whenever he feels like it. That’s not cool, and should be unacceptable. You deserve better. The reason why he stopped texting you is not the question, but rather why you care that he stopped texting you. If you still like him, then my question is what is there to like about a guy that for no good reason shuts off communication? That doesn’t sound like a guy worth wasting your time or your heart. Instead, work on your personal standards. Change the conversation you are having with yourself and tell yourself what a great catch you are. Don’t let Mr. Houdini trick you into feeling low or get down on yourself. Instead set the bar higher for yourself so that you learn not to waste time and energy on anyone that ghosts you.

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Get out there and date

Have you ever heard that if you fall off of a horse, you must get back up and ride again? Well, the same is with dating guys. And, no I do not mean right away, but when you feel ready, go out and have the best date ever! By doing this, you increase your chances of meeting someone great, someone that feels you are worth calling and texting. However, be careful not to carry your past experiences into your current dating experience. Each person is a unique individual, thus treat each man that you go out on a date with like a unique individual that he is.

As a woman, it is your responsibility to protect yourself and that you take care of yourself. Just as you would protect your home from an intruder, you must also be careful as to who you allow into your space. Sometimes people do not want to be in our lives, and that is their right to do so. However, it is also your right not to have anybody hurt you for no reason. Since you are accountable for only yourself, thus you cannot control anyone else’s actions or inactions. However, what you can do is respect yourself enough not to get hung up on a guy that stopped texting you, but look for a guy that cannot get enough of you.

Collette is the author of a groundbreaking and innovative book on relationships "Finding Happily... No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending", available on Amazon. She is a former domestic violence survivor and victim of violence, who shifted her traumatic experience into a catalyst to empower women with positive education about healthy relationships. Collette's passion for social justice and healthy relationships has given her a powerful foundation to spread her message. Her mission is to teach others how to live successfully and harmoniously. Connect with Collette on her website Finding Happily or on Twitter.

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