young woman wondering why guys dont call when they like you

So you had a great date, everything was going perfectly fine, and you both seemed to click. After that, you exchanged your numbers. And now, a few days later, you are lying in your bed in frustration, checking your cell phone from time to time, waiting for this guy to call you. But he doesn’t! 

You are wondering why he is not making a move, even though he said he liked you. What could have gone wrong, and what’s going on in his mind? Why guys don’t call when they like you?

1. They are shy

The reason why he didn’t call you is perhaps that he is a shy guy. Shy guys frequently struggle to talk with others and become nervous. Maybe he had several ideas about calling you on the phone, but his overthinking nature wouldn’t let him do it.

When calling you, he must be prepared for it. He needs to practice a conversation in his head because he is afraid he might go blank and be at a loss for words. Guys like this usually avoid anything that has to do with talking for long periods.

Even when you call men yourself, you may notice they appear on edge, usually due to their surprise at the call. So if your guy is timid, there is still hope he will overcome his nervousness and contact you.

When a shy guy likes a woman, he tries to appear cool. But his vulnerable side emerges when he relaxes and becomes emotionally attached. He may feel safe around you and call you more often as time passes.

young man checking his phone

2. They are too busy

Perhaps he was too busy to call! Sounds like an excuse? But, you shouldn’t rule out the possibility that your date hasn’t called you yet due to a lack of time. Perhaps his job requires long hours of labor? Or maybe he was simply sidetracked by something.

We all get busy with work, deadlines, and family issues. Think about what you’ve spoken to the guy during your date. How does he balance his career and personal life? Is he a 9-to-5 employee, or does he spend much time with his family? Has he been active on social media since your date?

Being busy with work can lead to forgetting things. If the guy forgot to call you, try to be more understanding. Don’t take it personally; it doesn’t mean you are not important to him; he still has your phone number, so he can call you when he has time. And if you really want to talk to the guy, call him or leave a voicemail so he can call you back as soon as he sees it.

It’s perfectly acceptable to be overworked from time to time. However, not having time for a quick phone chat might not be a good sign for maintaining a happy and healthy relationship. You can’t be the only one putting effort into a relationship. It will make matters worse, leaving you feeling extremely unsatisfied. 

Guys may have a solid reason for forgetting to contact you once, but saying they are always busy is not a valid excuse.

3. They don’t want to appear clingy

Would you date a guy who comes across as needy or clingy? Wouldn’t it be annoying to you? You’ll probably want to run away from him, as he would make you feel uncomfortable. 

And perhaps it is what he is terrified of right now, as he stares at his dial pad, pondering whether or not to call you. He is worried that you would mistake him for a needy person. This is one of the most common reasons why guys don’t call when they like you even though they have promised.

Maybe he doesn’t want to make a move because of past relationship trauma. Or perhaps he was in a relationship and was the one who usually made an effort? His girlfriend thought he was annoying, which eventually led to her dumping him.

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Some guys have difficulty balancing between affection and neediness. So if the guy you like has had a bad relationship experience, he might jump to another extreme with you and hold back from showing any kind of initiative.

So if you think the guy genuinely cares about you but is nervous about initiating conversations with you, tell him that you’d be happier if he called you more often.

young woman holding hand saying stop

4. They fear romantic relationships

Not all men want to be in a romantic relationship. So perhaps he didn’t call you because he is afraid of being in a relationship or searching for a no-strings-attached connection. Or maybe he had a bad breakup in the past that is preventing him from starting a new relationship with you or any other woman.

If your date sought a casual fling, but you gave him the impression you were interested in a serious relationship, he decided to back out. Women expect men to think, react, and behave as they do. However, sometimes it is tough to remember that a man’s perspective can be much different.

When your dating expectations are different, it’s for the best he doesn’t call you. If a man genuinely likes you but is interested in a casual fling when you are not, he’ll move on out of respect for you.

As you both have different expectations, it wouldn’t have ended well even if you had started dating. Not calling you back was this guy’s way of letting you know where he’s at without being upfront. So, just forget about him, get moving, and find someone who wants to be a part of your life.

couple on a coffee date

5. They lose interest

It is possible that the guy is no longer interested in you and doesn’t want to pursue a long-term relationship. Yeah, I know you are thinking that you did vibe. So, where did it all go wrong?

Did you use to talk on the phone now and then, but then he stopped calling? At first, he was attracted to you, but something happened along the way that made him reconsider. Maybe something changed after your last date and made him lose interest.

Perhaps he became unsettled when he noticed your desperation. Displaying anxiety during the first dates is a sure way to lose a man’s interest. Or maybe you weren’t his type, and it took him a while to figure it out.

But girl, there is no point stressing over that. You must know that we all have different preferences, and two mismatched socks can’t always work out. There is someone out there who is looking for a girl like you. Don’t lose hope. The right man is waiting for you. So maybe it’s time to go on other dates.

woman in car checking phone thinking why guys dont call when they like you

6. They prefer to talk in person or text

Why didn’t he call you if none of the reasons make sense? Maybe he’s just not the type of guy who likes to make phone calls. So many men prefer texting or face-to-face chat over the phone conversation. They enjoy spending time with the women they like. Most guys are not into small talk. They call to set dates but not to socialize. 

So perhaps this guy you met prefers to text you because it interrupts him less and requires less commitment. In addition, it allows him the freedom and space to respond whenever convenient.

However, there is a downside to dating that type of guy. If you are in a long-distance relationship will be challenging to maintain.

Maybe the guy doesn’t know how much these calls mean to you. He probably assumes calling you is not that important, so if you plan to continue dating, make sure you share your expectations with him.

young couple on date having conversation

7. They are socially awkward

One of the possible reasons the guy didn’t call you is that he isn’t very social and finds it challenging to communicate. He wants to call you but is scared of saying something stupid that may damage his reputation. However, this is not an indication of disinterest.

If a guy does not feel confident, he can be hesitant to call you. This may be due to a variety of factors. He may be unable to lead the discussion since he is unsure what to say over the phone.

It is more likely for this to happen when he has a crush on you. A lot of guys are anxious about upsetting a girl they really like. So to overcome this and get him to call, try to talk to him and find your similar interests to make him more relaxed when talking to you.

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awkward guy

8. They play hard to get

You wouldn’t say he’s shy. And he’s not socially awkward. So, why hasn’t this guy made the call, then? 

It looks like he is playing hard to get. You might be wondering why he would be playing games. Wasn’t it him who asked for your number?

Studies show that guys love the thrill of the chase when women play hard to get. But guys also like being chased. They like being teased and seeing a girl growing impatient with them. So no, he doesn’t mean any harm. He just wants to see if you would call him first if he didn’t.

He probably thinks this strategy will make you want him more. And maybe for that reason, you shouldn’t call him. Instead, show him that you can also play games.

guy on a date with woman playing hard to get

9. They take advice from their mates

We can’t rule out the idea that he’s consulting his buddies for guidance. It is normal to turn to our friends for help in these situations. I am sure you turned to your girlfriends for opinions on why the guy hadn’t called yet.

Some people believe a guy should wait two or three days after the date to text or call the girl. We can’t say this is terrible advice, but he’s effectively ruling off any romantic possibilities by adopting it.

And, based on his friends’ suggestions, he may believe that if he phones you straight away, you’ll think he’s desperate. So he most likely doesn’t want to scare you away.

He is waiting for the right opportunity to impress you. Don’t worry. He is probably gnawing his nails and staring at his phone, wanting to talk to you while resisting the urge to dial your number. Just have patience and wait a few more days before you jump to conclusions.

group of young men

10. They wait for you to make the first move

Guys like it when women make the first move. So, he probably expects you to initiate the conversation, which is one of the reasons he doesn’t call you.

On the other hand, maybe he showed his interest in you by asking for your phone number on a date, and now he expects you to call him. So don’t be afraid to contact him if you like him.

Yes, it’s more conventional that guys make the first move. But if he doesn’t, he is testing the waters to see if you’d be interested in dating him.

Guys initiate contact only when there is a strong attraction and emotional connection. They’ll simply give up if there aren’t enough of these two. Many men believe they must read between the lines to determine if the new woman they are seeing likes them.

If you call or send him a text message first, he sees it as a surefire sign you are into him. This will excite him because he realizes he will be rewarded if he plays his cards right. So, what are you waiting for? It is time to make the first move!

smiling woman talking on phone

11. They are in a committed relationship

Having a long-term girlfriend or being married can be a viable reason why guys don’t call when they like you. If a guy already is in an established relationship, he won’t be able to focus on you.

When you went on a date, did you notice him fidgeting with his phone or any other signs that showed he wasn’t mentally present? Or that something else seemed to be on his mind? What was his behavior like? Did he give you the impression that he was keeping something from you? If you did, that’s a red flag right there!

Even though he is into you, he refuses to interact with you to maintain the connection. No matter how much he likes you, a man who wants to retain his current relationship will not call you. Do you really want to be a side chick of someone already committed?

If you met a guy at a bar and never heard from him again, he probably woke up the next day and realized he didn’t want to cheat on his partner. Or he sobered up and completely forgot about you.

young couple in a bar drinking wine

12. They were not into you

This may upset you because you really liked him and hoped the feeling was mutual. However, the other reason a guy didn’t call you is that he was not into you as much as you thought. Maybe you misread the signals, and he was just trying to be nice when you exchanged your numbers.

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This is the most common reason why men disappear after a few dates. If he’s not interested in you, he might stop calling, texting, or returning your calls instead of telling you this upfront.

But it’s alright, don’t stress over that. Maybe you weren’t meant to be. Don’t try to beat yourself by thinking about what went wrong. Guys aren’t good at expressing feelings, so you shouldn’t be surprised if he chooses to ghost you.

He didn’t want to hurt you and break your heart. And there’s nothing you can do to persuade him otherwise. If a guy isn’t interested and wants to end the romance, the best thing you can do is move on.

pensive young woman on a date

13. They are weighing their options

Nearly half of Americans say dating is harder today than it was ten years ago, especially for women. Unfortunately, guys often date multiple women until they find someone they want to settle down with.

Maybe the guy hasn’t called you because he is still weighing his options. He is not sure if you are the right woman for him. Perhaps he even has gone on a few more dates.

However, don’t be upset. You can’t blame this guy. He wants to be sure of the connection. That makes sense, right? Would you date someone for the sake of dating? Everyone wants to find a partner with whom they are compatible.

That’s why, when you go on your next date, ask a guy about his intentions. It takes time to get to know each other. So instead of scaring him away, ensure you are both on the same page.

young man with unsure expression

14. They felt you overshared

Not just females, even guys don’t call when they find their date boring. Think about what you spoke of on your primary date. Were you an open book? Did you just start spilling facts about your life? Did you share some sad stories? No guy wants to know everything about you or your life on a first date. You probably wouldn’t want to know everything about him, either.

If you start telling your whole life story, nothing will be left for him to unravel, and he will quickly lose interest. If he felt he learned everything about you, that’s the reason he didn’t call you back.

So, remember you need to keep your first dates just a little bit mysterious. Don’t reveal too much, flirt with the guy, and tease him. Answer him in a way that will make him want to know more. Make him crave another date. Challenge his views and make a date playful and lively.

talkative woman on a date

15. They think you are not interested

Would you pursue someone who you don’t believe is genuinely interested in you? Wouldn’t you be terrified of getting turned down and try everything you can to avoid it? Unless you can deal with rejection, of course!

A man will not follow through on his promise of calling you, even if he has made one. Because he read your face when you first met and recognized that you were not paying attention. You didn’t react and talk as much as he thought you would. That led to him losing confidence.

He doesn’t want to be flatly rejected. So, when he calls your phone, he’s afraid of being rejected. For guys, rejection is the worst feeling in the world. When a girl they like doesn’t like them back, it’s tough not to feel humiliated. So, rather than putting himself in an awkward situation, he is trying to avoid calling you.

There are plenty of reasons why guys don’t call when they like you. Depending on that, you can make your next move. If he ignores you deliberately, it is best to move on. There is no point waiting for somebody who is not even interested in you.

But if he is genuinely busy and taking his time to call you, you just need to be patient. And if he is shy, encourage and reassure him. One thing you can be sure about: the right guy will make an effort to be in your life.

Brenda is relationships and lifestyle writer, coffee enthusiast, and a lover of new experiences. You’ll usually find her in a coffee shop with her laptop and a flat white scribbling down an article or searching for the next travel destination.

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