He wouldn’t pay attention to me

How do I get my partner to put his phone down and pay attention to me?

Maria, 26
Robert Manni
Answered by:
Relationship Guide, Author, Guy's Guy

Let’s face it, these days people can’t walk up the subway stairs without checking their phones. The truth is, people are hard-wired by technology to their jobs and responsibilities 24/7. It’s necessary to be on point and available at all times if you want to get ahead, but being shackled to your phone can also get it the way of building a relationship. If that’s the case, what can you do to shift your partner’s focus away from the phone to you?

The answer to every relationship issue begins with communication. Let’s assume that due to his job your partner needs to always have his phone on hand. The good news is that this means he’s working hard and has a drive to succeed and get ahead. You can use this as an opportunity to get him to open up. Ask him about his work and the challenges he faces every day. This will give you a better understanding of the pressures he’s under, and will allow you at the appropriate time to broach the subject of the phone. Talk to him about how much you value your time together and the importance of investing as much of his time in your relationship as he does in his career. Make sure you tell him that you understand how important his career is and that you support his work. But also be very clear when informing him that work alone does not make a man. To become a true success, he also needs to respect your partnership. And that means knowing when to put the phone down. If you choose your words wisely and approach him from a place of love, most guys will get it. Nowadays men know that neglecting their partner is a sure recipe for getting dumped. A smart guy will adjust his behavior and become more present and aware of you, and his over reliance on his phone.

If getting him to open up about his job and stressing the importance of balancing his work with your relationship does not seem to be getting through, you may need to address the problem using a third option. How about planning a phone-free date night featuring a special meal followed by the perfectly delicious dessert…you? When all else fails when trying to get through to a guy, a night of seduction almost always gets his undivided attention. Make sure he puts his phone down though. If after all of this he’s still tethered to his device, then you may have a bigger issue to deal with in your relationship than his phone. Good luck!


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