signs he will never come back

It’s not easy to just forget about the person you still love, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. Unfortunately, I know this all too well because I’ve been there more times than I care to admit. Back when I was going through a breakup, I tended to look at things through rose-tinted glasses. I idealized my ex while ignoring the bad things that led to the separation. So here I will share the signs he will never come back to encourage you not to dwell on the past and to start the new chapter of your life.

1. He doesn’t check up on you

Checking up on someone is as simple as sending a text, “Hey! I hope you’re doing okay.” If you wonder what the chances of your partner coming back are, this is one of the first things you should pay attention to.

Sure, your ex might be busy with other things, or he might not be in the right state of mind after the breakup to send you text messages or answer your phone calls. But, if he wants you back and still cares about you, he will check up on you.

When your ex-partner can’t be bothered sending you a text, maybe it’s time for you to move on. While you can’t always gauge someone’s interest in you based on texting, the lack of communication can be pretty revealing.

It also doesn’t help if you are the only one who keeps checking on him. Doing that without getting the same in return is definitely one of the signs your ex will never come back. It’s best to stop watering a dead plant and turn the focus towards yourself instead. Check up on your loved ones, and most importantly, on your emotions.

2. He doesn’t make the same effort

Usually, you can tell when a guy loses interest in you by the amount of effort he makes. So if your ex doesn’t show you much attention, he is likely not coming back.

He doesn’t talk about your feelings after the breakup. He doesn’t send you good morning texts like he used to. He doesn’t bring you food or take care of you when you’re sick.

This guy might have been the person you shared everything with, but you should admit that things have changed when he stops making any effort. Remember that actions speak louder than words.

Don’t spend time worrying about what he does or doesn’t do after your relationship ends. Instead, spend that time rebuilding your happiness and living life to the fullest.

This guy might have been the person you shared everything with, but you should admit that things have changed when he stops making any effort. Click To Tweet

3. He’s not affectionate

After a breakup, it’s normal to establish some boundaries regarding affection. For example, since you are no longer together, it’s okay if your communication is not as close as before. But, if your ex still wants you back, he will remain affectionate despite the breakup.

Yet, if you notice that he doesn’t even give you a friendly hug or an encouraging smile to help you get through the hardships, the chances of him coming back don’t look too high.

Affection doesn’t always have to be physical, too. If you feel like your partner’s vibe has changed after the breakup by being colder or nonchalant towards you, it’s one of the signs that he will never come back.

Acting cold might be a coping mechanism for him. But he won’t give you the cold shoulder if he still cares about you. Your ex is probably out there trying to move on, or maybe he started being affectionate towards someone else in a new relationship. Whatever the case is, lack of intimacy and affection is definitely saying that he doesn’t want you back.

4. He avoids you

Sometimes we tend to avoid people who bring us painful memories. For example, during my breakup, I expected my partner to face his feelings and talk them out, but that wasn’t the case.

It’s okay to give each other space after a separation, but note how long he keeps up this avoidant behavior. One of the most apparent signs the guy will never come back is him continuously avoiding you.

It doesn’t matter if you need closure. A man won’t see you in person if he thinks there’s no way forward with this relationship. He will also try to avoid your friends and family so that he doesn’t have to talk about what happened between the two of you.

When this happens, ask yourself whether you want someone with this kind of avoidant behavior back into your life. Your relationship dynamic has changed, and it would take hard work to get it back to what it used to be. Whatever the case is, avoidance is the man’s way of saying he doesn’t want you back.

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man sitting on the rooftop

5. He stops sharing things with you

Even after a breakup, if you agree to stay friends with your ex, he’ll probably share updates about his life as he used to do when you were still together.

Maybe it’s something minor, like “your favorite bakery started selling donuts again” or something significant as “I finally got that promotion at work!”. However, when the communication continues between you two, it is not necessarily because the man is interested in getting back together.

On the other hand, when your ex stops updating you on what’s going on in his life, take it as one of the signs he will never come back. So there’s no use putting your energy into someone who doesn’t see you in the same light anymore.

6. He doesn’t want to be intimate with you

If he doesn’t want any physical contact, let alone initiate sex, most likely he is not considering reviving your relationship. It’s a sign that his interest in you has probably faded away.

A study showed that 57% of young adults tend to reconcile with their ex in intimate relations. However, there still might be lingering emotional factors, so getting to bed with your ex can quickly turn into a hot mess.

Don’t dwell too much on the fact that he doesn’t want to be intimate with you anymore. There can be a lot of negative implications after sleeping with your ex, and it does not necessarily mean that he would want to get back together.

There’s no reason to question yourself and go through the emotional rollercoaster just for a chance to be intimate with your ex again. Instead, put your self-worth first and know that someone better will come along eventually.

There can be a lot of negative implications after sleeping with your ex, and it does not necessarily mean that he would want to get back together. Click To Tweet

7. He prioritizes other people over you

People involved in a long-term relationship become each other’s top priority. But, of course, when that relationship is over, that priority will change, and that’s okay.

You should still be a top priority for the man if he plans to come back to you. If you’ve spent a big chunk of your life with someone, and you still love each other, the tie between you two can’t be severed that easily.

However, if a guy is putting other people before you, take it as a sign he is not planning to get back together. Instead, he might want to prioritize other things like his friends, family, career, or hobbies after the breakup.

If a man wants to get back to you, he will show how important you are to him. You shouldn’t be an option for him to someday go back to. You should be a constant in his life, and if he doesn’t show you this, it’s unlikely that he will come back.

8. He returned all your things

Having your ex-boyfriend or spouse return all your belongings seems like a normal thing to do when you’re going through a breakup, but not when you’re hoping to get back together. This means, to put it simply, that the man is ready for the next chapter of his life.

It will also eliminate all the reasons to see him. For example, you won’t have an excuse to contact him about that dress you left behind at his place. Or ask for the book you gave him in the past.

Returning your ex’s things is one of the last steps in the process of a breakup. The act itself symbolizes the parting of you and your ex, and it is one of the tell-tale signs that the man is not likely to come back.

Even though it’s possible that your ex still has feelings for you, he’s strong enough to get rid of any memories related to you. So try to find the strength to do just that and return his things to him.

packing books into a box

9. He deletes your pictures from social media

When a man deletes any sign of you from all of his social media accounts, he wants to make it known to the public that he’s single and ready to mingle.

When a man and a woman end their relationship amicably, they usually don’t mind keeping some pictures to remind them of the happy times they spent together. But if your ex gets rid of all your photos on his Instagram or Facebook, he doesn’t want other people to think that you still hold a place in his heart. Instead, your ex wants them to know that the chapter he had with you had come to a close.

As a cherry on top, he might even unfollow or block you on social media. If that’s the case, it’s time for you to do the same. This might seem unfair, but it’s one of the signs he will never come back. He’s ready to move on and start seeing other people.

Deleting and unfollowing each other on social media can be the last straw that says your story with him is truly over.

10. He tells you the worst breakup line

Any reason to break up a relationship is already bad enough. Still, if a guy hits you with the “It’s not you, it’s me” excuse, it’s one of the most evident signs that he won’t ever come back.

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When your ex tells you that the problem lies in him, it means there is nothing you can do to improve the relationship. It’s a subtle way to say you deserve the best, but he won’t be the person to give you that. It’s certainly not an invitation for you to help him change for the better. Instead, this breakup line tells you that he made up his mind and is ready to move on.

Take that desire to help change or improve your man and put it back into yourself. Make an effort to heal from the pain and come out of it stronger than before. Your ego might have gotten bruised due to the breakup, but remember that every rejection is just redirection.

Your ego might have gotten bruised due to the breakup, but remember that every rejection is just redirection. Click To Tweet

11. He causes you anxiety

Sometimes, a woman’s intuition is inexplicably strong. Trust your gut feeling when a man starts to cause you anxiety and uncertainty. When you find yourself questioning his intentions, take that as one of the signs he is not the right person for you.

Lack of communication or effort from the guy’s side can sometimes trigger intrusive thoughts, like “What’s making him so busy?” or “Is he out there with another girl?”. It seems like you can’t stop thinking about him because you have no clue what’s going on in his life.

This thought pattern is something our mind conjures when it tries to warn us that something is not quite right. If the man gives you so much uncertainty, perhaps it’s time to let him go and move on. You deserve a person who makes you happy instead of anxious.

The right person will always give you the assurance you need. Even if you deal with relationship anxiety daily, the right person by your side will make it easier to control the anxious thoughts.

12. He makes you feel angry

It’s normal to feel resentment after a breakup, especially if it was a long-term relationship, and intense emotions make us process the event faster.

However, if you feel more anger than sadness, you might not need this man in your life.

In my experience, those who have brought me resentment or negative energy usually are not meant to stay around for too long. I take it as a sign that this person doesn’t belong in my life. I respect my time too much to be spending it on a man that will only lower my vibration.

When a guy makes you feel anything aside from fondness, affection, or love, it may be the signs from the universe that he no longer belongs in your life. The anger is there for a reason, and your gut feeling can be one of the signs you won’t get back together.

angry woman screaming

13. He doesn’t feel guilty about hurting you

It doesn’t matter what caused your relationship to end. If the man doesn’t have any shame for hurting you, he clearly stopped caring about you. All he wants is to just move on from you.

When you respect a person, you try to make the breakup process as painless as possible. It is dealt with in a civilized way, and it doesn’t cause you unnecessary stress.

If the guy is mean towards you, it signifies that his love for you is not there anymore. Therefore, he’s not the man you should be in love with because he doesn’t have your best interest at heart.

Your ex may want to hurt your feelings, so it’s easier for you to move on, and that’s what you need to do. There shouldn’t be a place in your heart for people who want to hurt you.

14. He cuts off contact with you

When someone cuts off contact with me, I still tend to think they have a reason for it. Of course, there’s no harm in hoping that the guy comes back and maintains some sort of relationship with you, but sometimes you need to do a reality check.

If your ex cuts off contact, it shows you that he no longer cares about you or what’s going on in your life. He thinks that his life will be better off without you. So he doesn’t want to talk to you or even see your updates on social media. As a result, he may even block you on social media, so you will have no way of contacting him and starting a conversation.

Even though cutting off the contact with your ex seems a bit harsh, it’s actually one of the best ways to heal and move on. Remember the saying “Out of sight, out of mind”? Moving on will be much easier when you don’t fixate on trying to get back with your ex.

Even though cutting off the contact with your ex seems a bit harsh, it's actually one of the best ways to heal and move on. Click To Tweet

15. He tells you you’re not the one

Actions may speak louder than words on certain occasions, but if your ex tells you that you’re not the one for him, time to leave him behind. It’s one of the most obvious signs he will never come back because let’s face it, he doesn’t want to have you in his life anymore.

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However harsh this may be, when he says you two aren’t meant to be together, it can make it easier for you to forget him. Once a man has said this, he probably means it.

While you may not be the woman for him, you are definitely someone else’s forever person. So instead of dwelling on what could have happened with your ex, focus on fulfilling yourself so you can be ready for the new relationship. Somewhere out there, someone else is wishing that he’s with you, treating you right and making you happy.

16. He gets back together with his ex

While the possibility of rekindling your relationship is there, it doesn’t always mean that a man will want to come back to you. And when he gets back together with his ex after the breakup with you, it’s a pretty solid sign he won’t be returning to you.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a rebound relationship or his feelings for his previous partner returned. When a man gets back together with his ex, it’s his way of saying he made his choice.

Even if he decides to rekindle a relationship with you at some point, likely, you won’t be his only option.

There’s no point crying over spilled milk when this happens. If anything, it just shows how bad the guy is at making a commitment. You deserve better than being his second option.

couple embracing each other

17. He has a new girlfriend

There’s no other sign more evident that he is not coming back to you than your ex finding a new girlfriend. When a man starts a relationship with someone new, it’s pretty clear that he’s leaving you in the past.

If this man can move on, so can you. He’s out there happy with another woman while you’re still reminiscing about the past and wishing him to come back.

The best thing for you is to stop waiting around and live your life to the fullest. The world doesn’t revolve around your ex anymore. So even if the pain feels neverending, eventually, you’ll realize that you deserve better.

Start dating someone else who understands you and won’t keep you hanging as your ex did. Don’t doubt that there is a man out there who is willing to give you the world.

18. You feel different

Instead of looking for external clues that your ex will come back, sometimes you need to do a little introspection. Despite all the pain caused by a breakup, I see it as something that can help with personal development.

Ask yourself the question: do you really want this man to come back to your life in the first place? Or is it the affection that you miss? Is it worth it to go through another emotional rollercoaster? Is this guy worth it?

If you don’t feel the same way about your ex as you once did, it might indicate that you are ready to start a new chapter and move on. You may not love him the way you did before, and you feel like it’s easier to leave him in the past.

I was so used to fixating on my ex that when this feeling came, it was pretty strange. It felt like all the weights had been lifted from my shoulders. I was prepared to move forward instead of staying in the shadow of my ex-boyfriend.

Ask yourself the question: do you really want this man to come back to your life in the first place? Click To Tweet

19. You’d rather move on

Have you found yourself choosing to move on rather than have your ex come back to you? Congratulations! There is no need to keep on looking back. You don’t want to welcome any negative behavior from your ex-boyfriend into the new chapter of your life.

It’s been statistically proven that there is a correlation between romantic relationship breakups and personal growth. So take this opportunity to see things from a different perspective. Perhaps ending your relationship with each other is one of the best things you’ve ever done. Think of it this way: the chances of having a better relationship in the future are more significant than those of you getting back together with your ex. And that’s not too bad at all.

20. You’ve found closure

Finding closure doesn’t have to be in the form of a conversation between you and your ex. It can simply be accepting the situation and the fact that you need to start a new chapter. It’s acknowledging that it’s okay if this man is not going to come back. You find yourself not caring whether or not he’s showing signs he wants you back.

You realize it’s about time you stop looking for signs he will come back and find a man who can actually give you the world. It’s time to stop idealizing the past and focus on the present and the people that bring you joy.

All the internal struggles are not as intense as before. You feel optimistic about what the future holds, and your mind is at peace.

It’s okay to allow yourself to feel sad that the man you used to be close with is not coming back. Process your emotions and keep your chin up.

If the man you used to be with shows all these signs, do yourself a favor and stop thinking about him. Leave your ex in the past where he belongs. Let yourself heal and find someone worthy of your love.

Diana is a passionate beauty and lifestyle blogger. She loves writing about her journey of self-discovery and self-care and analyzing all the aspects of relationships.

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