Love vs Infatuation: How to Tell the Difference

love vs infatuation

Making relationship decisions based on an infatuation is a mistake that can be difficult to recover from. If you center your choices on whims and infatuations, you might miss out on the opportunity to find the love of your life. How do you know for sure that what you are feeling is true love instead of a crush? Here are some signs that will help you to tell the difference between love vs infatuation.

Being realistic about the situation

Being in love with someone is an intense experience, and it is important to know the reality of what your relationship is like. For example, it is easy to dream that you are going to be a famous ballet dancer, but if you do not know the reality of what is required to become a top ballerina, you will not take the steps required to get there. Would you pursue a career in dance if you knew that you would have to practice dancing every day, watch what you eat, and avoid other activities that could place a strain on your body? If you would, then that is proof that you truly love dancing and are dedicated to becoming the best dancer you can be.

The same is true for love. How can you know if you truly love someone if you do not know what type of person you are loving? Liking the way someone looks is not enough of a reason to get involved in a deeper relationship with that individual. You need to know how someone conducts themselves in happy situations and in stressful situations. Only then will you know if the two of you are compatible.

Love takes time to develop

There are things that we know instantly that we love. For instance, I knew at first bite that I loved pizza. However, figuring out if you love another person is much different: it requires time and involvement. So how do you know when you are in love?

A few casual dates are certainly not enough to truly understand how compatible you would be with someone long term and to label it as true love. Infatuation is a quick lust and immediate fixation that eventually either fades or transitions into the next phase of a relationship. Real love develops throughout time and results in a deep connection between two people.

Affection is conditional

Love manages to overcome disappointments and rejections. I am not a fan of staying in a bad situation forever, but some people have the belief that love conquers everything. Is it worth it to you to stay with someone who has made so many mistakes in your relationship that you have lost count of how many times you have had to forgive? Maybe you do not mind working things out with a partner who has caused you great disappointment and grief, and if that is the case, then it could be because you feel there is much worth in loving that person.

If you were wondering how long does infatuation last, there is no set time frame for it, but generally, it disappears when disappointments come. A fixation that is based on infatuation is fickle; it comes and it goes depending on the weather. True love stands firm through good times and through bad times.

Accepting your partner

You know that you are in love when you are willing to put in an effort and accept the person you love for who they are. When the person you love needs time apart from you in order to focus on goals, and you are willing to wait for your love to return to you, then you know that this is the real thing. True love will be there no matter how long it takes.

Two people who are infatuated with each other will completely lose interest when they face some obstacles. Need to break a few dates due to a family emergency? If so, do not expect someone who is merely infatuated with you to be too understanding. If there is no foundation of love there, the power of an infatuation will dim to a very low light.

So is it love or infatuation?

When you love a person there is a sense of unity you share with them which is based on mutual understanding and respect. You do not need to find someone who is just like you in order for genuine love to take place; it is perfectly fine to love someone whose life is quite different than your own. However, it is necessary to have similar goals and shared values.

Values and dreams can certainly change, but when something is important to you it is okay to stand firm. The person who truly loves you will praise your values and will praise you often. A person who is infatuated with you will ignore your needs and won’t try to be understanding about what is important to you. True love compromises when necessary and it comes through when needed, and that is the best sign that your relationship is centered on love.

Akua is a Canadian born and raised girl with Caribbean roots. She is a journalist, actress, music teacher, performer, owner and marketer of 3 worldwide dating websites, as well as an independent Pure Romance business owner selling passion products for singles and couples.  Visit her website  AkuaHinds.com to learn more about her.


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