how to be a better girlfriend

As much as we’d like to consider ourselves perfect, we all have room for improvement. Maybe you’ve been arguing with your boyfriend a bit too much lately. Or, perhaps, you want to please him for all the nice things he does to you?

Whether you seek self-improvement for your own or sake or others, it is always an optimistic and beneficial life approach. These tips on how to become a better girlfriend will bring positive results to your love life.

1. Listen to him when he talks

Men have some conversation topics that we women simply can’t find any interest in. It’s nobody’s fault. Every now and again, even the perfect boyfriend will want to chat about something that makes you yawn. Instead of faking interest and falling half-asleep, try active listening for a change. Trust me, he will notice the difference when you ask even one or two relevant questions and feel grateful for your effort. (Especially if he knows engines or cables are not on the list of your top ten conversation topics).

2. Make him laugh

We are so busy with our lives that we often forget the most important and purest aspects of happiness. Sometimes, all you need is someone to put a smile on your face or to make you relax and have a good laugh. It’s the same for your boyfriend. A simple gesture like this goes a long way, especially when he has had a bad day. Try to maintain a happy atmosphere in your relationship not only for your boyfriend’s sake but for yours as well.

Every now and again, even the perfect boyfriend will want to chat about something that makes you yawn. Click To Tweet

3. Respect his boundaries

No matter how much you love someone, there are times when your partner will need a breather. Respecting his boundaries or his private time and space is essential for a successful relationship. Nobody wants to be smothered all of the time by their partner. Men tend to be even less prone than women to ask their partners for help or advice. Your boyfriend will probably want to do his own thing from time to time and it’s ok to let him do so. It is also a sign of consideration, and he will be grateful that you respect his private space.

4. Try sharing one of his hobbies

All couples have things in common that they enjoy doing together. However, showing interest in one of his hobbies and learning something new so you can enjoy some activities together goes a long way. It can be anything, a video game, wine appreciation or a sport. If you are trying to be the best girlfriend he has ever had, sharing some activities with him will bring you closer to this ideal. And, he will surely be impressed and grateful when you will want to participate in something he used to enjoy alone.

5. Cook for him

woman making food

Cooking food for a guy is probably the oldest trick in the book. People still say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So, if you want some extra points in your partner’s eyes, make him a nice meal once in a while. It doesn’t mean you have to become a slave in the kitchen and dedicate yourself to this fanatically. Even if it’s making his favorite dish once in a blue moon, it is still a step forward. He will surely appreciate the gesture as well as the time and effort you’ve put into it.

6. Praise him

It would probably be hard to find a person who doesn’t like receiving compliments. Women love being told they are smart and beautiful, so why should men be any different? If anything, they tend to have bigger egos than women. Praising your partner will make him feel good, and it will give him a boost of positive emotions. Some value compliments more when they hear them in private, while others like being praised in front of others. Whichever the case, you can never go wrong with a little sweet talk.

7. Support him during the tough times

Although a prideful species, men also need their partners to be there during the hard times. If your partner shares some of his difficulties with you, offer to help him or be there for him. He might not need you to actually do anything. He might just want moral support or to know that there is someone to back him up. Knowing that you can offer him a shoulder to lean on will mean the world to him and strengthen your bond.

Women love being told they are smart and beautiful, so why should men be any different? Click To Tweet

8. Buy him small gifts

Who said only women enjoy receiving gifts for no particular reason? Men can be just as happy to see you bought them a keychain as we women are when we randomly receive flowers from our partners. People generally love maintaining that childlike side of themselves even when they get old. While Valentine’s or Christmas gifts are excellent to show love and appreciation, there is nothing like being surprised with a gift out of the blue. It shows your partner that you care and want him to be happy even if there is nothing special to celebrate.

9. Be kind to his family

This advice might seem more like common sense than anything else. Still, it is vital for the success of any romantic relationship. Maintaining a good relationship with your partner’s family is a given. However, showing some extra kindness and attention will not go unnoticed and will make your boyfriend really happy. He will appreciate your efforts, and you will surely gain brownie points for this.

10. Show that you trust him

guy laying on girls lap

A healthy relationship requires the foundation of trust. Reading your boyfriend’s text messages, questioning him what he is doing and whom he is hanging out with, making scenes if he hadn’t called you for a few hours can quickly lead to a breakup. You probably wouldn’t like to be manipulated by a controlling boyfriend yourself. So if you recognized any of those signs creeping up into your relationship, it is time to change your behavior. Try not to control your boyfriend in every step he makes and show him that you trust him.

11. Be honest

Whenever the topic of honesty is brought up, people feel unsure about how much honesty is too little or too much. However, a good girlfriend will let a guy know what she truly is like and what she stands for. Hiding your true nature for the sake of pleasing your boyfriend will get you nowhere. It’s true that being considerate of your partner’s feelings and needs is essential for you to get along well. But there is a big difference between hiding your true self and compromising from time to time.

12. Show your affection

For some reason, people believe that men do not prize affection as essential in their relationships. While they might not crave affection as much as women do, they are still human beings who need human closeness. Do not reserve gestures of affection solely to the bedroom area. Give your partner hugs and cuddles so he feels happy and cherished.

Hiding your true nature for the sake of pleasing your boyfriend will get you nowhere. Click To Tweet

13. Be a good team player

We all talk about wanting equality in our relationships and sharing responsibilities evenly with our partners. That means we also need to learn to be good team players and share the burdens, not only successes. If you want to make your boyfriend feel supported, have open discussions about his perspective on what a good team should be like. Try to be active in this regard and let him see that you are not in it just for your own interests.

14. Accept his friends

Part of being a good girlfriend is connecting well with your partner’s circle of friends. Remember, for him, they are as important as your own girl support group. He will feel more at ease knowing you are not against any of his palls and that you actually like spending time in his friends’ company. That does not mean you have to lie or hide your opinions if someone appears to be a bad influence on your boyfriend. However, don’t make him choose between his friends and you.

15. Do not smother him

man looking at woman

It is crucial to give your boyfriend some space to have his own hobbies and time alone. Occasionally he will want to have a night out with the guys or simply be on his own. It’s normal and actually healthier for both of you to nurture this sense of independence and freedom. As much as you want to spend time together, you also need to understand that your boyfriend has a life outside your relationship, and you should have one too.

16. Be independent

Being a good girlfriend is not always about what you need to do for your man. It is also about being your best possible self. While triggering your boyfriend’s hero instinct once in a while will make him feel good about himself, you don’t need to play the damsel in distress and always rely on your man’s support. Men appreciate women who are self-sufficient and know what they want from life. So, if you want to be a better girlfriend, be independent and don’t rely on your boyfriend in every single step.

17. Be faithful to him

Men value faithfulness as much as women. They want to know that the person they love is reliable and does not cheat on them. But, it’s not only about fidelity. It is also essential to make your man feel that he is the one for you and that in your eyes, there is nobody better than him. Your boyfriend will feel good knowing that you do not respond to other men’s attempts to attract your attention, no matter how handsome and insistent they might be.

While triggering your boyfriend's hero instinct once in a while will make him feel good about himself, you don't need to play the damsel in distress and always rely on your man's support. Click To Tweet

18. Maintain his interest

We all strive to be the center of attention of the ones we love. You might not manage to sustain the same passionate feelings you had when you started dating. However, you still need to maintain a level of interest from your boyfriend. Some nice clothes and perfume, candle-lit dinner, and sensual foreplay can do wonders for a relationship.

19. Be his friend, not just his lover

Many relationships don’t last long because people forget how important it is to be there for their partners. What truly matters is to be your boyfriend’s friend, not just his sex partner. Be there when he wants to share something with you. Be someone with who he can talk openly and offer advice or support when he seeks it.

20. Be imaginative in the bedroom

playful couple in bed

Men are not that different from women when it comes to their sex lives. They get bored fulfilling the same stereotypical role and want to have great sex with their partners. That’s not to say that you should learn the whole Kamasutra to please your man, but take the initiative from time to time. Make it about him and his pleasure. Talk openly about his wants in bed and, if you know that he has specific preferences, go for it.

21. Don’t be too critical

Nobody likes their partner to act as if they were their nagging parent. You might feel like giving advice and correcting your boyfriend when he has done something wrong, but don’t go overboard with it. There are various ways to let him know that he has made a mistake without making him feel you are chewing him up for it. Ensure that what you intend to say doesn’t come across worse than you initially intended it to. Moderating your response will make a tremendous difference!

22. Avoid playing on his weaknesses

When we argue, we feel tempted to call our partners names or bring up things that we know would hurt them. Never do that, if possible! No matter how upset or angry you are, avoid saying things you know you will regret later. Hitting your boyfriend below the belt will not resolve the issue and will only escalate the problem. Instead, take a deep breath, count to ten, and try to think things through. Postpone the discussion for later, when you are both calmer.

Nobody likes their partner to act as if they were their nagging parent. Click To Tweet

23. Don’t take him for granted

If you are still wondering how to be a better girlfriend, then learn to value your man. Don’t make him feel like he is dispensable. Let him know that you are aware of his efforts and hard work – in and outside of your relationship. A good girlfriend should make sure that her boyfriend feels cherished. Think of it this way: you are not entitled to anything in this world. You get what you give back, and you should be grateful and appreciative for all the nice things your partner has to offer.

24. Appreciate the small things

Understanding the importance of being happy about the good things in life, small or big, is essential in any relationship. The best girlfriend isn’t someone who ticks all the boxes. Sometimes it comes down to being thankful and showing appreciation for the small gestures that your boyfriend does for you. If you want your guy to feel like the luckiest man alive for having you as his girlfriend, show him you are happy about sharing the simple things in life with him.

25. Be accommodating when needed

guy and girl holding hands

Having a perfect relationship does not imply that things will go smoothly every time. And being a better girlfriend doesn’t mean you need to do things correctly all the time. And that also applies to your partner. You are both human beings, and conflicts are inevitable no matter how well you get along with each other. There will be times when you will need to compromise and find a middle ground together. Make sure to apply this on occasion, or you will end up growing distant from each other.

26. Don’t argue over small things

This is often a difficult habit to break, so you should deal with it from the get-go. If you feel like flaring up over small details, try to get better control over your reactions. A relationship can quickly deteriorate if these recurrences become a way of life. If you want to be a better partner to your man, don’t be that girlfriend who explodes whenever he does something you disagree with or you don’t like. Try being more understanding and remember that some things are not worth losing your relationship over.

27. Just be yourself

Wanting to make your boyfriend feel special is excellent, but there are things you should not sacrifice just to achieve this. After all, he chose you as his girlfriend for a reason. There probably are many aspects of your personality that he already loves, so don’t try to change everything about who you are. Guys like their partners to be genuine as much as women do. Don’t forget that the next time you consider changing yourself.

The best girlfriend isn’t some remarkable role model you should mold yourself into. Each relationship has unique sides to it, and so do people. There is no textbook answer on how to be a better girlfriend because each guy has different expectations and preferences. What makes one guy feel special might have the opposite effect on the other.

If you want to make your boyfriend happy, try to better yourself for your own sake, not for his. Use these tips as a reference for improvement, but stay true to yourself and take care of what is essential in your relationship.

Camilla is a marketer and a self-proclaimed gadget junkie. She works online and lives in her suburbia house with her three cats. Camilla has made plenty of relationship mistakes along the way. She wants to share these experiences to help other people gain insight into their problems and hopefully find a path to their solutions.