give up on dating

Have you ever thought “to hell with dating”? Do you feel that you’ve had one bad date too many? Believe me, I share your feelings. Dating is like a sport; there are unwritten rules that you need to know if you want to win the game and if after the tenth (or twentieth) attempt you do not achieve the result you may be tempted to give up on dating.

I find it amusing that we go to school and while we are taught mathematics, language, history, and science, we are not taught how to excel at human interactions. However, dating is so important! Through dating, you learn how to interact with others, what you want, what you need, and how to love and take care of someone else. If you are considering giving up on dating, you must have valid reasons for that. Let’s take a look at them and see if putting an end to partner search and staying single is the best solution for you.

1. You are afraid of being heartbroken

Too many people decide to give up on dating before they even run the race! While it is true that not every relationship lasts a lifetime, that might actually be a good thing. When a relationship is not working, there is little reason to stay together. The past does not always determine the future. And if a relationship did not work out in the past, you realize there is no guarantee that a new relationship will work out.

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If you have doubts about starting over again, that might be a reason why you have talked yourself into giving up on dating. I have a friend who believes that she has bad luck when it comes to dating. It could be her approach that needs to change if she ever expects her love life to turn around. After all, like attracts like. If you keep sending negative energy into the universe, you will probably be attracting someone whose personality is similar to yours.

2. It takes too much of an effort

Failure is an important part of life. It is through failures and setbacks that we can set and achieve new milestones for ourselves. How much effort do you truly put into dating? If dating is a priority to you, then how you can possibly imagine giving it up? Everything worth having in this life requires effort. If you had a son who was about to try out for the basketball team at his school, would you urge your son not to pursue basketball just because he missed a few shots when he was practicing? Of course not! I know that I would not do that! I would do my best to encourage my boy to pursue his dream.

How about you? Who is your biggest cheerleader? If you need to think about who that person is, I want you to take a look at yourself in the mirror. That person staring back at you should be your biggest cheerleader. The same type of effort that you put into a hobby or a job is the same amount of effort that you need to invest in your dating life.

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3. No idea where to approach people

Dating can seem a bit daunting at first when you are unsure of what the rules of the game are. If you were away on a cruise and you want to find an eligible suitor who lives in your area, you need to re-establish yourself. But where to start? Going out and approaching people in the street or in bars does not feel right. All the attempts of your friends to set you up with somebody they know haven’t worked out. Speed dating events appeared to me attracting socially awkward weirdos. What else is there to try?

Online dating? No way! You deleted your Tinder profile right after that guy asked you if you were up for sex instead of “Hello” in his first message. You made a conclusion that online dating is not your cup of tea based on a few encounters without considering that there are plenty of different kinds of fish in the sea and different fishing spots depending on your needs and interests. There are literally hundreds of dating websites available out there to expand your opportunities of meeting someone new.  

Why you shouldn’t give up on dating

It is fine to take a break from dating temporarily. Sometimes, we all need to take a breather from chasing our dreams. Think of it as going on vacation; working is great, but we appreciate our work even more, after we take time out.

Taking a vacation does not mean that we stop working. What happens when we stop working? We end up losing out on financial opportunities and personal blessings. What happens when you stop dating? You risk missing out on fun, loving, life-changing moments!  Dating is not always perfect all of the time. There will be good and bad moments when you date, but it is worth the risk. If the thought of dating makes you feel nervous, just think of dating as a way to meet people. Through meeting people, new opportunities happen.

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When something is not working, you need to make a change. Instead of giving up on dating, focus on letting go of bad dating experiences that you had in the past. Let go of the notion that you are “unlucky in love”. Embrace the possibilities to learn and grow during the dating process and focus on your goal to have a fulfilling relationship that you seek.

Akua is a Canadian born and raised girl with Caribbean roots. She is a journalist, actress, music teacher, performer, owner and marketer of 3 worldwide dating websites, as well as an independent Pure Romance business owner selling passion products for singles and couples.

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