signs he doesnt love you anymore

Are you starting to suspect that your romantic partner is no longer into you? Unfortunately, it is common for partners to lose interest—sometimes for a particular reason and other times simply due to changing life circumstances and personalities. If you wonder whether this is happening in your relationship, we’ll explore the most common signs that he doesn’t love you anymore.

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Tell-tale signs he doesn’t love you anymore

Before we delve deeper into analyzing those signs, one thing you shouldn’t do if you tick off a few boxes is panic.

Often there can be more than one explanation for individual behaviors. Also, when you start looking for signs to confirm your suspicions, you may find evidence of something that doesn’t exist. This is called confirmation bias. So try to be as objective as possible, and if you realize you’ve seen quite a few of these signs, it may be time to have a conversation with your partner.

1. He no longer asks you about your day

You remember the early days of the relationship when he would ask you how your day was almost every day. These days, it just doesn’t happen. He has stopped sending those texts or calling you just to chat about your day, or if you live together, he has stopped greeting you with a friendly “how was work?” when you arrive home.

Signs like this are often bad news for a relationship. This could signify a loss of interest in you, not just your daily activities.

2. He doesn’t talk about his day

Another red flag to look out for is your partner not wanting to talk when you ask about his day. While we all sometimes have a stressful day that we wish to forget about instead of reliving it when we get home, it could be a bad sign if this always happens.

When we are interested in someone, we usually can’t wait to tell them about any exciting things that have happened to us. However, if your man has stopped doing this, your relationship may be in a rut.

When we are interested in someone, we usually can't wait to tell them about any exciting things that have happened to us. Click To Tweet

3. He makes excuses

Is he always “busy with work” or “too tired” to share fun activities with you? For example, he might say he can’t afford to go out on dates with you, but you can’t even get him to commit to a night in watching a movie on Netflix together.

It is normal and healthy for the “honeymoon period” to end and for you to stop wanting to spend every possible second with each other. Still, if your man can’t ever make time to share a movie or meal with you, this may be a sign that his feelings are fading.

4. He chooses his friends over you

Avoidant behavior isn’t always a sign of lost love—it can often be a sign of stress, depression, or general unhappiness with life. When your partner loses interest in everything and everyone around him, he may be unhappy with life, not just your relationship.

However, if he still makes time to hang out with his boys but can’t find time to spend with you, his unhappiness may be more with the relationship.

5. He doesn’t listen attentively anymore

When you started dating, he listened actively to everything you said. His body language was open and receptive; he made eye contact and asked questions. He always wanted to learn more about you and your life and hear more about what you said.

You really felt listened to and heard, which was part of why you liked him so much. These days, however, you can sense that his mind is elsewhere when you speak to him. Signs like this may signal that your relationship is on the rocks.

guy texting while girl watching him

6. He is hard to get hold of

At the start of your relationship, all you had to do was call him, and your guy would come running to you to help you with anything you needed. It seemed as if you were always on his mind, whatever he was doing.

Now, things are very different. Getting a hold of your partner is difficult at any time of the day, not just when he is at work and can’t answer his phone. Even if he has just gone out for a walk or is at the bar with friends, he may as well be on another planet.

7. He takes ages to reply to messages

Of course, even the most devoted boyfriend can’t be able to answer the phone at any time around the clock. After all, even people in relationships have their own lives and commitments.

However, you can’t even get him to respond to a simple text message! Of course, you can’t expect responses always to be instant, but if a guy constantly takes hours or more to respond to your texts when you know he has his phone, this may be a red flag.

8. He forgets important events

Everybody forgets things sometimes, especially if they have a busy schedule. However, if your boyfriend constantly forgets important events such as your birthday, it may be a sign that you are no longer at the forefront of his mind in the way you used to be.

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If you have noticed this, make sure it is not just a case of your man being a forgetful person. Memory issues can also be signs of stress and depression.

If your boyfriend constantly forgets important events such as your birthday, it may be a sign that you are no longer at the forefront of his mind. Click To Tweet

9. He is often secretive

Have you noticed your partner avoiding conversations on specific topics, such as his night out with friends? Perhaps he has become guarded about his phone lately and makes sure to angle the screen away from you when you’re in the room.

Men sometimes do this when hiding something—anything from having an affair to talking with friends about being unhappy in the relationship.

10. He tells lies

Avoiding conversations is one thing, but telling lies can be even more of a red flag. Whether your boyfriend or husband is hiding an affair or simply no longer feels comfortable opening up to you about the problems in his life, this is a problem.

Honesty is essential in relationships, and a guy in denial is a bad sign. But, of course, each of these possibilities may need very different responses from you.

woman caught her boyfriend lying

11. Your habits irritate him

When we are first dating someone, we can find everything they do endearing. This is due to those lovey-dovey hormones that flood our brains when we fall in love. Unfortunately, these hormones tend to reduce over time.

It is normal to find some of our significant other’s habits challenging to deal with as we get to know them better. Still, if your partner finds everything you do annoying, this needs to be addressed.

12. He seems uninterested in conversations

One of the main signs he doesn’t love you anymore is that he generally seems uninterested in conversing with you. For example, does he respond to your questions with “yes” and “no,” and you feel like you always have to be the one to initiate conversation? In that case, your partner may be losing interest in you.

This sign is especially relevant if he used to be much more chatty. If being quiet is not in his nature, perhaps something has changed in his life or with your relationship.

13. His body language is closed-off

Think about how your boyfriend acts when you are near him. Our body language often gives clues about how we feel, even if we aren’t aware of it.

If he always seems to be sitting with his head bowed, arms folded, and he looks away from you, this may be a sign that he wants more space.

If he always seems to be sitting with his head bowed, arms folded, and he looks away from you, this may be a sign that he wants some more space. Click To Tweet

14. He doesn’t reassure you anymore

You used to feel like you could always rely on him to comfort you and cheer you up when you were sad about something. He would always be there with reassuring words, a hug, or other kind gestures.

Like other things he used to do for you, this has become less frequent recently. If your man has completely stopped reassuring you about anything that troubles you, he may have fallen out of love.

15. He has stopped making time for you

However busy his schedule, your man always used to make time for you. Even if this were just watching an episode of your favorite TV show together in the evening, he would always make time for it.

Nowadays, his schedule is still the same, but there is no longer time for you in his life.

busy man sitting at his desk

16. He is often irritable

Men often say that women are hard to read and prone to mood swings, but it certainly goes both ways. Males can just as often be irritable for reasons that can be hard to decipher.

If your partner is always irritable around you lately, and you can’t think of anything that caused it, this may be a bad sign. There may be a reason in another aspect of his life. Still, it is also possible that he is simply losing affection for you.

17. He is rude to you

One of the biggest red flags to look out for is when a guy is directly rude to you. Rudeness doesn’t always come in the form of insults. It can also be him interrupting you when you speak, belittling you in a passive-aggressive way, or making frequent criticisms of you or your behavior.

Everyone sometimes snaps when stressed, but caring guys who want the best for their girlfriends don’t do this often. A rude person is not someone you want to stay in a relationship with.

A rude person is not someone you want to stay in a relationship with. Click To Tweet

18. You no longer receive compliments

He was always the first to leave a positive comment on your latest Instagram pic. He would always tell you how pretty you were when you tried a new outfit or put makeup on. He would always laugh at your jokes and tell you how talented you were and how much he enjoyed spending time with you.

These days, compliments are scarce, and you often have to prompt them or drop some pretty heavy hints. All you want is for your partner to tell you something nice, but it never seems to happen anymore.

19. He compares you to others

Comparing your partner negatively to others is not something that frequently happens in relationships where both people are happy and content. If your man tells you that another woman (or anyone else) looks better than you, does things better, or lacks the traits he finds annoying, this is a bad sign.

Everyone has criticisms of their significant other occasionally, and they are often warranted. Still, if this happens all the time, you probably deserve better.

20. He wants to change you

Comparing you to others is not the only way you feel he finds you lacking in specific ways. For example, does he constantly make suggestions of how you could do things “better” (which usually means “the way he likes”)? This is a sign his feelings are getting cold.

Most people in loving relationships have minor aspects they want to change about their partner. However, your man shouldn’t want to change you fundamentally as a person!

sad young woman

21. He finds opportunities to start arguments

Criticisms and issues with our significant others can often go bottled up. Guys often feel they don’t know how to address these problems or bring them up in conversation. Sometimes these things only come out in arguments.

This may be why you feel like your man is looking for opportunities to start fights. Besides, a relationship full of drama is usually not worth the stress.

22. You feel excluded from shared decisions

Happy couples usually make important decisions together. No, I’m not talking about simple choices like what brand of detergent to buy. Instead, this is about more significant decisions, from how to spend your holidays to moving houses.

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This is a big problem if he makes big decisions on your behalf without asking you. Aside from this being extremely annoying, he may also be losing respect for you.

23. He shows no interest in making plans

The opposite of the previous point can also apply in some cases. For example, has your guy lost interest in making plans with you? Leaving you to make all the decisions is a sign your partner may have lost emotional investment in the relationship. When a man suddenly becomes extremely passive, the enthusiasm about your future together is probably gone.

When a man suddenly becomes extremely passive, the enthusiasm about your future together is probably gone. Click To Tweet

24. He doesn’t organize dates

Dating is not just a thing that happens early before a relationship becomes exclusive. Instead, it is a process that couples should engage in throughout the whole relationship, even if your romantic date is just a night in with a movie now and then.

If your boyfriend has completely stopped organizing dates and left it all to you, he may have lost that spark of romance. The solution may be as simple as dropping a hint, but it may be more complex than this if he has lost love for you.

25. He avoids conversations about your future together

One common sign that your man’s heart isn’t in the relationship anymore is that he avoids conversations about the future. If topics such as marriage, kids, moving house, or even just booking a vacation in the summer are met with every avoidance tactic in the book, this is a red flag.

Guys often put off making commitments by giving a non-committal answer or saying, “I’ll think about it tomorrow.” Sometimes tomorrow never comes, and you can’t wait forever.

man avoiding conversation with his girlfriend

26. He doesn’t touch you as much as he used to

Physical touch is one of the most common love languages. So if your man used to find any excuse he could to touch you but has stopped lately, he may have lost his feelings for you.

In most cases, a romantic relationship should include all kinds of physical intimacy, and not just when it comes to sex. For example, even light touches on the arm can be powerful displays of love.

27. He sits or stands apart from you in public

When we fall in love with someone, we often want to scream it from the highest rooftops and tell the world. But, even after the honeymoon period of a relationship has faded, we usually enjoy spending time with our partners in a public place.

When a guy acts in public like he barely knows you or you are just friends, this may be a way of signaling that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.

When a guy acts in public like he barely knows you or you are just friends, this may be a way of signaling that he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Click To Tweet

28. He doesn’t show interest in your hobbies

Everybody has different interests. You don’t have to share every single hobby with someone to have a great relationship with them. However, if your man has stopped showing any interest in your hobbies, it may be a sign that he no longer feels a romantic connection to you.

It’s not always easy to feign emotional investment in someone’s hobbies, even if you love them. This is especially true if you aren’t into them anymore.

29. He has stopped making an effort to get on with your friends

Friends and family are very important to most people. Guys who love and value their girlfriends try to get on well with their friends and family. This is not just to make their own lives easier; they also want to share what you value in life.

Suppose a man has stopped making any effort with the people important in your life. In that case, he may be seeing the end of your relationship approaching on the horizon.

30. He complains about you to others

Let’s be honest here; almost everyone has made at least a few minor complaints about their significant other to their friends or acquaintances before. Usually, these complaints are minor and inconsequential and can benefit relationships as they help people blow off steam.

This is a huge red flag if you find out that he has been making serious, very personal, or frequent complaints about you to anyone.

men having conversation over beer

31. He never apologizes anymore

When in a loving relationship, we usually want to be the best person for our significant other. As well as making an effort in various ways, this also means saying sorry (and meaning it) when we make mistakes, as everyone inevitably does at times.

A man who no longer apologizes for anything has either found a way never to do wrong (which is probably impossible) or has stopped caring about the relationship.

32. Hugs and kisses became shorter

In their classic heartbreak ballad, “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling,” The Righteous Brothers sang, “You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.” This is a very insightful observation of how love can fade in a relationship.

When a boyfriend seems distracted and distant even when physically intimate with you, instead of giving himself entirely to the moment, this may signal a loss of feelings for you. This can manifest itself by him always being the one to pull away from a hug or kiss—one of the most noticeable signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

33. He doesn’t flirt with you

Not everybody is naturally flirtatious or even knows how to flirt well. However, in an intimate, trusting relationship, even the shyest guys are likely to let loose and try some flirting.

If your man has stopped flirtatious behavior with you, this is something to look out for. But, on the other hand, he may have gone the opposite of being possessive that he doesn’t care anymore.

In an intimate, trusting relationship, even the shyest guys are likely to let loose and try some flirting. Click To Tweet

34. Your intimate life is almost non-existent

Popular culture and society love to tell us that every guy is obsessed with sex and constantly trying to get laid. While there is a degree of truth in this, it is also prevalent for men to lose interest in sex with their girlfriends when they are unhappy or bored in the relationship.

If your man has stopped initiating sex, why not try starting it yourself and see his response? For example, he may have been waiting for you to make a move, or he may be uninterested.

35. He is not making any effort in the bedroom

The frequency of sexual activity is not the only factor to consider when looking for signs he doesn’t love you anymore. For example, if you still have plenty of sex, but he just isn’t making as much effort to please you in the bedroom, this may well indicate a lack of attraction.

Lack of effort can sometimes mean not making sure you both finish or never looking you in the face during sex. While plenty of men are unaware they aren’t satisfying the women in their lives, this is different if he used to bring his A-Game but no longer does.

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unhappy couple in bed

36. He is never even slightly jealous

Jealousy is usually a disturbing emotion. Too much jealousy can ruin relationships or lead to abuse, especially when men become possessive of their girlfriends. However, a small amount of jealousy is entirely normal and even healthy in a typical romantic relationship.

If you’re getting plenty of male attention and it doesn’t matter to him even slightly, he may soon be an ex-boyfriend.

37. He doesn’t say that he loves you

There is often a big difference between someone saying “I love you” unprompted and saying it as a response to your love confession. Unexpected words of love can be so much more meaningful.

If a guy only says that he loves you after you have said it first or doesn’t say it at all, this could be one of the signs he doesn’t love you anymore. In a mutually loving partnership, each of you should say it first from time to time.

If a guy only ever says that he loves you after you have said it first or doesn't say it at all, this could be one of the signs he doesn't love you anymore. Click To Tweet

38. You feel inadequate

Have you noticed feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem going around your head lately? Many things can cause this, such as work-related stress, family issues, or complicated friendships.

However, if you can’t think of what might be causing this feeling, your relationship with your man may be the problem. A guy who is husband material won’t make you feel like you lack anything or that you don’t matter, whether it is intentional or not.

39. You feel resentful of him

Feelings of inadequacy or not being loved, valued, and respected cause you to resent anyone making you feel this way. You trust him less and less with each excuse your partner gives for his behavior. You know that something is not right in your relationship.

Deep down in your heart, you know that you deserve more love and respect than you are receiving from your man. As a result, you will likely notice yourself feeling resentful toward him.

resentful woman

40. He is talking to other women a lot more

A man who feels unhappy in his relationship is more likely to seek solace in another woman or pursue other women in general. Meeting a new woman to whom he is attracted may even cause his loss of attraction to you.

He may hide his conversations with other women from you or even tell you he is talking to somebody else but only as a friend. While men often have female friends, which is perfectly healthy, it may be a bad omen if it appears alongside other signs.

41. He says he wants some space

A man losing the spark of passion for his girlfriend or wife will likely mention needing some space. This can mean two things: he wants to spend a little more time apart as he values his time alone, or he wants a trial separation.

Whichever is the case, it is usually best to go along with this request. Your instinct may be to do everything you can to stop this, but clinging on to somebody who wants space is a surefire way to push them away more quickly. Giving your partner more space will allow him to decide what is best for him without feeling pressured.

Clinging on to somebody who wants space is a surefire way to push them away more quickly. Click To Tweet

42. He tells you he doesn’t love you anymore

Of course, the most undeniable of the signs he doesn’t love you anymore is him telling you this directly. This is never a nice thing to hear and can be very heartbreaking. However, the best way to respond to this will vary depending on how he tells you this and the reasons he gives. If he tells you in a hurtful or angry way, you are less likely to fix the problems than if he shares his feelings delicately.

A man may tell you this to break up with you, but in some cases, he may want to fix the relationship and hope to get back the feelings of love you used to share. This latter possibility is more likely in longer relationships with mutual respect.

broken love word made of wooden letters

What to do when you notice these signs

So, what should you do when you notice signs he doesn’t love you anymore? The first step is to ensure that you haven’t caught him on a bad day—everyone will sometimes show some of these behaviors. A short phase of crankiness isn’t necessarily something that calls for the end of a relationship. However, a real loss of love usually results in at least several noticeable signs for a prolonged period.

No one magic solution will work for everyone in every situation. The reasons for falling out of love will be different in every relationship. It may be down to just one thing or multiple factors. It may be one person’s fault, both of your fault, or in many cases, nobody’s fault.

Many of the signs on this list can also be symptoms of other problems, such as stress, depression, or general unhappiness with life. For example, depression can make it difficult to appreciate or find pleasure in anything, even a significant other you still love deep down.

You may have done nothing wrong, and your partner is just in a bad emotional place. In that case, the problem still needs to be addressed for his well-being and your relationship.

Whatever the reasons and whoever is to blame, it is crucial to be open and honest with each other. If you have noticed your man showing some of these signs, it is almost always best to address them rather than ignore them. It may be time for you to sit down and talk everything through.

The reasons for falling out of love will be different in every relationship. It may be one person's fault, both of your fault, or in many cases nobody's fault. Click To Tweet

How to initiate a conversation

Knowing how to initiate the difficult conversation about whether your man still loves you is not necessarily easy. Suppose you still love your man and want to fix the problems in your relationship. In that case, it is essential to listen to his feelings and accept that you may share responsibility for declining your love life. However, don’t beat yourself up and blame yourself too much; these things often happen. Each person has a part to play in saving a relationship and reigniting the spark of love that can’t be done by just one man or woman.

It may be the case that you can do nothing to make him fall back in love with you. Coming to this conclusion is one of the most challenging things a person can face, but unfortunately, it is sometimes unavoidable. If he doesn’t want to fix the relationship or the problems are impossible to improve, the best step may be to agree to break up. The end of a relationship is almost always excruciating, but staying in a situation that makes one or both people unhappy is even worse.

Diana is a passionate beauty and lifestyle blogger. She loves writing about her journey of self-discovery and self-care and analyzing all the aspects of relationships.

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