should I break up with my boyfriend

One of the most difficult decisions to make when being in a relationship is deciding whether or not to move forward with the person who you are with. Breaking up is really hard to do in many circumstances. If you see the glass as being half empty, your view of breakups might be that a breakup represents a door closed and an opportunity lost. If you see the glass as half full, then your outlook on breakups might be that a breakup is an opportunity to have a fresh start in a situation some time down the road.

Finding the right person is not always an easy process, but the risks of meeting someone new should not deter you from being the best that you can be. I have often said and I continue to say that finding the right person is like finding a full-time job. You need to put a huge amount of effort into working on yourself to move yourself through every stage of a breakup. Here are some reasons why you should break up with your boyfriend.

Breakup is all you think about

Do you find yourself fantasising about being in a completely different situation? Have you found yourself considering how different your life would be if you were with the man of your dreams? Having those fantasies and thoughts are completely normal if you are single and searching for someone, but they are not the kinds of thoughts that most women have when we are in fulfilling relationships.

A few days ago I was chatting with a friend of mine who confided in me about the doubts that she is having in the relationship that she is in. My friend has been with her current boyfriend for less than a year. Things were going well at first between them, but my friend shared with me that she has been witnessing more of his selfish behaviour over the past several months. Her boyfriend was charming at first, but now, that charm has faded, and his true character is shining through.

RELATED:  Should I Text Him or Not? How Often Is Too Often

Your goals are drastically different

What is the point of being with someone who does not want what you want? While it is true that opposites attract, people who do not share similar goals will have a difficult time making a relationship work. Can you relate? If your hopes and dreams are important to you, then you should not let your relationship prevent you from fulfilling them.

The man in your life should be someone who supports, encourages, and understands your aspirations. During that conversation I had with my friend a few days ago, I shared with her that I completely regret spending my time trying to make relationships work with people who I was obviously incompatible with. Looking back, I realise that I would have been much better off to move forward quickly rather than to stay in a situation that was never meant to prosper.

You avoid communication

Do you find yourself doing your best to limit conversing with your boyfriend because you are afraid that if the two of you talk, you are likely to exchange heated and angry words? If so, that is a clear sign that you need to rethink remaining in your relationship. It is perfectly fine to want to keep the peace between you and your boyfriend. However, if keeping the peace means that you would rather have small talk with your mate instead of pillow talk, you should probably move on from this situation.  

When the passion is gone from a relationship, it is usually because communication is lacking. Instead of trying to avoid communicating, you and your guy should be embracing each opportunity to, well, EMBRACE each other, show each other love, and be supportive. It is difficult to show love to someone who you rarely communicate with.  Staying in a loveless union is such a waste of time and energy.  

RELATED:  52 Best Valentine's Day Gifts For Boyfriend In 2024

You realise your future is at stake

Each second that you spend with someone who is not an appropriate match for you is a second that you are preventing yourself from spending with the right guy. What is holding you back from moving forward from this relationship? Are you staying with your boyfriend because you feel deep in your heart that he is the best for you despite the obstacles that you have been through together? If so, then perhaps sticking around and toughing out the relationship will be worth it in the end.  

When you search your heart and you keep the right perspective in mind, you will be able to recognise whether or not staying with your boyfriend is negatively affecting your future. You might feel as if your future is decided upon and that there is no one else out there for you, but life can be very unpredictable. No one knows exactly what the future holds, but when you prepare for a new situation, you will see that things will fall into place for you. Staying with your boyfriend until you “find someone else” will not help you to find someone else faster. If you are not staying together for the right reasons, then you are both preventing yourselves and each other from finding true happiness. 

You are happier apart than together

The moment of truth about whether or not to breakup is made really clear to you when you realise that you laugh more, smile more, and have a more benevolent disposition during times when you are separated from your boyfriend than you do when the two of you are together. Shouldn’t your partner bring out your best qualities rather than your worst qualities?

RELATED:  How to Know If a Man Truly Loves You

If you find that each minute you spend with your current partner makes you feel soured and negative towards love, then you need to strongly consider ending the relationship. You should be feeling more amazing than angry when you spend time with your love mate. Being with someone who you feel brings more negativity into your life than positivity is destructive. The situation will only change when you enforce change.

The feelings that you will experience immediately after a breakup will be similar to being on a rollercoaster ride. There will be highs, lows, dips, and turns, but eventually, the ride of your emotions will slowly settle. Start seeing the glass as half full; you will have the opportunity to try again with someone completely new. A breakup does not have to mean that all other possibilities at finding love are closed to you. However, until you firmly close the door to a partnership that is clearly not working out, you might not be ready to enter a new relationship. If you find yourself thinking about breaking up more frequently than you think about making up, it is clear that you should strongly consider breaking up with your boyfriend.

Akua is a Canadian born and raised girl with Caribbean roots. She is a journalist, actress, music teacher, performer, owner and marketer of 3 worldwide dating websites, as well as an independent Pure Romance business owner selling passion products for singles and couples.

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Be the first to get the latest updates and exclusive content straight in your inbox!