signs he is making love to you

When you’ve just started dating a guy, it is often tough to know if he is falling for you. If you wondered, “Is he with me just for the sex?” or “Is this more than just sex?” you are not alone.

What are the signs he is making love to you? Is there a difference between sex and lovemaking to men, or is it just us females that perceive it as two different things?

If you are unsure whether the guy has any romantic intentions or is just enjoying carnal pleasure, I will help you find the answer.

1. Your satisfaction is his priority

You know you have a deeper connection if your partner focuses on your satisfaction in the bedroom above his. He asks what you like or dislike and pays attention to your signals.

When it comes to the male gender, this is a significant indicator of making love vs. sex. If all he does is go about his business seeking satisfaction, he probably uses you.

However, if he makes sure that he pleases you, this is one of the signs he sees you as somebody special and cherishes you.

woman squeezing white blanket from pleasure

2. He pays attention to foreplay

Making love is most often associated with sensual foreplay. It might not matter so much for men, but it can make a tremendous difference for women.

If he usually pounces on you, completely disregarding foreplay, then he is not making love to you. Sex with someone you love should be about engaging in foreplay even before reaching the bed, touches, and kisses.

Making erotic gestures that will increase your desire for each other before engaging in more intimate physical activities is a prelude to lovemaking.

3. He makes eye contact often

During sex, men generally don’t bother searching for your gaze or giving you deep glances. But, if it’s lovemaking, you will notice that he takes the time to look into your eyes. And as they say, “one look is worth a thousand words.”

When a man maintains eye contact while making love, it can be one of the signs that he’s catching feelings for you. There is no way you will mistake that look for anything else when you experience it.

romantic couple looking st each other in bed

4. He takes his sweet time

Most men will not rush intimate moments if they want more than sex with you. His concern with prolonging and making the intimate experience enjoyable and memorable signifies that he is making love to you, not merely quenching his sexual desires.

If you are still wondering how to tell if he loves you in bed, him having slow sex with you generally sits at the top of the list.

Most men will not rush the intimate moments if they want more than sex with you. Click To Tweet

5. He doesn’t leave after sex

Whether we are talking about a guy turning on his side and going to sleep, leaving the bedroom or the house, that’s something men never do after sex if they consider a woman more than just a casual sex partner.

If you still doubt his intentions, observing your partner’s behavior after the sexual encounter is essential. When he spends time with you after sex, it strongly signals that you are more than just a lover to him.

man and woman sleeping in bed

6. He whispers sweet nothings

While this rule may not apply to everybody, during moments of sexual intimacy, some people like expressing their feelings verbally. Some guys prefer being loud and dirty talk, but if your partner is making love to you, you can expect to hear him make sweet comments or give compliments.

The guy catching feelings will want to make the intimate experience as personal as possible. He will communicate his attraction to you by saying sweet things even when he isn’t making eye contact.

7. He pays attention to all of your body

When a guy wants to make you feel like a queen and show how precious you are to him, he will touch more than just the intimate parts of your body. He will take his time to lavish your entire body with attention.

These are gestures of more than physical attraction to your body, it can even mean that the guy is in love with you.

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man lovingly touching his partner in bed

8. He shows his affection

His behavior and gestures will signal his affection and emotional connection with you. Whether it’s a tight hug or telling you that he loves you, a man who is not just interested in having sex with you will display such affection during or after sex.

When he yearns for physical, but not necessarily sexual, closeness and shows his soft side, he might be falling for you.

When he yearns for physical, but not necessarily sexual closeness and shows his soft side, he might be falling for you. Click To Tweet

9. Your boundaries matter to him

A man who is making love to you will always respect your boundaries. He will never probe your limits or do things to you without knowing that you are okay with it.

Your choices, inside and outside the bedroom, will matter to him more than satisfying his fantasies and desires.

couple in love looking at each other in bed

10. He makes you feel comfortable

When a man cherishes you, you will be at ease and savor every moment. You will know that the guy is making love to you if he goes out of his way to ensure you feel comfortable.

After all, the intimate experience is not fun if you feel overly conscious and can not relax. A man who wants more than sex will know how to make you feel comfortable with him, or at least he will try to do so.

11. He is open to new things

Your desires in bed should be just as important as your partner’s. A man who treats you as someone important knows that. Like in daily life, he will be open to trying what you suggest in bed and won’t focus solely on his sexual preferences.

Your lovemaking partner will want to know your sexual fantasies and engage in fulfilling them. He will want to explore whatever makes you happy or satisfied during your sexual activities together.

young couple kissing in the back seat of the car

12. He notices non-verbal queues

Love signals from a man can also consist of him noticing small details while you are having sex. You won’t always need to verbally express what you want if he is really into you.

Any man interested in more than satisfying his lust will notice your non-verbal queues without you spelling them out. Unlike emotionally unavailable men, he will pay close attention to your body, how you breathe and move, and how you react to his moves and physical touch.

13. He makes you feel beautiful

You know it’s lovemaking when your partner makes you feel beautiful in bed. He might express it directly or look at you as if you were a wondrous thing.

If he cares enough about you and wants you to feel like you’re the only one for him, this will come naturally to him. Sometimes the whole lovemaking experience will leave you feeling like that, and that’s not something a man who wants just sex can achieve.

young man caressing his girlfriend in bed

14. He soothes you

When you have an insecurity or a concern about going to bed with a man, he should be able to calm and reassure you that you truly matter to him. It’s normal to have some reservations before getting intimate with a man, especially if this is a new relationship.

You know he’s making love, not using you as an object for releasing sexual tension, when he is not pushy and helps you soothe your anxiety.

15. He shows his vulnerable side

Like women, men get vulnerable or start feeling shy. Showing some shyness is a good sign because it means he is not afraid to reveal his weak side and is not jumping in bed with you on a whim.

The guy might be worried about performing at his best, or he might have concerns about his body. Either way, not being afraid to expose vulnerabilities indicates that he has his guard down with you. It happens only with people one feels emotionally close to.

affectionate couple sharing romantic moment-in the bedroom

16. He wants to talk to you after sex

Some men want to have sex. And their treatment of women after the sexual act speaks louder than words.

Does he engage in pillow talk after sex and spends time with you once he gets out of bed? This guy is probably seeking more than sex. He is curious about your personality, wants to know you better, and has an emotional connection with you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t bother, and he would get up and go after finishing his business.


17. He can’t get enough of you

A man who wants to make love to you will be eager to spend time with you in bed and shower you with attention again and again. He will want more kissing, more cuddling, and more intimate moments.

If he can’t get enough of you outside the bedroom as well, it’s more than a physical act. Engaging in different activities or simply spending time together in comfortable silence, especially if you are not married, indicates that he is serious about you.

couple in love having fun on the beach

18. He keeps in touch

Men who want sex won’t call you to check if you are doing ok or send you a cute text message to brighten your day. When making love vs. having sex, you will notice that the guy will show interest in you.

The man who is serious about you will want to keep in touch and spend time together. He will show interest in hanging out and introduce you to his friends and family.

You can be confident that he is genuine and he has serious intentions. It could even mean the marriage will be on the table.

19. He is open about his desires

Men can be open about how you make them feel and what they want from you in bed just as much as women. Once he feels emotionally connected and becomes comfortable with you, he will be more open about expressing his sexual fantasies or kinks.

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When a man is making love to you, he wants to be as free in expressing his desires as you are. Freedom and comfort while engaging in sexual activities help you connect more deeply and make him want you even more.

lovers kissing in bed

20. He goes down on you

Most men won’t bother giving oral sex when they want to satisfy their own physical desire. When he is in it for more than just sex, your man will have no reservations about going down on you.

Whether he has helped you reach orgasm or not, he will want to do so again in an even more intimate manner.

21. He makes you laugh

Have you met a man who makes you smile or laugh in bed? It is quite rare, but it does happen. And when it does, it means that the atmosphere between the two of you is quite extraordinary.

You need a specific type of connection to experience a wide range of emotions with someone during lovemaking. You also must be emotionally comfortable with that person to react in such a manner.

Your partner’s ability to bring out positive emotions in you during intercourse is one of the best perks of lovemaking.

young passionate couple in bed

22. It is written all over his face

What does lovemaking mean to a guy, you might ask? After making love, he will look happy or smile childishly.

With a man who has just made love to you, it is impossible not to notice the expression of genuine happiness on his face. Showing how content he feels after spending time with you in bed is one of the tell-tale signs that he does not just satisfy his carnal desires.

23. He will choose positions you enjoy

Making love implies being thoughtful when choosing sexual positions. Your partner may go for positions where he can kiss you while having sex or where you can look at each other in the eyes.

But it’s not all about kissing during sex that makes it a more meaningful experience. He will choose positions you enjoy, and you can caress each other.

feet of a couple in bed

24. He tells you he loves you

Words can be cheap, and a guy might tell you he loves you without meaning it. But you have to remember — most guys aren’t that kind of sleazebags.

Physical intimacy tends to amplify people’s deeper feelings. If he blurts out that he loves you during an intimate moment, it’s one of the major signs he is making love to you, just like he said.

That’s especially true if he’s usually a more reserved guy. He may have been so caught up in the pleasurable moment that he let his true self show, if only briefly.

25. He keeps kissing you

It’s safe to say most people kiss during sexual encounters. But there’s a big difference between the types of kisses in a casual encounter and during deeper intimacy.

Did you notice that he keeps kissing you again and on again? And not just on your lips — he gives kisses to your face, your arms, your erogenous zones, absolutely all over your body?

Deep, intimate kisses are one of the more common signs that the man cares deeply about you and your pleasure. He’s not just looking to satisfy his physical needs and wants to make you feel good on a deep level.

There’s even science to back this up! A kiss between two people releases a potent cocktail of brain chemicals that make us feel nice and are linked to feeling connected and secure.

He’s not just doing it for the sex. It’s because his own brain is telling him there’s a strong connection between you two, and he needs to reinforce it. In other words, it is probably love, not just an infatuation.

man about to kiss his girlfriend on her neck

26. He wants to know how you are feeling

A man who wants only a booty call from you won’t ask any questions. It’ll be a “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” kind of business-like affair.

If a man enjoys making love to you, he’ll surely want to know that you’re feeling good — and not just in terms of physical pleasure. He wants to be sure that you feel safe and comfortable with what you two are doing.

The man asking how it feels for you throughout your lovemaking session is one of the biggest signs he is making love to you. He wants you to feel happy and content in every possible way, and he’ll stop immediately if you say you are uncomfortable.

27. He’s obsessed with your body

Sex is a physical affair by its very nature. But one key difference between that and love-making is the degree of attention and care the guy gives to your body.

You know all those little things about your appearance you’re always aware and concerned about? The stretch marks, the funny birthmark, maybe some extra padding here or there?

One of the clear signs he is making love to you is that he doesn’t give a hoot or a holler about any of that. When a man loves you and wants to express that love physically, he’ll go crazy about every single inch of you.

man admires womans body in bed

28. He says your name

When a man keeps repeating your name in the throes of passion, you’ll know there’s not someone else on his mind. Saying your name is one of the many signs he is making love to you.

Then again, you also need to realize that it’s not bad if he never says your name while you’re at it. Some guys are just quiet and express their feelings in other ways.

It is a good indicator of true love-making when you hear him whispering your name in bed. And that’s doubly true if the man is usually the awkward silent type!

29. He wants to cuddle

Men aren’t typically thought of as cuddlers. So, if your guy genuinely wants to cuddle, spoon, or hold you in the afterglow, he is feeling completely satisfied and experiencing a deep connection with you.

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That’s not something a man would do if he only wanted to blow off some steam with a roll in the hay. It is one of the most significant indicators he is making love to you when he becomes affectionate and cuddly afterward.

Wanting to keep your two bodies physically connected even after the intimate encounter is a form of non-verbal communication. He’s telling you that you make him satisfied beyond simple physical pleasure.

happy couple cuddling

30. His body language betrays him

Pay attention to your partner’s position, gestures, or facial expressions before, during, and after you tumble into bed. There are a few telltale signs that a man enjoys making love to you beyond the immediate carnal factors.

Try and note things that are at odds with how he usually carries himself. A stone-faced, stoic man could suddenly beam a bright smile, or a confident guy that always stands tall might shrink against you in an unintended show of vulnerability.

None of these changes is a bad thing, though! When your lover is so invested in love-making and your mutual pleasure, he loses control of his body language.

31. He accepts that “no” means no

A satisfying sex life isn’t just about having sexual intercourse. Reacting appropriately to having your advances denied is an integral part of healthy relationships.

A guy who takes a “no” in his stride is likely to have strong feelings for you. And it just makes sense.

Think about it — if a man is with you just because he enjoys sex with you, how would he react when you deny him the only thing he’s there for? Probably not very well, right?

When a man wants to spend time with you, even if you are not in the mood for intimacy, it’s an obvious sign you are on the same page and have good chemistry. He probably cares about you more deeply. And when you finally get to it, you can be certain he will be making love to you.

happy young couple relaxing on the couch

32. He tells you how great it was

Like when a guy tells you he likes you, you shouldn’t blindly trust him when he tells you how great your intimate moment was. After all, a player could say that to ensure he can get some from you again.

But when he genuinely means it, it’s hard to miss. He might hold you close, pull you in for a kiss, or start a relaxed conversation about how you just blew his world away.

With guys, it’s often blatantly clear when their real emotions are showing. You can tell that when he says you made him feel special, he means it.

33. He wants to learn

Some women don’t consider nerds to be the most attractive guys. That is until the first time he blows your mind with something he learned and researched — just for you.

When the man tries to figure out how to bring you the most pleasure, he is invested in you, even if he refuses to admit it. This is a remarkable sign that he sees what you do as making love and not just a casual encounter.

It’s also great for you because he’s ready to spice things up in bed. You’ll never know what kind of hot new trick you’ll be surprised with!

lovers in bedroom

34. His eyes look different

Holding eye contact is common during intimacy. But why do his eyes look a bit different this time?

The answer lies in basic biology. Both arousal and feelings of attraction release brain chemicals that make us feel good and increase our sense of connection with our partner. These chemicals also cause pupil dilation, like some recreational drugs.

His eyes give away that he’s high on you, and his brain is trying to push him toward a committed relationship.

Even casual sex without deeper emotions causes pupil dilation, so it’s not a clear sign of lovemaking. But when combined with other signs you’re read about on this list, there’s a good chance his eyes are a window to his soul.

35. He mimics what you do

You kiss him on the neck, and he returns the gesture. You run your fingers down his back, and he does the same.

Mimicking another person’s gestures and actions, called mirroring, is a basic human response to wanting to build trust with them. We often don’t even realize we do it — it comes as naturally as breathing.

When your guy imitates what you’re doing, it shows he is looking to deepen your relationship while he enjoys making love to you.

young playful couple in bed

36. He remembers contraception

When a man makes love to you, he is focused on making you feel safe and secure. That includes remembering and using contraception.

A guy who only wants to get off won’t care whether he wraps it up. But when romance is involved, the man will have a condom with him or ask if you are on the pill.

This is not a big sign on the same level as some others. But it does show that he’s paying attention to the future for both of you.

37. You will genuinely feel the difference

The definition of making love can vary from person to person. We all have different ways of showing attraction, both sexual and emotional.

Each guy makes love in his own way, as do most women. Where does the fine line between sex and making love go, then? Sometimes you will feel the man is making love to you, and you won’t need to look for any particular sign to verify it.

It is impossible to answer with complete precision what lovemaking truly means. However, it is much more than saying “I love you” during intimate moments that make you feel a special connection with your partner.

Camilla is a marketer and a self-proclaimed gadget junkie. She works online and lives in her suburbia house with her three cats. Camilla has made plenty of relationship mistakes along the way. She wants to share these experiences to help other people gain insight into their problems and hopefully find a path to their solutions.

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