Have you ever wondered why you find some people more attractive than others? One of the first things that we usually notice and attracts us sexually in another person is their physical appearance. However, what happens when you get attracted not by the looks, but rather by their intellect?
There is nothing hotter than someone who is intellectually stimulating. You know the type of person I am talking about. That person who engages you in a conversation that leaves you thinking about it for days later. This type of person gets you on all levels.
Some people find intellect not only attractive, but also sexually exciting. If this sounds familiar to you, you may be a sapiosexual.
What is a sapiosexual?
People are attracted to various characteristics of each other and being sapiosexual is no different. Sapiosexual person finds someone’s intellect and mind sexually appealing. This means that the combination of the other person’s knowledge and wit turns you on.
Sure, intelligence is a sexy thing, however, a sapiosexual person finds intellect to be the most desirable characteristic in another person. A sapiosexual is able to expand and connect with you in a way that no one else can. Their brainpower and mental capacity is enough to make you weak in the knees.
This is one reason that many people who work together have office romances or date. It isn’t just because they spend a lot of time together, it’s that they have similar interest in their work. Especially if the work challenges your thinking and gives the opportunity for thought provoking conversations.
How do you know you are a sapiosexual?
How you identify, your preferences, and what you find sexy are totally up to you. If you aren’t sure what turns you on or off, try this exercise.
Make a wish list of what you want in a partner. What characteristics, values, and interest are you looking for? If you write them out, you are forced to get specific and identify your interest. If you find that intellect or how their brain works as one of the top items listed, it is a good indicator that you may be a sapiosexual.
Here are a few questions to consider:
- Do you find someone’s intellect more attractive than their physical appearance?
- Do you find it hot when someone engages you in a deep intellectual discussion?
- Is someone’s intellect and way of thinking the most attractive thing about them?
- Are you highly stimulated by how someone challenges you to think?
- Have your friends asked you why you date a certain person because they think that you can do better based on physical looks?
- Have you put extra thought into a topic to bring up during a date so that you can figure out if they have what it takes to meet your intellectual needs?
If you answered ‘yes’ to most of these questions you can call yourself a sapiosexual. The way you identify is your choice, but hopefully you are beginning to realise if these points sound familiar to you.
The major sapiosexual turn-ons:
1. You consider fun banter and words as foreplay.
2. Your ideal date would take you to a book reading at the library then spend hours discussing one another’s thoughts about the event.
3. You are looking for someone who isn’t afraid or turned off by how you think. They actually find it very attractive.
4. When you go to a date’s house, you are instantly drawn to their bookshelf. You see that you have similar interest and even a few books you have never seen before.
5. You get turned on by someone who teaches you new things that you didn’t know they existed.
Choose the right strategy
Online dating can be superficial, but there are some dating sites that can help you get to know the person’s intellect before going out with them. In your profile, don’t hide who you are and be honest about what you are looking for. Ask thought provoking questions that help you learn how a person thinks and so you can engage their wit. Taking these actions will help you stand out and attract an intellectually stimulating person.
If online dating is not your thing, go to places and events where intellectual people gather. Look online to find activities and events that peak your interest. If you find these intellectually stimulating, then it is likely another sapiosexual will as well. For example, if the local college is having a panel discussion on Nietzsche, attend and be open to conversation with those around you. Where in your city does intellectual people gather? Create a list of these potential places and make plans to attend.
Don’t give up or settle in your quest to find the right partner. You know what you like and you know what you are looking for. Do not give up because you haven’t found the right person that meets your intellectual needs. Also don’t settle for someone whose idea of intellect is less than yours. This will come back to haunt you in the future. Your intellectual hottie is out there!
It can be easy to judge another person by their looks or occupation. However, don’t judge a book by its cover. Be aware that the right person for you may not be obvious. For example, you may think that someone who works as a physical education teacher will not have the mental capacity that you are looking for. However, say yes to the date, give them a chance, you never know the different levels of a person. What if they enjoy Shakespeare and can quote monologues from memory? You never know until you give someone a chance. It can be very fulfilling to learn about topics and interest that you didn’t realize by dating someone that you wouldn’t have given a chance to.
Be aware that the right person for you may not be obvious. For example, you may think that someone who works as a physical education teacher will not have the mental capacity that you are looking for. However, say yes to the date, give them a chance, you never know the different levels of a person. What if they enjoy Shakespeare and can quote monologues from memory? You never know until you give someone a chance. It can be very fulfilling to learn about topics and interest that you didn’t realize by dating someone that you wouldn’t have given a chance to.