how to foreplay

Love it or hate it, foreplay isn’t something that you can skip if you want to have mind-blowing sex. Some say foreplay is like the appetizer to the main course, but I believe it’s a narrow definition that won’t make you fulfilled — at least not long-term. So let’s backtrack a little, define foreplay meaning, and then proceed with tips and tricks on how to do foreplay.

What is foreplay?

The dictionary definition of foreplay is the sexual stimulation of one’s partner, usually as a prelude to sexual intercourse, to build sexual arousal. In other words, something you do before you have sex. That sounds a little dry.

For most, foreplay means a combination of kissing, dirty talking, oral sex, hand stimulation, a little massage — all done to prepare for penetration, “the star of the show.” However, this definition is way too limiting and rather linear.

What if we expanded our views on foreplay? Here’s what I believe foreplay truly is: the gap in between the last time you had sex and the next time you have sex.

And what that means is that it’s not something that starts as soon as you get into the bedroom and close the door. Foreplay is something that begins as soon as you finish the lovemaking until the next time you have sex again.

It’s not something that you do to get you from point A to point B. It becomes a dance between two partners to keep you in a constant state of arousal. Now that’s mind-blowing.

Foreplay is something that begins as soon as you finish the lovemaking until the next time you have sex again. Click To Tweet

Why is foreplay important?

Foreplay triggers physiological and physical responses that make you want sex and do it more often. It keeps the arousal flowing, making it easier to go from zero to ten in a few minutes.

Most of the time, partners don’t get aroused at the same time. For some people, that will take a little longer. For others, it’s a particular thing that gets them aroused. So having foreplay helps to keep this arousal flowing and makes it easier to get into a sexy mood. Foreplay means different things to different people, so you need to be curious about your partner’s wants and likes.

Now that we’ve expanded our foreplay definition, you can see that everything that happens in between your lovemaking sessions matters. And remember, foreplay doesn’t have to lead to intercourse! It could be the main event too.

How to do foreplay

Most body parts can become hotspots when aroused, but some areas tend to be more sensitive than others and are worth the extra attention. The key with erogenous zones is to bring your full presence and awareness to your fingertips. Don’t just touch — feel!

When you are massaging your partner, focus on your fingers’ sensations and imagine that his body is a blank canvas, and he is your masterpiece. Use some pressure, altering it with soft caresses barely touching his skin.

Pay attention to the areas that are often forgotten, like his jaw. Often when you gently massage a man’s jawline, he starts to relax. As soon as he is relaxed, he begins to have an erection. That’s a fantastic way to stimulate his erection without having to give him direct touch.

Best foreplay is all about anticipation, and if you can find new ways to build his excitement, sex will be more memorable.

Best foreplay is all about anticipation, and if you can find new ways to build his excitement, sex will be more memorable. Click To Tweet

Do men enjoy foreplay?

Men do enjoy foreplay. It’s a myth that they don’t want it. Most men enjoy receiving just as much as giving. They crave a woman’s touch. But here’s the thing, they like it when it is spontaneous, and they don’t have to ask for it.

So grab his package or squeeze him while you pass him in the kitchen. Ensure you hug him often and rub yourself all over him when he returns home after a long day of work.

Men crave to be loved and nurtured. When it comes to sex, men often want more loving touch. They need depth and intimacy as much as you.

But here’s a critical point, men want to give pleasure to a woman. They genuinely want to make us happy and are more than willing to do what it takes to please us and reach orgasm. It’s not even for their ego. It has more to do with providing us with pleasure and bliss.

Men love it when you love your body, make noises, maintain eye contact, and you are into it. They are often more focused on our pleasure than theirs.

And let’s be real here. You can never give a man too many blow jobs, handjobs, or attention to his penis. The fact that you are willing to worship his penis can transform a man’s esteem and confidence and make him addicted to you. He wants to know that you want him.

How to drive him crazy in bed

If you want to turn him on and drive him crazy in bed, you need to bring confidence in the bedroom. There’s something about female confidence that attracts men sexually when you own your awesomeness without being pushy. Make eye contact before and after a kiss. Show him lust, be a tease.

Show off your assets, whether it is your booty or your breasts. Be playful and use banter. Be yourself, love yourself, be real.

Men love to be seduced as it helps them get out of their heads and into their bodies. Luckily we women have many assets we can use. From our looks to our voices and how we move, we are literarily mesmerizing creatures.

Make it visually pleasing for him and you. Whether it’s a sexy lingerie outfit or an ultra-soft sweater that says: “touch me all over.” Put a little extra care in the way you look as you are inviting him to the bedroom.

A moment of tenderness can also open his heart. A sweet caress on the cheek, start softly and go slowly. Don’t rush things and be very deliberate with your motions.

Use your hands. Touch your man all over and give his penis some special attention (trust me, you can never do that too many times). Surprise him by massaging his testicles during oral sex. Don’t limit yourself to your hands; add your mouth, tongue, and body to caress his. Admire his body and have fun.

Touch him in a way that turns you on and make sure to express vocal excitement or desire for him. And last but not least, change positions and angles. Kiss his neck from behind. Or if he is laying down, surprise him with a kiss with your head in opposite directions.

When it comes to foreplay, there’s no one-size-fits-all. It is crucial not to make assumptions and to have honest, open communication. Just talking about turn-ons can be extremely exciting. So pay attention to what your lover asks for and enjoys. The more you can love what you are doing, the more enjoyable it will be for both of you.

How to make foreplay more interesting

If you want to take your foreplay game to the next level, you must create an atmosphere that stimulates all your senses.

First, you need to have an intimate, distraction-free environment. Turn your bedroom into a love sanctuary for the night.

Second, incorporate sounds and use music to transport you to an alternate reality. Whisper in your man’s ear how much you appreciate him or what you love about his body. Don’t be shy to share your sexual fantasies, this is a perfect time for that.

Third, add the element of smell by using scented massage oil or candles; it will create a mood and cast beautiful shadows on your bodies.

Fourth, use soft fabrics — either silky underwear or bedsheets that are so soft you want to roll in them for hours.

And of course, this wouldn’t be complete without stimulating his sense of taste. You can feed your man the taste of your lips, especially if he’s blindfolded, or surprise him with exotic fruits.

Now that you’ve got the basics covered, you can add another layer. Think outside the box.

If you want to take your foreplay game to the next level, you must create an atmosphere that stimulates all your senses. Click To Tweet

Unusual foreplay tips and ideas

Often our creativity and sexual energy are closely linked together. When you explore something new and different, it fires new areas in your brain, and when you do it with your partner, it strengthens your bond.

Anything can fuel your sexual energy, a painting class, dance lessons, cooking, or martial art, as long as you share a special moment with your partner. Learn something new and exciting together.

Take your foreplay to the next level and express your love and desire for each other in writing. If you are reluctant to use a pen and paper the old-fashioned way, send each other sexy voice messages. You can be describing what you would like to do to your partner’s body or remembering the hot moments you shared.

It could be a sexy text message, such as “I can’t wait to rip your clothes off” or “I’ve got something planned for you later, and I know you will like it.”

10 foreplay tips for women

  1. Create a constant state of arousal. Foreplay starts way before you reach the bedroom, so make sure you tease each other during the day and show some skin.
  2. Massage and touch him. Whether a sensual or relaxing massage, look for areas that get less attention but hold a lot of tension: butt, jaw, sacrum, feet. Don’t just touch, feel. He is a blank canvas, so turn him into your masterpiece.
  3. Give his cock special attention. Even a few seconds of cock fondling will go a long way in building his self-esteem and arousal. Worship and send energy to his penis.
  4. Use your feminine assets and seduce him. Wear something that makes you feel sexy and feminine.
  5. Be bold, confident, and authentically you.
  6. Have a conversation about your turn-ons. You might learn something new and get inspired about what he loves. No more guessing.
  7. Think senses and engage all five of them; it will make the experience multi-dimensional.
  8. Build desire with sexy texts throughout the day. It is up to you how dirty you want those to be.
  9. Be playful together and do something new. It will activate your sexual energy.
  10. And remember, foreplay does not start and finish in the bedroom. It is up to you to transform your entire life into a giant foreplay experience.

Foreplay is not just about what you can do for your partner. It’s about what lights you up as well. When you approach foreplay from this new angle, it doesn’t matter how long it lasts. It’s not about the quantity; it’s about the quality. Live your life turned on, and remember all good sex starts with foreplay. So start early!

Céline is a leading expert who has helped and worked with over one and a half thousand men, women, and couples to discover their sensuality and energy in their sex life and relationships. She teaches how to unleash sexual potential, bring out the best in each other, and have mind-blowing sex for hours. When Celine was twenty, she decided to leave her safe and beautiful home of Switzerland and travel the world alone to begin her quest for ancient spiritual and sexual knowledge. She studied Ayurveda and hatha yoga in India, Taoism and Thai massage in Thailand, before becoming a Certified Sexological Bodyworker. Céline and her husband Kevin are creators of the Sexual Power and Mastery course, and they host The Love Lab Podcast.

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