Sex and relationships aren’t easy territories to navigate on their own, let alone combined, and getting snagged in these pitfalls aren’t fun for anyone. It may seem crazy to think sex can make or break a relationship but it’s one of the biggest reasons most couples don’t last. To prevent your union from becoming a casualty of war in the game that is love here’s five types of sex you and your partner should be having to will keep the bae blues at bay.
1. Romantic sex
When you hear the words “romantic sex” a bed covered in rose petals, flickering candle lights, and Elton John serenading you and your lover in the background may come to mind, but all of that hoopla isn’t necessary for a couple to enjoy a romantic evening. By romance I’m referring to an emotional attraction, you feel towards your partner, possibly when they do something kind and unexpected, that makes you feel warm and tingly inside (and in other places too). Your desire to connect with them on a deeper emotional level usually leads to an episode of really great sex that makes you feel more spiritually connected. Take your time during, remain in the moment, and allow yourself to really feel what’s happening between yourself and your partner. Romantic, emotionally fueled sex, strengthen your bond as a couple. That type of solidarity is needed to keep the relationship together during the tough times so let the romance begin, again and again.
2. Kinky sex
Unlike romantic sex, “kinky sex” should be exactly how you imagined when you heard the words. Blindfolds, whips, and everything else you’ve ever wanted to try with your partner is on the kinky sex menu. Lots of laughter, excitement, and a new found curiosity into what makes your partner tick sexually is the best part about this type of sex. This is often a time when you both possess open hearts and minds towards what your partner desires. Steps towards mutual consideration can easily translate outside of the bedroom as well and as you stumble together through new sexual acts vulnerability levels will increase as well. Vulnerability equals a nurturing response towards one another, an ultimate win/win situation, so get kinky!
3. Maintenance sex
It’s impossible to talk about sex and relationships without discussing “maintenance sex.” This type of sex is often described negatively, as boring, and bland sex that couples have on a regular basis to please their partner. Although none of what I’ve just described sounds fun, this type of sex is equally important for the overall health of a relationship for many reasons. Maintenance sex provides perfect opportunities for compromise, selflessness, and structure. Let’s walk through a typical scenario where only one-half of the relationship wants to have sex when the other half could take it or leave it. The uninterested party is presented with an opportunity to be selfless of their desires to abstain and offer a compromise of oral sex instead. Maybe they can agree to sex if the interested party agrees to do most of the “work” in the dominant position during missionary sex. Of course, I’m not advocating pressuring a person into having sex or feel the need to say yes if you don’t want too, but if you’ve been in a long term relationship maintenance sex is definitely something you’re familiar with. Though you may dread it, it’s a necessary evil so suck it up. It’s good for you, similar to eating vegetables, but while naked.
4. Make up sex
There’s no hidden innuendo regarding “make up sex,” it is what it is and comes into play after couples argue, break up, and get back together again. It’s important for relationships to have makeup sex after disagreements because it helps us reconnect with one another more deeply than any pologya ever could. That’s not to say apologies aren’t necessary, but most of us need more in order to move past hurt. This physical reconnect produces the same sense of love and attraction for your partner as romantic sex does, as well as feelings of forgiveness and hope for a positive future onward. Though movies often depict make up sex as rough and passionate in reality, it usually involves lots of tears before, during, and after the act takes place with cuddles and kisses to follow. Either way, make up sex is needed to build and maintain a loving relationship for the long haul as well. A suggestion for couples that fight often, only to make up hours later…stop, you’ll drive each other nuts!
5. Solo sex
No matter the length of a relationship, never forget your first love, you. Literally. Touch yourself sexually, as often as you did before and maybe even more once you’ve paired up. Shockingly, many to consider masturbation as a form of cheating if they’re partners watch pornography while pleasuring themselves, but numerous scientific studies prove masturbation is healthy and normal. You shouldn’t feel self-conscious about exploring your body in general or guilty that your partner isn’t around during these times. Not only will intimate time alone allow you to discover new sexual heights comfortably on your own, but you’ll also gain knowledge that you can pass on to your lover at a later date. Solo sex is arguably the most important of the types listed, not only for self-pleasure & connection but because it’s never ending which can’t be said for courtships.
Relationships aren’t easy, not in the least, but it’s possible to make them less complicated for all involved with the right tools. Sex can be a useful tool in your bag of tricks to keep your long-term relationship victorious. Speaking of tools, don’t forget to incorporate plenty of sex toys while indulging in the five types of sex you should be having.